ordained, three months later

Three months after being ordained by the Universal Life Church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html), my little faith's of course still tested. Maybe it'll be for the rest of my life for accepting this responsibility. My problem's that I'm not sure what I'm doing or what to really do. I'm glad the Universal Life Church website has a guide that someone like can definitely use (http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/12-guide-to-divinity). Of course, all this means absolutely nothing I can't even help my own son with prayer and my pains (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-my-dying-son.html). Maybe I'm just a sham (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/02/me-me-always-me.html).

reincarnation

Many believe in the idea that a soul's inhabited a previous body (life) and that the soul will occupy another body once the present body dies -- whether or not there's a waiting period between lives. In such belief, the soul carries the sins from the past life to the next one and must purge these sins somehow.

Depending who you talk to on the topic of reincarnation, there are two secondary beliefs. Some believe that these life cycles occur a specific number of times; by the end of which, we're saved or condemned. At the same time, others are more generous as for them these cycles continue till the soul's purged all its sins (Krishna belief of achieving enlightenment).

This beliefs exist outside a predefined religion as members of a religion might believe or ignore the concept of reincarnation.

If all the latter were true, this could explain why, from the moment we're born, some of us seem to start paying back for sins that we might have done in a previous life. If so, how would our understanding of God be affected? Could God have us been born to merely continue a life that we're not aware of and pay for sins that we can't recall? It'd be a cruel god. Of course, we, as Christians, want and need to believe in a just God. Hence most Christians would see reincarnation as an idea that can't exists within our understanding of Christianity.

There's a little twist in this belief. Some people believe that the next life in human form (most likely, if it were true), but some believe you could return as a lower animal.

On a personal level, I don't know what to think. The idea of reincarnation isn't quite my cup of tea, but at times I wonder if it were true. Who could I've been? Who'd I be in a future life? Note that I refer to coming back in human form and not as a lower animal form. Then again, if I were to come back as a lower animal, I'd rather be a lion or an eagle. Of course, this is just too twisted and not really part of the Christian doctrine.

religion as a system of superstition

Risking the possibility of being labeled a heretic or worse, religion can be seen as a form of system of superstition by an outsider since we often do things or avoid doing others in order to please God. The thought that some action done or avoided has control over of life or fate could easily be laughed at.

For example, in the Catholic doctrine, which I grew up with, if a person fails to go to church on a Sunday, he/she has automatically committed a mortal sin and fallen off God's Grace. This means that, in the case of that person's death, he/she would be cast to hell or the purgatory -- mortal sin. I grew up with this "superstition" engraved in my soul.

murdered trees, gifts, snow & joy: puppet show in the manger

On a personal note (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/murdered-trees-gifts-snow-joy.html), we'll just have the little Nativity set that I've got my little boys last year in church. It consists of a small barn, a finger puppet for Mary and another for Joseph, a plush lamb, a plush camel and baby Jesus swaddled in the manger (picture below). My two-year-old loves to play with it -- most likely not understanding what the Nativity set represents. Maybe this is how children learn and enjoy religion while growing up as "true" children of God.

raised Catholic, yet going to a Presbyterian church

Although I was born and raised Catholic, I try to avoid everything that might be related to Catholicism. I was never fond of celibacy and saints while growing up. I rather thought this was a weird part of "religion" (the word that we all used when referring to Catholicism and/or Christianity). I'd also see every day men leading service (mass) without a robe like priests do and I didn't understand this. At the time, I thought that a priest should wear a robe and other men had no right to lead a service. Understanding Catholicism was difficult and getting used to Protestantism has been another difficult task. Maybe this is why I go to a Presbyterian church, which is similar to the Catholic tradition (service structure, church structure, robes, etc) yet so different too (sermon, Eucharist, female pastors, prayer, etc). I really don't know if I made a good decision quitting the Catholic church, but at least I know that it's brought me closer to God.

playing mahjong (again)

Although I write out of need and from discipline (no so-called inspiration), I've been playing Mahjong (my favorite game; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/mahjong.html) on my BlackBerry. The game's got nothing to do with religion, but it's a form to discipline to see possible future moves on the board -- similar in some level to chess but much more fun (to me at least). If you're wondering why I'm writing this entry then, writing this merely takes five to ten minutes of my commute (6:42AM) while each game of Mahjong may last as much or more depending on the complexity of the board.

as music saved my soul: writing music

When writing music, I'm often dark -- almost goth. I started writing lyrics about real issues (political, social, damnation, etc) around 1986 -- after listening to "Master of Puppets" by Metallica (http://www.metallica.com/), "Rest in Peace" by Megadeth (http://www.megadeth.com/) and "South of Heaven" by Slayer (http://www.slayer.net/). That was the break through era for thrash/speed metal. Within the raw power, the lyrics screamed justice, pain and rejection to the world status quo.

