Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Monday, December 20, 2010
rants: project? what project?
This blog (project) -- which was supposed to be mostly a log of my spiritual life while searching for God -- has become a small log of my general/godless life including my pains, worries and whatever other issues going around in my mind. Well in some way, I guess this blog's still a brief and opaque window into my twisted and troubled soul.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
love, sex & tattoos: kinky fucking love
I guess that if I want to finish these three ideas -- love, sex and tattoos.
Hence here's the conclusion -- my ideas of love, how I feel love.
I decided to change this post. If you care to see what I had posted here, which I had posted about five days ago, go to http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/something-i-wrote-on-someone-elses-blog.html.
Love in general, this human emotion referred to as love's been difficult for me have and share. From an early age, I wondered if my parents really loved me regardless how often I was told so, but my father dared to prove me wrong (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html).The only persons who loved me without a doubt were my maternal grandparents (both dead) who taught me the core Christian values that I hold dearly to.
When most of us hear the word "love," we think of a relationship between a man and a woman. In my case, love came early (first grade, age 5). Each year I was in "love" with a different girl. Junior high school was no exception and neither was high school, but I was always the ugly duckling or the kid who couldn't afford gifts and crap as much as other kids. College was different as I literally had girls to choose from. It was a shocking surprise, but I enjoyed this change. I gained confidence, but this hallow confidence's not love. Women come and go, yet remaining lonesome for no one to care or hold. Love's a nasty feeling. Being in love's much worse.
The only place where I've been able find love's in the presence of my children. They're my life and soul. I'd be with them till the day I die, but first I need to leave them a future that can take care of them financially.
Ironically enough, as a bad cosmic joke, life is merely sick and twisted forms of LOVE, SEX and TATTOOS.
- love, sex & tattoos: ink
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/love-sex-tattoos-ink.html - love, sex & tattoos: sex junkie
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/love-sex-tattoos-sex-junkie.html
Hence here's the conclusion -- my ideas of love, how I feel love.
I decided to change this post. If you care to see what I had posted here, which I had posted about five days ago, go to http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/something-i-wrote-on-someone-elses-blog.html.
Love in general, this human emotion referred to as love's been difficult for me have and share. From an early age, I wondered if my parents really loved me regardless how often I was told so, but my father dared to prove me wrong (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html).The only persons who loved me without a doubt were my maternal grandparents (both dead) who taught me the core Christian values that I hold dearly to.
When most of us hear the word "love," we think of a relationship between a man and a woman. In my case, love came early (first grade, age 5). Each year I was in "love" with a different girl. Junior high school was no exception and neither was high school, but I was always the ugly duckling or the kid who couldn't afford gifts and crap as much as other kids. College was different as I literally had girls to choose from. It was a shocking surprise, but I enjoyed this change. I gained confidence, but this hallow confidence's not love. Women come and go, yet remaining lonesome for no one to care or hold. Love's a nasty feeling. Being in love's much worse.
The only place where I've been able find love's in the presence of my children. They're my life and soul. I'd be with them till the day I die, but first I need to leave them a future that can take care of them financially.
Ironically enough, as a bad cosmic joke, life is merely sick and twisted forms of LOVE, SEX and TATTOOS.
Friday, November 19, 2010
something I wrote on someone else's blog
Love is simple -- unconditional and conditional, true and false, real and a sham, part-time and full-time.
- It's that unconditional love that a parent has for his/her child.
- It's that unconditional love of that of child to a parent -- at least we hope so.
- It's a chemical reaction in the brain that triggers the need of being satisfied by a person, the sexual attraction to that person and remaining with that person. It's the CONDITIONAL love between two people as long as that satisfaction is met. Visit http://bigthink.com/ideas/18776 (Helen Fisher Explains Why Casual Sex Doesn't Exist, Big Think).
- Being this blog part of the church, the answer would be the love of God for us -- as the father (God) loves his children (us) unconditionally when we make him happy, cry or angry. See number 1.
- In the case of loving others, my take would be on being satisfied by something that they can do for us. See number 3.
Love for others (a stranger worse off) is never and will never be unconditional because of our greed, selfishness, needs to be satisfied, anger and everything else that makes us hunters (humans) especially in NYC. See number 1.
Friday, March 26, 2010
pornography in social networks
It still surprises how easily men and women in social networks for adults only can freely share pictures of themselves naked, comment on one another, flirt with each other explicitly and even have sex with these strangers regardless of sexual orientation including homosexual acts for fun, pleasure and/or mere experimentation.
A good example is my friend Rose who has had sex once or more times with at least twenty (20) different men whom she had met in several of these sites. Perhaps she'd kill me when or if she reads this. Then again she might just let me get away with this. After all, I'm not using her full name and it it could simply refer to any other girl named Rose doing the same.
Now I'm not going to play the role of a saint or sorts. When it comes to sex, I enjoy pornographic material and have even worked on an adult website about seven years ago. I recognize that pornography and many sexual behaviors that I engage in as an addiction from a psychopathological point of view or at least sinful -- the total opposite of what it means to be Christian. Perhaps befriending homosexuals, transsexuals and transgenders might fall in this list. Said the latter, what am I doing on this blog writing about religion and faith? Am I such a filthy hypocrite or simply stupid? I'll let you decide for now and I'll find out later. Anyway I know that I'm trying to set myself straight even if it means exposing myself as the broken person who I've become through out the years.
A good example is my friend Rose who has had sex once or more times with at least twenty (20) different men whom she had met in several of these sites. Perhaps she'd kill me when or if she reads this. Then again she might just let me get away with this. After all, I'm not using her full name and it it could simply refer to any other girl named Rose doing the same.
Now I'm not going to play the role of a saint or sorts. When it comes to sex, I enjoy pornographic material and have even worked on an adult website about seven years ago. I recognize that pornography and many sexual behaviors that I engage in as an addiction from a psychopathological point of view or at least sinful -- the total opposite of what it means to be Christian. Perhaps befriending homosexuals, transsexuals and transgenders might fall in this list. Said the latter, what am I doing on this blog writing about religion and faith? Am I such a filthy hypocrite or simply stupid? I'll let you decide for now and I'll find out later. Anyway I know that I'm trying to set myself straight even if it means exposing myself as the broken person who I've become through out the years.
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