rants: project? what project?

This blog (project) -- which was supposed to be mostly a log of my spiritual life while searching for God -- has become a small log of my general/godless life including my pains, worries and whatever other issues going around in my mind. Well in some way, I guess this blog's still a brief and opaque window into my twisted and troubled soul.

wasted & godless, vices vs faith

During high school I drank every weekend (Friday night to Sunday morning; at times from Thursday night). Back then I was wasted and godless. Anyway I quit heavy drinking during my first or second year of college.

Vices are hard to quit regardless how much faith one might truly have (not say or think to have). Said this, I admit to have various vices -- no smoking, no drinking any more and never drugs -- that don't go away or that I rather haven't had the will to purge off my system.

I guess I'm no better than other Christian hypocrites, who are only "religious" on Sunday mornings. Hence I'm a sham. Now the question is if I'll always be sham. I'm working hard not to be a farce.

from CBN, UK Hospital Trust Proposes Bible Ban

Out of tradidion, out of faith, Bibles have been a stable of relief in hospitals. If one's dying, one has fear of God and desperately wants to be on God's good side. It's human nature, reaction and need for survival. Now there are news of a hospital in the UK saying that the dying may not have confort in the Word of God(http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2010/July/UK-Hospital-Trust-Proposes-Bible-Ban-/). Now this is ridiculous!

politics & God, pt 2

In the past couple of months, I've joined The Tea Party (http://www.teapartypatriots.org/). I've also started to follow more conservative media.



Maybe there's a much stronger relation between conservative/republican politics and Christianity than I originally though (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/politics-god.html). Then again I might have joined this conservative/religion bandwagon without noticing it.

Anyway I've noticed that politics is getting crazy as of late with the increasing disapproval of this president that we have right now. I'm glad I didn't vote for this guy. Just look at Twitter and the hash tag #TPP, for example.

politics & God

Since I started to read more and more about religion, I've seen a close relation between conservative ideology and core Christian beliefs. It seems that every conservative -- Republican (http://www.gop.com/), Tea Party (http://www.teapartypatriots.org/) or other group -- mentions God and/or being Christian at least once in his/her career.

One of the better examples is Sarah Palin (http://www.sarahpac.com/). On her bid for vice-president of the US (2008), she stood up as a Christian and a family woman. As a former governor of Alaska, she was able to talk about what she had done for her state, but her faith and family values were her biggest assets.

Most conservatives have little to no problem at all mentioning God or Christianity. It's become the norm. Now this is rather strange nowadays in this nation that has become so uncomfortable about its Christian heritage.

Another good example is Sara Evans (http://www.saraevans.com/) -- one of favorite country singers -- who's been fairly outspoken about her political (conservative) views and her faith.

As a matter of fact, many (if not all) country singers are Christian and have mentioned God in at least one song. Perhaps the belief in God is what make them conservative and fairly vocal about politics.

On a personal note (much too shared by conservatives), I'm proud (ironically pride being a deadly sin) to be a Christian on this godless land and a conservative (registered Republican). As I've mentioned before, being Christian by no means that I'm perfect yet continue to strife for that perfection.

Of course, I must point out that believing in God doesn't make a person good. His/her heart and actions make him/her good.

gulf spill, day 66; time to pray!?

It's been almost 70 days that the Gulf of Mexico has been constantly destroyed by petroleum and human greed. In a nation with one of the best technologies on the world, not stopping this leak is pathetically embarrassing (trying to keep my political ideology in check). At the same time, in a nation where praying is close to unlawful, the governors of some of the states most affected are asking for a prayer.

"The governors of Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas, and the Lt. Governor of Florida issued proclamations this week calling their citizens to pray for a solution that stops the leak."
Governors Declare Day of Prayer for Gulf Spill
http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/news/28812-governors-declare-day-of-prayer-for-gulf-spill

It may sound absurd nowadays, but this is how this nation started. Early Americans believed in God and with their faith built a great nation.

"Throughout our history, Alabamians have humbly turned to God to ask for His blessings and to hold us steady during times of struggle. This is certainly one of those times."
-- Alabama Gov. Bob Riley (06/23/2010)

What happened to the nation of those who dared and risked it all in order to win and/or accomplish some "impossible" goal all the while praying to the Lord? Have we become too proud to ask God for guidance and/or help? Perhaps we've simply betrayed the Christian nature of this nation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/end-of-this-great-christian-nation-pt-3.html). Let's dare to pray and ask God for help!

the end of this great Christian nation, pt 3; oil spill, day 47

This blog is not about politics or the environment. Nonetheless the environment is important as a creation of God and as the home that we live in. It's day 47 of the oil spill and still no one seems to really care (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/oil-spill-day-38.html).

What happened to the country where people had courage based on Christian values (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation-pt-2.html)? Is this really the destruction of this nation and the world as a whole in the hands of uncaring politicians? This would be a disgusting way to lose our country and our world as a whole allowing oil pollution destroy the ecosystem thanks to some godless idiots in the government.

my life

Listening to The Ramones, I remember a better part of my life, when life itself was easier. About this same time, I had very little need for church and at times even the Godhead.

