rants: fire & brimstone

According to the program "Gates of Hell" on the History Channel, different societies have believed that the entrance to hell's here on earth -- emphasizing on the three-tier belief adopted by Christianity that Heaven's above us (sky), earth's where we live and hell's underneath us (magma, center of earth).

One thing that emphasized on this two-hour program's that Christianity's based lots of its traditions (scaring, converting people, etc) in the concept of damnation (fire, punishment in the flesh, eternal suffering, etc; yet psychological torture hardly mentioned).

I've got no doubt that hell exists. I believe that I've gone through the horror of hell many times in my life and come back just to feel them many times again (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/as-my-soul-ran-away-at-night-every.html).

Nonetheless I don't think it's a place underneath the earth's crust. I believe that it's a spiritual place where souls are tortured.

what little faith I've got (today)...

I don't feel the same faith I had about a year ago. I've got lots of doubts about this belief system we call Christianity, its Jewish heritage and anything referred to as divine. Nonetheless I nominated myself for the position of deacon at church this past week. To my surprise, this morning someone asked me if he could nominate me too. Could it be that I'm worthy of some level of religious trust (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/me-sore-loser.html)?

the "Don't Walk By!" campaign

I'm posting some information that I received this morning, which the author gladly accepted my request to post it.

Don't Walk By is a campaign run by a partnership of faith-based ministries called The Rescue Alliance. On five consecutive Saturdays (January 8 through February 5), teams of volunteers will walk through different parts of Manhattan in an effort to engage people who may need a hot meal, shower or bed for the night. In addition to the street outreach effort, volunteers are also needed to greet guests, prepare or serve meals, sort through clothing, and assist in other ways at the host church for each of the evenings.

To read more details about the campaign or to volunteer on one of the remaining four Saturdays, please visit http://dontwalkby.org/main/how-to-help/.

If you would like to ask questions of someone from FAPC who has participated in this outreach effort, please contact outreach@fapc.org.

Street outreach volunteers are especially needed for Feb. 5.

walking by a Lutheran church: a little friendly confrontation

Yesterday I walked by the same Lutheran church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/walking-by-lutheran-church.html) as its small congregation was getting ready for service. I felt weird walking by and looking in through its large glass windows. At some point, I'd considered going to this church for at least one service, but all I can say is that some people can't handle a little friendly confrontation discussing differences in secondary Christian beliefs and/or practices. In the end, I've opted not to visit this church (at least for the time being), to remain curious and to simply continue going to FAPC as originally planned. Said all this, I guess I must emphasize on the following.

1. The clergy in that Lutheran church were welcoming, seemed honest and offered me a place to worship. My comments are by no means an insult or other level of offense to the clergy of such church and/or the church itself.
2. I do respect the ideology of the Lutheran Church although I didn't quite agree with all of it (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-born-dead-in.html).
3. I also respect all material written to God, from God, for God by any group of Christians. Of course, this by no means forces me to agree with it all or any of it at all.

denominational & non-denominational: ditching denominations

On Twitter (where I get most of my religious news), Lawrence Wilson @LawrenceWilson posted a link to the following.

"At the same time mainstream denominations lose thousands of members per year, churches such as Crosspoint are growing rapidly — 15 percent of all U.S. churches identified themselves as nondenominational this year, up from 5 percent a decade ago. A third dropped out of major denominations at some point."

More churchgoers ditch their denominations
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110101/NEWS01/101010318/More-churchgoers-ditch-their-denominations

Considering that denominations are labels for common secondaries beliefs, most of us have left the churches that we grew up in (Catholic in my case) and found a more comfortable environment (truer to oneself) to worship God. Definitely from my own experience, I found in FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) that truer spiritual home for me to be able to worship God.

"Denominations share theological, organizational and legal ties. They send out missionaries; build colleges, seminaries and hospitals; and fund pension plans for pastors."

More churchgoers ditch their denominations
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110101/NEWS01/101010318/More-churchgoers-ditch-their-denominations

At the same time, some Christians opt to lose its ties completely from denominations. These Christians don't identify themselves with secondary doctrines of a specific denomination or simply refuse to be labeled.