My whole direction in music went from sex and party to social issues. As a matter of fact, this might be why I like The Clash (http://www.theclash.com/) rather than The Sex Pistols (http://www.sexpistolsofficial.com/). Well I also like The Ramones (from Queens, NY; http://www.ramonesworld.com/), but that's a totally different story.

I enjoy the darkness of music without getting into minor chords for ten minutes that feel like hours -- though I like Black Sabbath (http://www.black-sabbath.com/) with Ozzy Osbourne only (http://www.ozzy.com/) and Judas Priest (http://www.judaspriest.com/). To me at least, dark lyrics with "good" music achieves more -- like The Doors (http://www.thedoors.com/) and Type O Negative (from Brooklyn, NY; http://www.typeonegative.net/).

I make reference to my music preference and inspiration -- if the word applies or matters -- because this is basically how I think musically. As a matter of fact, this morning I came up with a great idea for a two-voice/harmony (low and high octaves) song with a Hammond B4 and Leslie cabinet (no less) as the main musical instrument with dual guitars as the secondary sound backed up with jazz-like drums (brushes on the tom-toms, snare and hi-hat). The lyrics I was coming up with were religious -- how ironic and primitive.

If anyone cares, I'd gladly share my music and play it, but I'll hold all rights to my material including but not limited to the publishing. Did I mention that I studied music and its legal aspect? So let's rock!

religious differences vs non-believers

The problem's not so much whatever group of religious differences between Judaism, Christianity, Islam and any other religion. It isn't whose god or interpretation of God is the "true" God.

Belief in the Godhead or its lack of is bigger issue. Nowadays we can't say "God bless America" without some idiot complaining about the word "God."

To make matters worse, non-believers do have their own gods -- money, greed (any or all of the seven deadly sins to be included in this list), Darwin (evolution) and themselves. This is such hypocrisy that punishes believers in order to make this little population of the nation happy.

Other cultures (even those within the US) make constant references to God (Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Ra, etc) in their day-to-day speech. This is something rarely found nowadays in US English heavily tainted with political correctness. At least, it's good to know that this isn't true in other cultures.

The Muslim greeting "Salem malenku" is both a greeting and a blessing. The expression means "May the peace of God be with you."

The Arabic expression "Insh'allah" means "God willing" and it expresses the hope that God would allow something to happen. This expression was adopted in Spain as "Ojala."

At the same time, the Spanish goodbye expression "Adios" means "Go with God," which comes from the Latin expression "A Deus." The same remains true for similar expressions like "Adiu" in French. Unfortunately many of the people using this and similar expressions aren't aware of the religious meaning of these words and phrases.

In Hebrew, a person may say "Shalom" as greeting which means "May God be with you." Although Hebrew doesn't have as many references to God in its speech, worldwide most people consider Hebrew as the language of the People of God.

In English (American especially), the expressions "For God's sake" and "(May) God bless you" have rather been changed to accommodate atheists and others. These expressions have changed to "For Pete's sake" (even "For fuck's sake") and a generic "Bless you" or the German expression "Gesundheit," which means "healthiness." Expressions like "In the year of our Lord" are no longer common, but at least it survives in classic English literature and poetry.

At the least, the common expression "(May) Lord help us" or "(May) God help us" is still used as a reminder that this is a nation of believers (82.31% of Christians, 1.77% of Jews, 1.58 % of Muslims; 2006, http://www.thearda.com/internationalData/countries/country_234_1.asp) by many including Presidents.

depression, another bout

When depression hits, it hits me like a mule. In the past couple of days, I've been going through another bout with depression after too short a rest (too soon to arrive, too long to bear).