Being away from church for about 13 years doesn't mean that I didn't think about the Godhead. I took time to read and study about different religions and faiths -- my favorites being Krishna and Islam. In 2008, I returned to the Church, but first I needed to know what church and/or congregation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html) would be the best option for me.

As much as I want to be a good Christian properly speaking, there's still a deep and dark side of my soul with violence and anger. At the same time, as much as I want to be a good person, I know that I have to take medications for the chemical imbalance in the brain to simply bear the pressure of life itself. In all, I'm merely willing and confused soul in a broken body.

Ironically I question myself for the purpose of this blog. Is this a constant rant (most likely), a waste of time (highly likely), a way to help others (most likely not), a way to brag about myself (definitely not), a way to be close to God (maybe), an on-line church (no way) or perhaps a form of ministry (highly doubtful)? I don't have a real answer. I wish it was all were true except for bragging, of course.

At the same time, there are many aspects in my life that I try to achieve or hold on to -- other than computer science (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/being-geek-and-christian.html).

1. I'm interested in photography as an artistic medium. I shoot photos whenever I have a good excuse to do so -- currently for FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-york-concerns-new-york.html).

2. I've also done my share of poetry, prose and music. I'm fairly happy with what I've accomplished specially in poetry. At the same time, I've been my own worse critic on my prose for the past thirty years or so. Nonetheless I always find an excuse to write -- like this blog for example.

3. Learning languages (for example, German; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/gott-ist-nein-tot.html), societies and other human behaviors. As a matter of fact, I drive some of my friends crazy with my interpretations of the human animal behavior (especially Leia, sorry kiddo).

4. One area that I'm fairly bad at is being a father. Aside from providing and protecting them, I do fail in the social interaction. Maybe I'm too much of a geek narrowing my socialization to computers, television, arts and church. I know I must improve in this field. On a much more positive note, with my three boys (ages 18, 8 and 2), I guess that I've finally learned to think that my life hasn't been a total waste of time.

After all this long log entry, I must accept that at times I'm a godless Christian and that I must really find Christ in order to live my broken life peacefully with myself.

as music saved my soul (the dance of life), pt 2

As I mentioned before, music saved or was used to save me (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/as-music-saved-my-soul-dance-of-life.html). Music's always been an important part of my life. My favorite music genre is rock & roll (especially hard rock) covering a huge variety of sub-genres and styles (modes, instruments from guitars to polyphonic synthesizers, influences, tempo changes, etc). Although this music genre is still considered negative and even ungodly by many people (religious people especially), rock & roll has had religious overtones since its beginnings in the 1950's. This tradition has continued to be true for close to six decades.

Several artists recognize that they often fail to do what God wants us to do and they ask God for mercy in their music. Although these artists may not be like Stryper (http://www.stryper.com/) worshiping God on every song and giving out Bibles in every concert, they do ask for God's help and mercy while holding on to their bad-boy persona.

Right after rock & roll, I like country music, from which rockabilly and then rock & roll came to be. As with rock & roll, with little to no doubt, country music has been very religious since the American South is still Christian country.

Nonetheless these are two forms of having one's faith in one's art and/or feelings. At least on a personal level, I prefer being the sinner constantly asking for God's help and mercy.

Needless to say, most rock & roll and country music alike also deal with humanity, pains, joy, love, sex, heartbreak, drinking, drugs, plenty of sinful acts and many not so-godly topics. Nonetheless within the sin and depravity, many artists do have and have shown deep religious beliefs and/or have God in their lives.

What bothers me is that nowadays expressing one's faith is not politically/socially correct. What happened to the nation founded under deep Christian beliefs where a one can't openly mention God without hurting someone else? Is this really the end of this great Christian nation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation.html; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation-pt-2.html) where one could share one's religious beliefs in one's art -- especially music?

the end of this great Christian nation, pt 2

I mentioned early this week that the US is a Christian nation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation.html. This nation was founded on Christian principles and the Constitution was based on the Book of Order http://www.pcusa.org/oga/publications/boo07-09.pdf.

Now it seems that Governor Sara Palin is in trouble for using such remark.

Palin Draws Heat over 'Christian Nation' Remarks

Cuba, 31 years later

After going through some old articles, I read an article how Cuba is becoming a Christian nation once again (http://www.pcusa.org/pcnews/2010/10280.htm). The Cuban constitution changed the description of the nation from atheist (hostile, government rejection to religion) to secular (neutral, government tolerance to the practice of religion) on 04/02/1990.

With this change, several Christian groups of various denominations have started or continued now without persecution to teach others about God as if this was a savage, Godless and/or pagan land. These missionaries are rebuilding the religious infrastructure of the country that was practically on hold for about three decades -- about two generations of Cubans brought up or at least coaxed via propaganda in the idea that man's supreme above all and/or there's no God -- since the Communist takeover in 1959. Although humans unlearn ideas and habits slowly and learn new ones even more slowly, Christian congregations seem to have been growing rapidly for the past two decades. It would take some more time for most of the population to find God once more.

This proves that humans need to believe in God -- not only to explain the unknown, but rather to cope with life itself. Perhaps the most important right anyone can have is practicing the religious and/or spiritual beliefs that he/she prefers.