so alone in my journey

Many people (some who should be backing me up) don't believe that I'm looking for God. They see me as a demon making up a charade. Since my mental condition is like living with my own worse enemy in my head, I've been less than good person at times. Now being medicated with antipsychotics, I try to find peace in my head and soul. Of course these people doubt my intentions and even criticize me. Well I've learned not to care. I've always thought of myself as being alone. So alone in this journey I'd be wondering if I'm worthy to be in God's grace.