On a personal level, I prefer a denominational environment where I know what to expect in a service -- a fixed pattern. I just opted to go to another church.

yet another Christian publication

A writer likes to write regardless the size of the audience even when not paid (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/writing-commuting-writing-some-more.html). Maybe this is the excuse that drives a writer to work on his/her project and as many others as possible -- like my friends Renee (http://www.devotionaldiva.com/) and Alece (http://www.gritandglory.com/) as well as some of the guys in #Tworship (http://twitter.com/search?q=#worship) writing material for various publications (print, on-line, etc) all the time.

About a year ago, I tried to become a freelance writer for one of the bigger Christian magazines in the US. When I was given the outline, I preferred not to pursue it again. Needless to say (type), this experience might influenced my decision to stop reading the publication (unknowingly at the time).

Right now I'm trying to get a gig writing and/or taking pictures for a local Christian publication. It all started when I made a comment about a website to the person in charge (web master, administrator, etc). I pushed the idea once again and I'm having an "interview" with this person in a week and a half. Ironically enough, earlier this year, I tried to get a small gig as an editor at this same local publication, but somehow the project just fell apart.

If this new project comes about, it'd be something exciting to get my hands dirty with. The whole experience of writing for someone else will be different from all I've worked on before and most likely rewarding.

the Book of Psalms: Psalter

This morning I got The 1979 US Book of Common Prayer (http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bcp/bcp.htm) in PDF in order to read the section on the Book of Psalms (Psalter) as per the recommendation of a minister. Immediately being such a geek (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/being-geek-and-christian.html), I made a 639 KB PRC file (electronic book) to read on my mobile using MobiPocket. To no one's surprise, I'm not too eager to read such book. If reading the Psalms is so bloody important for me to do, I'd just read them from any of the translations and/or versions of the Bible that I've got.

I guess my desperation to get this book was merely to convert the PDF to PRC. Maybe I'm too much of a geek (sciences, music, etc) that I keep thinking and over-analyzing everything -- hence failing to have an open mind to be a "real" Christian. Could it be that I'm too stupidly smart for my own good? Then again, I could simply be stupid and lack patience and faith.

My over all lack of interest to read this book is by no means an act of disrespect to this book and/or the ideas expressed in it, those who wrote it and/or updated it, its history and/or its relation to the Church of England, the Anglican Church and/or anyone else involved with such book. I might just be avoiding such a long and strict reading based on the words of man. Then again, I could still be stupid and lack patience and faith.

John 1:1-14

This is one part of the Gospels that the pastors at church repeated through out the different Christmas services (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/going-to-church-in-rotten-mood.html).

"1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 The same was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.
7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.
8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.
10 He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.
11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father), full of grace and truth."
- John 1:1-14

I guess that, if someone repeats it many times, you'll think about its meaning.

1. At the beginning, we only had the Word of God, his teachings and prophesies.
2. The Word became flesh in the body of Jesus, the Christ, to fulfill the prophesies.
3. John the Baptist came to teach about the Word, the Light and the coming of God.
4. Jesus presented himself as God incarnate. He was accepted by some and rejected by the rest.

The coming of God to earth in the flesh of man (Jesus) is the true meaning of Christmas, which we often forget or avoid to remember.

ordained, three months later

Three months after being ordained by the Universal Life Church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html), my little faith's of course still tested. Maybe it'll be for the rest of my life for accepting this responsibility. My problem's that I'm not sure what I'm doing or what to really do. I'm glad the Universal Life Church website has a guide that someone like can definitely use (http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/12-guide-to-divinity). Of course, all this means absolutely nothing I can't even help my own son with prayer and my pains (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-my-dying-son.html). Maybe I'm just a sham (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/02/me-me-always-me.html).

Jupiter, the star of Bethlehem

very interesting, well what if?

The Star of Bethlehem: Was it Jupiter?
http://news.discovery.com/space/the-star-of-bethlehem-was-it-jupiter.html

"Between Sept. 3 B.C. and May 2 B.C. there were three conjunctions (on Sept. 14, 3 B.C., Feb. 17, 2 B.C. and May 8, 2 B.C.) where Jupiter passed close to the star Regulus (the brightest star in the constellation Leo). This rare sequence of events would have looked very strange to those familiar with the night sky. [...]

