changes

The word "change" can mean many things. For some, it might be the a transition or alteration (noun, transitive verb). For those of us who like good music, it might simply be the David Bowie (http://www.davidbowie.com/) song. For a person with a mental disorder, it means chaos brought by the unknown or difference of a specific order/pattern especially asymmetry.



I suffer every time there's a change of those things that I SHOULD OR WANT TO HAVE CONTROL OVER. It's hard to allow someone or something take charge of these things and/or conditions.

Maybe this is why religion's important for an individual with a mental disorder for its predetermined order. Even its chaos is controlled in some church environments, like laughing and applauding. It's especially important for me to follow a set order of worship -- as long as I can understand what's going on. As I told my friend Neca, I like controlled chaos after going to what I considered a long and disorganized service at an exclusive church uptown (fairly closed to outsiders).