my first child, an adult child

My oldest son's nineteen and has finished high school. My boy's an adult now. I still remember holding him in my arms at two or three in the morning singing him a lullaby that I wrote for him.

"You don't need to cry, my baby [...]
You don't need to cry ever again,
As your daddy will take your pain away."

- all rights reserved, 1991 (edited)

Now he's an adult, a young adult, with a girlfriend and a life ahead. It just feels weird.

Having divorced my son's mother has kept him away from me. I haven't been by his side for some of his most important moments like his first words.

As much as I miss him with all my life, I admit not being the best father for him (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/worst-father-ever-me-maybe.html). As I've stated many times, I love my child and he's the only who can judge me for my faults affecting him.