Christian individualism

Christianity -- as most religions -- is a social expression of love and worship to the Godhead. Nonetheless, at times, we don't want to be surrounded by other humans and/or other creatures for that matter. Hence we remain as individuals -- away from society, away from others with our faith in one hand and doubting pains in the other. As odd as this concept (personal point of view) may seem, I've done the latter several, especially as I was looking for my faith (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). In this personal search, I've found God several times especially sharing my faith and lack of with friends I've made in church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-church-friends-unexpected-fellowship.html) and others in and outside the Church environment. Considering this last statement, I wonder if I'd feel as much faith as I've got right now (so immensely little, broken & in doubt) if I were going to another church. I honestly think it could be much less (if any spiritual change if any at all) going somewhere else. Hence I thank the fellows at FAPC for giving me a chance to grow spiritually (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/open-letter-to-my-friends-86-weeks.html), not merely intellectually knowing facts about Christianity (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/denominational-non-denominational.html) and its comparison to other faith systems (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/without-spirit.html & http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/quarreling-siblings.html).

reincarnation

Many believe in the idea that a soul's inhabited a previous body (life) and that the soul will occupy another body once the present body dies -- whether or not there's a waiting period between lives. In such belief, the soul carries the sins from the past life to the next one and must purge these sins somehow.

Depending who you talk to on the topic of reincarnation, there are two secondary beliefs. Some believe that these life cycles occur a specific number of times; by the end of which, we're saved or condemned. At the same time, others are more generous as for them these cycles continue till the soul's purged all its sins (Krishna belief of achieving enlightenment).

This beliefs exist outside a predefined religion as members of a religion might believe or ignore the concept of reincarnation.

If all the latter were true, this could explain why, from the moment we're born, some of us seem to start paying back for sins that we might have done in a previous life. If so, how would our understanding of God be affected? Could God have us been born to merely continue a life that we're not aware of and pay for sins that we can't recall? It'd be a cruel god. Of course, we, as Christians, want and need to believe in a just God. Hence most Christians would see reincarnation as an idea that can't exists within our understanding of Christianity.

There's a little twist in this belief. Some people believe that the next life in human form (most likely, if it were true), but some believe you could return as a lower animal.

On a personal level, I don't know what to think. The idea of reincarnation isn't quite my cup of tea, but at times I wonder if it were true. Who could I've been? Who'd I be in a future life? Note that I refer to coming back in human form and not as a lower animal form. Then again, if I were to come back as a lower animal, I'd rather be a lion or an eagle. Of course, this is just too twisted and not really part of the Christian doctrine.

being a good Christian vs simply being good

You don't have to be a Christian to be a good person. There are many good individuals helping others, the environment, animals or other noble causes who are NOT Christian -- Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and some plainly gnostic. These other individuals have their own (religious or otherwise) reasons to be good citizens in this world and beyond. Needless to say, some of these people are even our dearest friends -- especially if living in NYC.

We -- as Christians -- are supposed to be good all the time as a way to be true ambassadors of God on earth and beyond our limited human capacity of understanding. The best practice to achieve this (or so I've been told numerous times) is to pray, talk to God, ask for favors, be true servants of God and do everything on God's behalf. As someone told me, you should start the day with a prayer, live that prayer through out the day and end the day with a prayer.

"There are many who recommend opening the day with a prayer, and then continuing to live that prayer. Or, put another way, to do what we do -- even, say, washing the dishes, riding the subway -- in a meditative sort of gift to God... Then closing each day with even a simple word of gratitude."
http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/then-how-much-more-response.html

Of course, this is something that many Christians fail to do or care not to do at times (myself included in the second group too many times). Said all this, if we dare to call ourselves CHRISTIANS, we've got a higher obligation to be good as we do good in God's name.

animals, better than men

Considering the fact that humans are also animals yet above other animals thanks to our intelligence, irrational animals are kinder and much more honest (hence better). Even the most vicious beast's more sincere. It doesn't pretend to like you. It just wants to eat you alive or simply kill you (no gimmicks, no lies).

We consider ourselves much better since we possess a better (or sole, depending whom you ask) capacity to think. This conscience defines what humans are in general giving us the capacity to have a spirit and/or soul. We're just too selfish thinking that humans are the only creatures who'd inherit Heaven.

In Krishna, all living creatures fulfill an obligation -- the will of the Godhead. Hence each creature depends on all others for a common purpose or divine plan. This belief makes much more sense than all the crap we hear everywhere else.

Well where am I going with all this? For many years, I've been kinder to irrational animals rather than to humans (rational animals). Perhaps this is why I compare those humans I love to monkeys, dogs or other faithful animals.

