Tuesday, August 17, 2010

no idea what to do

One thing that truly drives me crazy about having attention deficit disorder (ADD) is getting bored much too easily. Sometimes I spend hours trying to find out what to do. For example, deciding what to have for lunch can take my full lunch hour, in which I'd rather bring something from home. Hence I often do things impulsively (first thing that pops in my mind) to avoid thinking -- the excessive thinking.

Music does stop me from thinking uncontrollably as I can analyze the music, lyrics and the art in such. I always (99.8% of the time) have music on even when I'm reading just to block out the outside world. Unfortunately this morning the battery of my MP3 player has no charge.

As I'm writing this entry, I need to concentrate in order not to let my mind wander. Too many ideas flood my mind that I can't develop at least one single constant idea properly. I can't even play Klondike (Solitaire) to kill time during my 45-minute subway commute (close to two hours by bus) since I'm distracted. I don't feel like writing (poetry, prose or other material) or reading an ebook or two. I don't feel like writing anything spiritual (Christian). Hence I'm here merely putting my random ideas down, typing them on my BlackBerry as I look around observing the behavior of strangers in the train bound by the ties of norms and society.