The Three Wise Men, thought by many to have been zoroastrianist priests (who were also renowned astrologers) might have noticed this strange motion and considered it to be a 'sign.'"

http://www.nasa.gov/worldbook/jupiter_worldbook.html

Christian individualism

Christianity -- as most religions -- is a social expression of love and worship to the Godhead. Nonetheless, at times, we don't want to be surrounded by other humans and/or other creatures for that matter. Hence we remain as individuals -- away from society, away from others with our faith in one hand and doubting pains in the other. As odd as this concept (personal point of view) may seem, I've done the latter several, especially as I was looking for my faith (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). In this personal search, I've found God several times especially sharing my faith and lack of with friends I've made in church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-church-friends-unexpected-fellowship.html) and others in and outside the Church environment. Considering this last statement, I wonder if I'd feel as much faith as I've got right now (so immensely little, broken & in doubt) if I were going to another church. I honestly think it could be much less (if any spiritual change if any at all) going somewhere else. Hence I thank the fellows at FAPC for giving me a chance to grow spiritually (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/open-letter-to-my-friends-86-weeks.html), not merely intellectually knowing facts about Christianity (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/denominational-non-denominational.html) and its comparison to other faith systems (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/without-spirit.html & http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/quarreling-siblings.html).

the Spirit of Christmas

According to my mother, last night (21st) was the celebration of the coming of the Spirit of Christmas. I don't know what this is although she's told me about this celebration for the past decade or so. This sounds to me like another Neo-Pagan Christmas ritual that coincides with the winter solstice (20th).

Neo-Pagan Christianity

Especially in the environment that I grew up in, Pagan traditions co-existed with Christian (Catholic) ones. I don't simply refer to celebrating the birth of the Christ in December -- whether the Baby Jesus was born in December or some other month as contested by scholars as a possible alteration of the date by the early Church.

There were many superstitions that were incorporated into the Christian (maybe more into the Catholic) practice and doctrine. Maybe this is the true way that religion gets transformed through out time to accommodate Pagan beliefs of the masses.

Whatever the case, the practice of Christianity that I've seen forming around me is somewhat of a Neo-Pagan/Christian doctrine, in which people believe in God but don't trust the Church all the while doing as they please. For example, there are Christians who drink and/or do drugs, sleep around (recreational sex or looking for love) and/or refuse to go to any church (biggest group) all the while believing in God and even praying. This behavior would've been seen as HERETIC and even SATANIC several years ago (before I was born, most likely, great thing about being born after the hippie era). Nowadays this over all behavior's become part of most cultures in the Western world and hence tolerated by the Church.

As a matter of fact, most (99.8%) of the people I know (single, never married, separated or divorced) have been in a sexual relation with someone at least once at some point of their lives. Most of these people are good law-abiding citizens, good people in all. Of course, about more than half of this group have no desire to go to a church of any sort, but still consider themselves Christians or religious (myself included for about thirteen years).

reincarnation

Many believe in the idea that a soul's inhabited a previous body (life) and that the soul will occupy another body once the present body dies -- whether or not there's a waiting period between lives. In such belief, the soul carries the sins from the past life to the next one and must purge these sins somehow.

Depending who you talk to on the topic of reincarnation, there are two secondary beliefs. Some believe that these life cycles occur a specific number of times; by the end of which, we're saved or condemned. At the same time, others are more generous as for them these cycles continue till the soul's purged all its sins (Krishna belief of achieving enlightenment).

This beliefs exist outside a predefined religion as members of a religion might believe or ignore the concept of reincarnation.

If all the latter were true, this could explain why, from the moment we're born, some of us seem to start paying back for sins that we might have done in a previous life. If so, how would our understanding of God be affected? Could God have us been born to merely continue a life that we're not aware of and pay for sins that we can't recall? It'd be a cruel god. Of course, we, as Christians, want and need to believe in a just God. Hence most Christians would see reincarnation as an idea that can't exists within our understanding of Christianity.

There's a little twist in this belief. Some people believe that the next life in human form (most likely, if it were true), but some believe you could return as a lower animal.

