bad Christian boy

As a Christian, one must live with a pure a heart and renounce all sins. Needless to say, I haven't achieved this and I'm not sure if I ever could. I've done (not extremely) bad things in my life and some I still do. Everyday I fight to tame the demons in my head as I drown them with many pills every morning (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-if-my-whole-life-were-merely-dream.html). Nonetheless I still refer to myself as a Christian (not a Catholic anymore, Protestant perhaps; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/03/catholic-or-presbyterian.html), go to church every Sunday, became a member of the church, served (helped) in the church, had my children baptized (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-seven-months-later.html), try to be a good person and even became an ordained minister early this month (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html).