starting over: pizza diet, the diet of the (un)holy

During some of my toughest times (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/starting-over.html), I could only afford a slice or two of pizza and large cup of soda at most. Eating a piece of flat bread with tomato sauce and cheese with carbonated water made me lose lots of weight. Surprisingly I was healthy (thanks God).

Sometimes the worst of times brings the best of something although I'm not sure what. All I know is that it could have been much worse. Maybe that positive "thing" could have been much more if I had been going to a good church to maintain my mind and soul. Maybe it was a call that I might have failed or a test of endurance that I excelled in.

starting over

The whole idea of starting anew penniless scares most people. It's an old and beaten idea that makes me fairly uncomfortable. I've gone through it several times in my adult life and I've got no plans to go through it again (1991, 1993, 1995 & 2003).

Then again, the idea of moving to a new home or getting a new job can be seen as starting a new life. This is how I feel with my recent move to a new apartment and after changing banks. It's a new me -- at least with the same job, same debts, same little money left over from paycheck to paycheck, same old problems and fears.

Of course, the idea of starting over and becoming a truly good person does sound attracting, but I often fall back to my old self. It's hard to unlearn bad habits and be a better person. Maybe I need to hang out much more time in church.