Wednesday, December 8, 2010

rants: like an orphan

Sometimes I wonder if having no relationship with my father (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html) feels like being an orphan. Then again an orphan would most likely remember his/her parent(s) with some level of love and good memories.

In these cruel days of worries (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html), I wonder if I'd feel any better by telling him that his grandchild had to spend a night at the hospital merely three blocks away from he lives, but he wouldn't care. After all, he didn't care before as he dared kicking my sick son (two at the time) out to the streets like a dog (horrible expression since no dog ever deserves such abuse).

I admit that I might have never been the child he wanted. After all, I've never been a sports fan or a good child (trouble maker, strong temper, etc), shared his beliefs (politics, society, sleeping with as many women as possible, behavior and attitude especially to my two sisters and brother, etc) and even called him when he lies (lawyer). Then again, he also dared to say that maybe I wasn't his son to several people except to my face making him such a coward.

Once again, I conclude that my father's not worth my time, effort and forgiveness. He betrayed me and dared to betray my sick child. Needless to say (type), I'd never forgive him for his offensive actions against me and my children.