As I mentioned before (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/psychotic-christian.html), faith is simply not enough to tame the demons in my head. I must take medication in order to control the chemical imbalance in my brain, emotions, pain, confusion and all of it all. I want to feel that long-gone interest in the same things that once cheered me up.

Needless to say (or write), I take my pills every day as instructed by my psychiatrist. Maybe I should take more (three pills of each instead of two), but how much more is too much after all? After four years of taking the same dosage or the same medication, maybe my body's used to these chemicals (tolerance). Maybe I need other medications or simply more of the same.

Perhaps I've simply become painfully dull in the dire need of medications to cope. Then again I could just be getting old and bored.

two years later: such a confused man that I am or have simply become

So what am I?

1. I was raised Catholic, but always questioned the Church and its traditions and rites. Questioning the Catholic church would immediately brand me as a heretic or Protestant.

2. I took a break from church (not religion) for about fourteen (14) years. I read about different religions and faiths including Krishna.

3. I checked out the Methodist and Anglican church (2008), but I didn't feel comfortable there.

4. I've gone to a Presbyterian (Protestant) church for two years (since 2008). After a lot of soul searching, I even became a member of that church (congregation and denominational records).

5. Now I've become an "ordained minister" (pastor) in the Universal Life Church. Nonetheless I still go to the same Presbyterian church.

At the end of the day, what am I? At least, I know that I'm a Christian.

two years later: such a charlatan that I am or have simply become

Just for kicks, I got ordained as a Universal Life Church (http://www.themonastery.org/) minister on-line in under a minute (http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination). Nonetheless my views on what it takes to become a pastor remain the same. A person must study the Bible in Greek and Hebrew at least, theology, how to pray and deliver a good sermon, how to be an ambassador of God on earth and so on.

Said the latter, I might never be a pastor. Most importantly, I don't see myself using a title like "pastor" to get a tax break or other benefits. After all, I know that I might not be a shepherd (definition of the word "pastor") of any flock after all (other than my boys). Further more, I don't see myself pure enough to officiate a wedding or other "divine" functions.

In the end, getting ordained on-line under the jurisdiction of the ULC might be a blessing after all. I could use it to learn more about religion as a whole and perhaps be a better Christian.

"Ordination is the personal calling of an individual, by God, to enter into the ministry, usually in a church leadership role capacity. Because they say that God, and not any man or organization, directs people to go into ministry."
http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/255-legality-of-online-ordinations?template=themonastery

Ironically this ordination took place on the eve of me coming church -- FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) to be precise -- for 104 weeks straight (two years). I know and understand that I might be an ordained minister (pastor) on paper as per the ULC, but I truly wish at times that I was a "real" pastor at a church like FAPC (a place I've learned to consider my spiritual home for the past two years).

In all, I'm still confused (my cheap excuse) and a total charlatan (the truth). Now I must do the best of this situation and the opportunity to serve God and be a better person too (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/christian-in-word-not-in-action.html).

business of religion

When did religion become a BUSINESS? There's always something religious to buy, sell and/or trade -- not only one's faith (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/tough-sale-mean-business.html). Nowadays you can even buy credentials as a pastor to lead worship and to marry in some websites for about $20. This means anyone (including myself) can be "ordained" for about $20, less or FREE! With all this, how can we trust pastors and/or small churches? When did religion become a JOKE? The worst part in all this is that there are no regulations -- legal or religious (aside from withing a given denomination).

the political circus & God

When I was growing up (70's & 80's), religion didn't seem to be too important in politics. Nowadays it seems that it's too important to be religious for a politician.

Atheists, Theists, and Agnostics, Oh My!
http://www.debategod.org/members/debategod/blog/VIEW/00000002/00000075/Atheists-Theists-and-Agnostics-Oh-My.html

As of late, this has brought more questions of the religious beliefs of the man that America elected as a President. I don't believe he's Christian especially after canceling the National Day of Prayer (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/politically-incorrect-so-what-good-for.html).

Newsweek Poll: 24% Think Obama is a Muslim | Politics | Christianity Today.
http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctpolitics/2010/08/newsweek_poll_2.html

I'm not going to deny the importance that religion has in my political views as an adult. I want to know why this Christian nation's been destroyed by politicians and other individuals.

