yet another Christian publication

A writer likes to write regardless the size of the audience even when not paid (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/writing-commuting-writing-some-more.html). Maybe this is the excuse that drives a writer to work on his/her project and as many others as possible -- like my friends Renee (http://www.devotionaldiva.com/) and Alece (http://www.gritandglory.com/) as well as some of the guys in #Tworship (http://twitter.com/search?q=#worship) writing material for various publications (print, on-line, etc) all the time.

About a year ago, I tried to become a freelance writer for one of the bigger Christian magazines in the US. When I was given the outline, I preferred not to pursue it again. Needless to say (type), this experience might influenced my decision to stop reading the publication (unknowingly at the time).

Right now I'm trying to get a gig writing and/or taking pictures for a local Christian publication. It all started when I made a comment about a website to the person in charge (web master, administrator, etc). I pushed the idea once again and I'm having an "interview" with this person in a week and a half. Ironically enough, earlier this year, I tried to get a small gig as an editor at this same local publication, but somehow the project just fell apart.

If this new project comes about, it'd be something exciting to get my hands dirty with. The whole experience of writing for someone else will be different from all I've worked on before and most likely rewarding.

moving: finally getting TV service connected

After living a month in my new apartment (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/no-internet-no-tv.html), I finally had TV service connected this morning. It's taken a month to get this service installed properly and finally running.

It was a painful month without my favorite shows. Other than channel 31.2 (Qubo, http:www.qubo.com/) and 13.1 (PBS, http://www.pbs.org/) as well as a handful of comedies (mostly re-runs, syndicated), over-the-air (OTA) television programming's pathetically boring in my sole opinion. Of course, ATSC makes things worse if the signal isn't strong enough. At least, an old NTSC signal could fail and at least displayed a weak and/or distorted b/w image.

Then again, it could've been much worse. At least, I was able to watch some material that I'd recorded on my DVR and lots of movies on-line -- the latter being the second best thing to do.

Now I only have to connect my DVR to the DSL modem/router, which aren't close to one another (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-so-much-to.html). It either means running about 50 feet of CAT-5 making the apartment look fairly shabby ($25 to $40), getting a proprietary 802.11 adapter ($65) or using power line communication ($70; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_line_communication). I'm still not sure what I'll do.

no internet + no tv = tired all the time

I've been tired as of late. Since I moved two weeks ago (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/moving.html), I still haven't got the internet and TV service connected (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/no-internet-no-tv.html).

The internet company messed my account having the wrong address on record. Now I need to cancel my account and open a new one.

At the same time, the satellite service (TV) hasn't been connected. The technicians don't have the proper experience and don't known how to do the wiring coming from the roof through the walls.

So far, it's the worst moving experience that I've ever had. Ironically the new apartment's right across the hall from the old one. How difficult can the new set-up be.

Since I've got no TV (other than old recordings in my TiVo) and no internet in the apartment, I keep cleaning and fixing things in this apartment to avoid getting bored. I'm literally exhausted.

no internet & no tv

I moved a week ago and I still don't have internet access or TV service.
Let's just say that I'M NOT IN A GOOD MOOD.
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/moving.html

moving

Refer to http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/uninterested.html.


SATURDAY 2010/11/06

09:50 - got keys to new apartment

09:55 - found out gas service in the new apartment had been shut off so no hot water, no heat, no gas to cook till Monday

10:00 - had breakfast; started moving into new apartment; didn't take medications all day

17:00 - took a shower; to continue moving on Sunday

20:00 - went to sleep


SUNDAY 2010/11/07

07:00 - woke up to my son fuming that DSL & phone service had been disconnected in old apartment, no DSL & phone service in new apartment either; all no DirecTV till Tuesday

07:15 - continued moving our stuff

08:45 - had breakfast; took medications

09:30 - showered to go to church

10:00 - took the subway to church

10:40 - arrived at church, had some coffee (second cup of the day) and piece of pound cake, entered the sanctuary & went to help at the audio console

12:30 - service over, took subway back

13:00 - continued moving

18:00 - had some Chinese noodles with fried tofu

20:00 - finished cleaning the floors the old apartment

22:15 - finished moving, smelling & tired; went out to get a cup of coffee (third cup) & other groceries

22:30 - took a shower

22:45 - tried to sleep; no idea when I did fall asleep


MONDAY 2010/11/08

05:15 - dismissed my wake-up alarm

05:45 - got up, all sore & tired with backache, took shower; took my medications, no breakfast yet

06:30 - took subway to go to work

08:00 - going to start working

08:30 - going to have breakfast


* nasty, lots of work to simply move from apartment to another a mere twenty feet away

uninterested

Every time I've ever moved to a new apartment, I've felt as if I was starting a new life. This weekend I'm moving and I should most likely be excited, but I'm not. I rather feel dull and uninterested -- yet not depressed. It'd just be another weekend that I won't get to sleep or rest and by Monday I'd be sleeping in a different habitat.