On a personal level, I don't know what to think. The idea of reincarnation isn't quite my cup of tea, but at times I wonder if it were true. Who could I've been? Who'd I be in a future life? Note that I refer to coming back in human form and not as a lower animal form. Then again, if I were to come back as a lower animal, I'd rather be a lion or an eagle. Of course, this is just too twisted and not really part of the Christian doctrine.

not taking my medications

There are days that I forget to take my medications or simply don't. These are the days that I wonder about true nature. I simply act different, what I'd describe as dark and evil. Could this mean that I take medicine to simply drown my anger, hate and over all the real me -- to alter my (evil) nature? Am I better off dead? Is it me being a Christian a mere farce?

religion as a system of superstition

Risking the possibility of being labeled a heretic or worse, religion can be seen as a form of system of superstition by an outsider since we often do things or avoid doing others in order to please God. The thought that some action done or avoided has control over of life or fate could easily be laughed at.

For example, in the Catholic doctrine, which I grew up with, if a person fails to go to church on a Sunday, he/she has automatically committed a mortal sin and fallen off God's Grace. This means that, in the case of that person's death, he/she would be cast to hell or the purgatory -- mortal sin. I grew up with this "superstition" engraved in my soul.

empty inside (again)

I go to church every Sunday (at least, currently not going during the week), take Bible study classes before worship, help here and there whenever possible (taken pictures and video of events, currently doing live sound reinforcement, etc), enjoy Sunday worship, take notes and do some soul-searching, open myself to the Word of God and go to small groups after worship. It's at least a four-hour experience every Sunday. Nonetheless I feel empty inside.

"As much as I come to church every Sunday, I once again feel empty inside -- lack of faith."
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/another-sunday-08012010.html

"So I hadn't gone to church in so long, about 13 years. Something told me that I had to go back to church one way or another."
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html

"Is feeling too comfortable a bad Christian thing? Maybe it is."
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/01/15-weeks-later.html

"In all, I'm still confused (my cheap excuse) and a total charlatan (the truth)."
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html

I hope it's depression (BPD; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/search/label/depression) and not me losing my faith. It's been a roller coaster ride for the past two years with highs and deep lows. Maybe I'm not meant to be interested in or curious about religion. In such case, I'd be fighting once again my "evil" nature -- regardless how deeply embedded faith's in my psyche.

welcoming new members

Every church needs to be funded (electricity, gas, etc) and everyone working in a church needs to pay rent and bills (salaries, wages, etc). Hence a church relies on funds received from the congregation. This is perhaps the second reason why churches need members -- the main reason being a common faith and doctrine system.

These members are people who go to a particular church practically every Sunday, help cover costs and participate in various areas of the church willingly and expected to (myself included). This interpretation of what it means to be a member of a church might sound a bit harsh for some, but isn't this what it means to be a Christian in the first place?

Working with new members is often a strange and fondly interesting experience. New members sometimes don't know what to expect of the church (building, congregation, ministries, etc). When I've been asked to help welcoming new members, I've had to sit with them during breakfast (the day they're accepted and introduced as new members of the church) and give them a better idea what the church is and especially what it's not. Most importantly, being a member of a Christian congregation means being part of the Church and the household of God.

By the way, I want to point out that I'm fond of being a Christian and being a member of FAPC. I also thank this church for the opportunities it's given me to be part of the Church and be able serve God.

A message on People Living With Disabilities (ELCA)

As usual, I'm curious about the different groups in the Church. In the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) website (http://www.elca.org/), I found a paper on the responsibility of society and especially the Church to the disabled -- not limited to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America or any one denomination.

"Political rhetoric increasingly expresses the belief that the economic cost of providing accessibility or other means for enabling participation in society for people with disabilities is too high or not worth the benefit to society."

"A message on People Living With Disabilities"
http://www.elca.org/~/media/Images/Department%20for%20Studies/Disabilities/PeopleLivWithDisabl%20UnformattedAdoptedText.pdf

As much as we should protect and help the needy, this obligation shouldn't be out of pity, but rather out of the morality of being a Christian.

As I've mentioned before (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/prayer-for-disabled.html), I've advocated for the disabled for a while. As most advocates for the disabled, someone truly important to me is disabled and I'm that person's care giver.

It feels good to hear someone else say and write the same ideas I've had (quote above from ELCA) without the proper medium to protest. The only problem for many years has been that no one cares to listen about the poor quality of life that the disabled are left with.

worst father ever, me (maybe)

Then again (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/worst-father-ever-me.html), sometimes I think I'm so bad of a father (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html). Only time and God would tell.