In part, my respect and love to animals is why I'm a vegetarian. The other part's my health and unhealthy digestive system, which was the primary reason yet has become secondary.

By the way, my nine-year-old rode a horse for the first time yesterday. He enjoyed it. He also seemed to appreciate the service this animal offered him (calmness, freedom, being one with nature, etc).

hacking the source code of faith

In a perfect world or rather in a perfect religion, the perfect faith should have the complete and correct understanding who God (whatever name) truly is. In my sole opinion, all religions have this concept partially right and fairly wrong.

Judaism, Christianity and Islam teach us that there's only ONE GOD. At the same time, Christianity also teaches us that God has three persons or rather interpretations (Trinity) -- not three gods in one.

Krishna (my favorite religion or set of beliefs to read about) teaches us that all creatures on earth have some specific purpose to comply with the will of the Godhead. It also gives us the belief of cleansing of the soul by correcting our previous mistakes (repentance, atonement of sins).

Pagan beliefs also tell us that God is in nature as an undeniable a part of nature. This is the same belief of Lectio Divina, in which all creation's an extension of God.

What'd the perfect faith be like? It'd teach us (1) that there's ONE GOD all around us, all knowing, all mighty, (2) that all of his creation or lack of in the cosmos is an extension of God and (3) that this creation works together for a greater good or purpose. We could even see creation as an object in the palm of God's hand. Hence we're one with God and in God.

two years later: such a confused man that I am or have simply become

So what am I?

1. I was raised Catholic, but always questioned the Church and its traditions and rites. Questioning the Catholic church would immediately brand me as a heretic or Protestant.

2. I took a break from church (not religion) for about fourteen (14) years. I read about different religions and faiths including Krishna.

3. I checked out the Methodist and Anglican church (2008), but I didn't feel comfortable there.

4. I've gone to a Presbyterian (Protestant) church for two years (since 2008). After a lot of soul searching, I even became a member of that church (congregation and denominational records).

5. Now I've become an "ordained minister" (pastor) in the Universal Life Church. Nonetheless I still go to the same Presbyterian church.

At the end of the day, what am I? At least, I know that I'm a Christian.

on-line, on-line, on-line...

I love on-line resources -- whatever the topic. Since I here write about religion, I'd limit myself to Christian on-line resources.

One of my favorite sites is ibiblio (http://www.ibiblio.org/). This site has a great collection of religious books (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?primary=4), which don't only cover Christianity (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?second=7).

In Twitter, I found the page for Abort 73 (http://twitter.com/abort73), which is a Christian site against abortion (http://www.abort73.com/). This site asks pastors to include the topic of abortion in their studies and/or sermons (http://www.abort73.com/attn_student_pastors/).

I also made a list in my Twitter account for Christian pages (http://twitter.com/project05952381/christianity). This by no means is something set on stone, but rather what I've found as useful (ChristianNewsUpdates, http://twitter.com/Christ_News) or funny at times (The PresbyCat, http://twitter.com/ThePresbyCat). My list may merely be a recommendation to anyone interested.

Needless to say, Facebook has lots of pages for Christian sites, organizations, churches, ministries and so on. From these pages, I'd recommend the page for the FAPC Outreach Ministry (http://www.facebook.com/FAPCOutreach), which I helped with and has made an impact in my life.

Of course, there are also Christian sites like CBN (http://www.cbn.com/) and Bible Gateway (http://www.biblegateway.com/), which don't need heavy promotion from social networks to have heavy traffic. At the same time, non-Christian sites are also very useful like Krishna (http://www.krishna.com/) that I like.

As a disclaimer, I must emphasize that I don't endorse or get paid for promoting any site that I mention in this blog and/or any other article that I may write. I'm also not responsible for any content on any of these websites. Said all this, I can and will delete any information and/or links that fails to comply with my opinion or terms of use by Blogger.

without the spirit

Common ideology and theology can be tricky and sometimes hard to accept to say the least.

"Civilization is static unless there is spiritual movement. The soul moves the body, and the living body moves the world. We are concerned about the body, but we have no knowledge of the spirit that is moving that body. Without the spirit, the body is motionless, or dead."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

After reading this quote of one of my favorite books, most would think that the author of such book is some sort of Judeo-Christian theologian, philosopher or at least writer. The use of the word "spirit" is so loose in religion that it may refer to the Holy Spirit (Christianity), the spirit of God, a person's soul as a synonym, a ghost or other life force. Hence a Christian might conclude that the author refers to the Holy Spirit. We could understand it as, "Without the [Holy Spirit], the body is motionless, or dead."

The text above is actually from my favorite book on Krishna -- "Science of Self Realization" by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (http://www.iskcon.org/).