The GOP, Tea Party and other conservatives seem to be heterosexual men and women who call themselves believers (Abrahamic faiths). At the same time, democrats and liberals seem to be a mix of straight, gay, theists (believers), atheists, agnostics and those who commonly feel alienated especially foreigners (gullible virgins to the political propaganda machine).

Although these two political groups are like day and night, both groups tailor their political doctrine to different crowds and out of greed (power, money, sex, murder, war, etc) have corrupted and hurt this nation numerous times. In either case, being recognized as a theist (regardless of the corruption, sex or other scandals, lies, etc) has helped and made political careers.

From all the propaganda, lies and scandals, I'm a registered republican and have also supported the Tea Party and other conservative movements or agendas. Said the latter, I must point out that I've preferred conservatives for years even before coming back to the Church (late August 2008).

As a matter of fact, I'd vote for Sarah Palin if she decided to run for president in 2012 (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/2012.html). At the same time, the biggest ring leader of the political circus is Glenn Beck who complaints on a daily basis of what liberals are doing against this nation. Some (liberals especially) are even thinking the possibility of a Palin/Beck ticket -- as a form of mockery. Then again, behind every joke there's some truth and in this case possibly fear.

tough sale, mean business

We buy religion from church and then sell it to others. Second-hand religion is a tough (at times, mean) business.

It's toughest when selling faith with fire and brimstone -- emphasizing on the fires and horrors of hell. Yet many sell and others happily buy it this way. I can't understand why anyone would buy and sell his/her faith using fear as its currency.

Since figurative language might not be easily understood by some. We learn about God in church (building and/or congregation) and then teach it to others (usually one's children). The question now is why we learn about God to propagate our new-found faith whichever way we do.

Being negative about life to sell religion is like calling someone a stupid idiot, yet asking him/her to succeed in life. A negative doesn't bring a positive (-n != +n) and it's not absolute (-n != |n|).

One should be positive about religion (the Kingdom of God) and promote this positive aspect (the Glory of God) to others. One shouldn't run from the devil and ask God to rescue us. One should run to God and ask him welcome us.

sky walking with God

One of favorite movie sagas growing up was Star Wars (New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back & Return of The Jedi). In these movies, there's a close relation between what we understand as religion and The Force.

The concept that The Force is the combined force of all living creatures is similar to the belief in Krishna and Lectio Divina. In Star Wars, this same combined force has a dark (evil) side.

Darth Vader -- my favorite character -- is the representation of evil second only to the Emperor (what we could see as the devil). There's no one-character representation of good, God or heaven. The aspect of good is represented by the Jedi Order (sort of guardian angels with light sabers), in which Luke Skywalker is the main figure. In such scenario, Yoda could be seen as a prophet, master (not a lord) or holy man.

The whole formula of good against evil is as old as earth itself. In Star Wars, the Old Republic (good) protects itself from the Empire (evil). In real life, God protects us from the devil (sin and evil).

In the end of the Star Wars, the Emperor is destroyed and Darth Vader repents from his wrongdoings. Continuing my analogy, God will defeat or has defeated the devil. At the same time, evil the worse of sinners can become good and inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

on-line, on-line, on-line...

I love on-line resources -- whatever the topic. Since I here write about religion, I'd limit myself to Christian on-line resources.

One of my favorite sites is ibiblio (http://www.ibiblio.org/). This site has a great collection of religious books (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?primary=4), which don't only cover Christianity (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?second=7).

In Twitter, I found the page for Abort 73 (http://twitter.com/abort73), which is a Christian site against abortion (http://www.abort73.com/). This site asks pastors to include the topic of abortion in their studies and/or sermons (http://www.abort73.com/attn_student_pastors/).

I also made a list in my Twitter account for Christian pages (http://twitter.com/project05952381/christianity). This by no means is something set on stone, but rather what I've found as useful (ChristianNewsUpdates, http://twitter.com/Christ_News) or funny at times (The PresbyCat, http://twitter.com/ThePresbyCat). My list may merely be a recommendation to anyone interested.

Needless to say, Facebook has lots of pages for Christian sites, organizations, churches, ministries and so on. From these pages, I'd recommend the page for the FAPC Outreach Ministry (http://www.facebook.com/FAPCOutreach), which I helped with and has made an impact in my life.