Whatever it's in my head right now might only be described as a feeling of NOTHINGNESS (not WORTHLESSNESS), of having no interest in anything. Regardless what this feeling really is, it's plagued me for the past two weeks or so. I haven't even really watched the movies that I've rented from Netflix or TV for that matter -- well other than Sherlock (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/sherlock-holmes.html) and Jerry Springer (http://www.jerryspringertv.com/). I've rather slept, listened to lots of music, written lots of material and read whatever MOBI and PRC files in my BlackBerry.

It's as if my life had stood still while seeing others go through their lives. I'm not sure what I might be missing right now. At least, I feel good when writing or playing with my children -- a mere handful of minutes spread through out the day.

Several times in the past, I've felt a void that no drugs or religion have been able to fulfill (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/oh-mercy-oh-god-happy-pill.html). I'm not sure if this void's the same nothingness that I feel right now. If it were, I know that my faith has usually filled that sort of void.

Then again it might just be my medication taking my joy away (bad side effect), not only my anger and anxiety (BPD & OCD). In the end, I'm walking through life as the undead (zombie) from a bad science fiction movie with no feeling or care.

playing mahjong (again)

Although I write out of need and from discipline (no so-called inspiration), I've been playing Mahjong (my favorite game; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/mahjong.html) on my BlackBerry. The game's got nothing to do with religion, but it's a form to discipline to see possible future moves on the board -- similar in some level to chess but much more fun (to me at least). If you're wondering why I'm writing this entry then, writing this merely takes five to ten minutes of my commute (6:42AM) while each game of Mahjong may last as much or more depending on the complexity of the board.

Mahjong

I finally decided to pay for a game that I truly like for my BlackBerry. I bought Aces Mahjong (http://www.concretesoftware.com/blackberry/mahjong.shtml), a version of my favorite game.

I've played this game on MS Windows (http://www.microsoft.com/windows/) under the name Taipei and then a port of the Kubuntu version, Kutuntu (http://www.kubuntu.org/), Ubuntu (http://www.ubuntu.com/) and a variety of phones and/or hand-held devices. I'm so addicted (for a lack of a better word) to this game. Hopefully I'll find time to write again.

no idea what to do

One thing that truly drives me crazy about having attention deficit disorder (ADD) is getting bored much too easily. Sometimes I spend hours trying to find out what to do. For example, deciding what to have for lunch can take my full lunch hour, in which I'd rather bring something from home. Hence I often do things impulsively (first thing that pops in my mind) to avoid thinking -- the excessive thinking.

Music does stop me from thinking uncontrollably as I can analyze the music, lyrics and the art in such. I always (99.8% of the time) have music on even when I'm reading just to block out the outside world. Unfortunately this morning the battery of my MP3 player has no charge.

As I'm writing this entry, I need to concentrate in order not to let my mind wander. Too many ideas flood my mind that I can't develop at least one single constant idea properly. I can't even play Klondike (Solitaire) to kill time during my 45-minute subway commute (close to two hours by bus) since I'm distracted. I don't feel like writing (poetry, prose or other material) or reading an ebook or two. I don't feel like writing anything spiritual (Christian). Hence I'm here merely putting my random ideas down, typing them on my BlackBerry as I look around observing the behavior of strangers in the train bound by the ties of norms and society.

writing, commuting, writing some more

As most people in NYC, I use public transport to go places -- especially when going to and back from work. During my commute, I enjoy my time of solitude to listen to music (rock) and either read or write.

As of late, I've been writing lots of material on several topics (religion especially). As a matter of fact, lots of the material in this blog has been written during my commute using my assigned BlackBerry. Said the latter, I usually end up with 5 to 10 drafts at a time -- an average of two hours of work each. As a matter of fact, I wrote this entry last Friday while returning from the DMV and I still have several drafts in my phone that I'm working on. As I mentioned, I do enjoy my time alone as I examine my innermost beliefs.

* picture taken from Flickr
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3169/2616382183_dd2eb8cab8.jpg