too much for my own good

Maybe I analyze religion, its beliefs and practices too much for my own good (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/nietzsche-vs-gott.html). Maybe my faith is based on the philosophy and sociology of Christianity more than just what my grandmother taught me as a child (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/remembering-my-grandmother.html). In the past almost two years that I've gone to church non-stop (08/2008 to now), I've been reading many more papers on Christianity much more than how much I used to (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/01/beginning-before-experiment-circa-2006.html). It makes me wonder if I'm a "real" Christian or merely a reader of theology or simple fool lying to myself. Well only time would tell.

Nietzsche vs Gott (God)

As much as I like Kant and Huxley, I'm deeply fascinated with Friedrich Nietzsche. His criticism on Christianity was and still is dangerous as in the quote below.

"The Christian is simply a Jew of the 'reformed' confession."
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist (1888)
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/19322

Maybe this is a reason or the only reason why his writings and ideology are highly recommended for anyone interested in theology and/or philosophy. In both, the philosopher was clearly trying understand and explain the social phenomenon that we know as religion (especially Judaism, Christianity & Islam) while pointing out the errors and lies in religious practices and/or beliefs.

In the quote above, he pointed out that Christianity has its roots in Judaism (same as Islam). In other words, Christianity is a mix of Judaism and the teachings that Jesus left us.

Said the latter, the differences between the three religions of Abraham (Judaism, Christianity & Islam) are similar. What he didn't explain is why followers of one religion sometimes fight with members of the others. Maybe it's mere sibling rivalry.

Anyway philosophy (especially that of Nietzsche) is exciting and fun even when it offends us or simply makes fun of us. It forces us to think and reevaluate our core beliefs and principles, which is important if we're to dare calling ourselves "real" Christians. In conclusion, Nietzsche, the biggest critic and enemy of religion, is perhaps the best professor of religion.

Gott ist NEIN tot! (part 3): death and resurrection of the incarnation of God

One major argument that many people have (non-Christians especially) is the death and resurrection of Jesus (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/god-vs-crucifix.html). These people (some friends of mine included here) ask how God could have died. They fail to understand that the incarnation (body) died and came back to life. In other words, Jesus never died (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/gott-ist-nein-tot-revisited.html).

This of course brings the argument of Christology. Is Jesus son of man (fully human) or son of God (fully God)? Give me a break! Jesus was fully human and fully God. Maybe this last concept is hard to understand for some people, but to me it's simple and clear.

Gott ist NEIN tot! (revisited)

One of my favorite writer (philosopher actually) is Nietzsche. As much as his material was always anti-Christian and anti-church, his material makes me analyze my deepest Christian beliefs.

One can learn from his ideologies and/or statements. See example below.

"Gott ist tot!"
(http://culteducassette.blogspot.com/2010/05/gott-ist-nein-tot.html)

With this statement, he pointed out how Christianity was corrupted, broken, fake and hence dead. The blame's clearly on us, Christians and on Christ.

To me Nietzsche is somewhat of a teacher making me think all the time and pointing out errors in the Church -- its politics, lies, deception and other negative aspects that are the result of human greed, misunderstanding or simple stupidity.

In all, regardless how broken the Church is and how greedy humanity can be or become, GOD IS STILL AND EVER HAS BEEN ALIVE!

my life

Listening to The Ramones, I remember a better part of my life, when life itself was easier. About this same time, I had very little need for church and at times even the Godhead.

Being away from church for about 13 years doesn't mean that I didn't think about the Godhead. I took time to read and study about different religions and faiths -- my favorites being Krishna and Islam. In 2008, I returned to the Church, but first I needed to know what church and/or congregation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html) would be the best option for me.

As much as I want to be a good Christian properly speaking, there's still a deep and dark side of my soul with violence and anger. At the same time, as much as I want to be a good person, I know that I have to take medications for the chemical imbalance in the brain to simply bear the pressure of life itself. In all, I'm merely willing and confused soul in a broken body.

Ironically I question myself for the purpose of this blog. Is this a constant rant (most likely), a waste of time (highly likely), a way to help others (most likely not), a way to brag about myself (definitely not), a way to be close to God (maybe), an on-line church (no way) or perhaps a form of ministry (highly doubtful)? I don't have a real answer. I wish it was all were true except for bragging, of course.

At the same time, there are many aspects in my life that I try to achieve or hold on to -- other than computer science (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/being-geek-and-christian.html).

1. I'm interested in photography as an artistic medium. I shoot photos whenever I have a good excuse to do so -- currently for FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-york-concerns-new-york.html).

2. I've also done my share of poetry, prose and music. I'm fairly happy with what I've accomplished specially in poetry. At the same time, I've been my own worse critic on my prose for the past thirty years or so. Nonetheless I always find an excuse to write -- like this blog for example.

3. Learning languages (for example, German; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/gott-ist-nein-tot.html), societies and other human behaviors. As a matter of fact, I drive some of my friends crazy with my interpretations of the human animal behavior (especially Leia, sorry kiddo).

4. One area that I'm fairly bad at is being a father. Aside from providing and protecting them, I do fail in the social interaction. Maybe I'm too much of a geek narrowing my socialization to computers, television, arts and church. I know I must improve in this field. On a much more positive note, with my three boys (ages 18, 8 and 2), I guess that I've finally learned to think that my life hasn't been a total waste of time.

After all this long log entry, I must accept that at times I'm a godless Christian and that I must really find Christ in order to live my broken life peacefully with myself.

Gott ist NEIN tot!

"Gott ist [NEIN] tot!"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_is_dead

Nietzsche said that God was dead.

As much as I like Nietzsche, I must correct him. God is alive.