Of course, there are also Christian sites like CBN (http://www.cbn.com/) and Bible Gateway (http://www.biblegateway.com/), which don't need heavy promotion from social networks to have heavy traffic. At the same time, non-Christian sites are also very useful like Krishna (http://www.krishna.com/) that I like.

As a disclaimer, I must emphasize that I don't endorse or get paid for promoting any site that I mention in this blog and/or any other article that I may write. I'm also not responsible for any content on any of these websites. Said all this, I can and will delete any information and/or links that fails to comply with my opinion or terms of use by Blogger.

changes

The word "change" can mean many things. For some, it might be the a transition or alteration (noun, transitive verb). For those of us who like good music, it might simply be the David Bowie (http://www.davidbowie.com/) song. For a person with a mental disorder, it means chaos brought by the unknown or difference of a specific order/pattern especially asymmetry.



I suffer every time there's a change of those things that I SHOULD OR WANT TO HAVE CONTROL OVER. It's hard to allow someone or something take charge of these things and/or conditions.

Maybe this is why religion's important for an individual with a mental disorder for its predetermined order. Even its chaos is controlled in some church environments, like laughing and applauding. It's especially important for me to follow a set order of worship -- as long as I can understand what's going on. As I told my friend Neca, I like controlled chaos after going to what I considered a long and disorganized service at an exclusive church uptown (fairly closed to outsiders).

without the spirit

Common ideology and theology can be tricky and sometimes hard to accept to say the least.

"Civilization is static unless there is spiritual movement. The soul moves the body, and the living body moves the world. We are concerned about the body, but we have no knowledge of the spirit that is moving that body. Without the spirit, the body is motionless, or dead."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

After reading this quote of one of my favorite books, most would think that the author of such book is some sort of Judeo-Christian theologian, philosopher or at least writer. The use of the word "spirit" is so loose in religion that it may refer to the Holy Spirit (Christianity), the spirit of God, a person's soul as a synonym, a ghost or other life force. Hence a Christian might conclude that the author refers to the Holy Spirit. We could understand it as, "Without the [Holy Spirit], the body is motionless, or dead."

The text above is actually from my favorite book on Krishna -- "Science of Self Realization" by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (http://www.iskcon.org/).

The concept of the Godhead is shared by many religions. It was actually reading this book that I understood that all living creatures exist to accomplish a common will of God.

"We living entities, being parts and parcels of God, are dutybound to serve Him."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

This common concept explains our function in God's creation. Of course, there are other details in Krishna that don't apply to the three Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam). Hence I'm not interested to talk about them here.

At the same time, in the same book we can see the common belief that we must accept God in our lives.

"God is there, and we can see Him at every moment. If we refuse to see God in our life, then He will be present before us as cruel death. If we do not choose to see Him in one feature, we will see Him in another."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Once again, it may feel confusing to understand that these quotes that I'm using here are Krishna -- a religion that we -- Christians -- tend to see as Pagan or even ungodly. Of course, at the end of the day there's only one God and we -- humans -- have given Him different names. Then again, Christianity may be derived from the same core concepts of a common ancient and forgotten religion or mere group of beliefs. This latter can be highly rejected by many, but understood by those who aren't too blind or stubborn.

politics & God, pt 2

In the past couple of months, I've joined The Tea Party (http://www.teapartypatriots.org/). I've also started to follow more conservative media.



Maybe there's a much stronger relation between conservative/republican politics and Christianity than I originally though (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/politics-god.html). Then again I might have joined this conservative/religion bandwagon without noticing it.

Anyway I've noticed that politics is getting crazy as of late with the increasing disapproval of this president that we have right now. I'm glad I didn't vote for this guy. Just look at Twitter and the hash tag #TPP, for example.

not good for your brain!

Taking five little words that my friend George wrote to me last night when I told him that I've "been going to church for 97 weeks straight."

George simply responded, "not good for your brain!"

For a person born into an Italian and Catholic family, his mind's very closed to religion.

It doesn't surprise me. Many people see religion as a waste of time or the incorrect way to God. I've asked many friends and relatives about going to church. They often ask me why they should considering that he/she IS A GOOD PERSON.