The concept of the Godhead is shared by many religions. It was actually reading this book that I understood that all living creatures exist to accomplish a common will of God.

"We living entities, being parts and parcels of God, are dutybound to serve Him."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

This common concept explains our function in God's creation. Of course, there are other details in Krishna that don't apply to the three Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam). Hence I'm not interested to talk about them here.

At the same time, in the same book we can see the common belief that we must accept God in our lives.

"God is there, and we can see Him at every moment. If we refuse to see God in our life, then He will be present before us as cruel death. If we do not choose to see Him in one feature, we will see Him in another."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Once again, it may feel confusing to understand that these quotes that I'm using here are Krishna -- a religion that we -- Christians -- tend to see as Pagan or even ungodly. Of course, at the end of the day there's only one God and we -- humans -- have given Him different names. Then again, Christianity may be derived from the same core concepts of a common ancient and forgotten religion or mere group of beliefs. This latter can be highly rejected by many, but understood by those who aren't too blind or stubborn.

my life

Listening to The Ramones, I remember a better part of my life, when life itself was easier. About this same time, I had very little need for church and at times even the Godhead.

Being away from church for about 13 years doesn't mean that I didn't think about the Godhead. I took time to read and study about different religions and faiths -- my favorites being Krishna and Islam. In 2008, I returned to the Church, but first I needed to know what church and/or congregation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html) would be the best option for me.

As much as I want to be a good Christian properly speaking, there's still a deep and dark side of my soul with violence and anger. At the same time, as much as I want to be a good person, I know that I have to take medications for the chemical imbalance in the brain to simply bear the pressure of life itself. In all, I'm merely willing and confused soul in a broken body.

Ironically I question myself for the purpose of this blog. Is this a constant rant (most likely), a waste of time (highly likely), a way to help others (most likely not), a way to brag about myself (definitely not), a way to be close to God (maybe), an on-line church (no way) or perhaps a form of ministry (highly doubtful)? I don't have a real answer. I wish it was all were true except for bragging, of course.

At the same time, there are many aspects in my life that I try to achieve or hold on to -- other than computer science (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/being-geek-and-christian.html).

1. I'm interested in photography as an artistic medium. I shoot photos whenever I have a good excuse to do so -- currently for FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-york-concerns-new-york.html).

2. I've also done my share of poetry, prose and music. I'm fairly happy with what I've accomplished specially in poetry. At the same time, I've been my own worse critic on my prose for the past thirty years or so. Nonetheless I always find an excuse to write -- like this blog for example.

3. Learning languages (for example, German; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/gott-ist-nein-tot.html), societies and other human behaviors. As a matter of fact, I drive some of my friends crazy with my interpretations of the human animal behavior (especially Leia, sorry kiddo).

4. One area that I'm fairly bad at is being a father. Aside from providing and protecting them, I do fail in the social interaction. Maybe I'm too much of a geek narrowing my socialization to computers, television, arts and church. I know I must improve in this field. On a much more positive note, with my three boys (ages 18, 8 and 2), I guess that I've finally learned to think that my life hasn't been a total waste of time.

After all this long log entry, I must accept that at times I'm a godless Christian and that I must really find Christ in order to live my broken life peacefully with myself.

church as a social club & the Christian poser

in response to http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/22680

A church -- regardless of the religious background -- can be seen as a social club where different peoples can share their personal and unique as well as common "journey of faith" (an expression commonly used by Rev. Dr. Scott Black Johnston from FAPC; http://www.fapc.org/). Therefore the individuals who go to a specific church building or who are part of a specific congregation and/or religious group practice a common religious and/or denominational background and traditions hence knowing what to do and expect in such environment.

In comparison to a social club, a church building should house individuals both searching for God's grace and trying to emulate God helping those in need. The problem comes when individuals act like Christians in church, but continue being everything but in their daily lives. Going to church and/or posing as a Christian for others to contemplate and/or simply bragging to be a Christian doesn't make a given individual a Christian.

I can't say that I'm not in the latter category. I've fallen in it many times and continuously ask myself if I'm a real Christian or a mere poser. Maybe I'm just excessively curious about human behavior and how it's affected by religious beliefs (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Krishna, Buddhism, etc). Am I poser?

what I think about religion

I guess that religion will remain a strange factor in my life. I do enjoy pornography and other improper non-Christian behaviors, which I've been trying to avoid.

In the past several months, I've tried to avoid Catholicism. Surprisingly I went to an Episcopal church, All Saints, this past Sunday. Episcopalism is merely an extension of Catholicism and I found this past Sunday's service fairly uptight (just like a Catholic mass) without the freedom that Presbyterianism gives me.

I guess I'd become a member of the FAPC congregation after all. Maybe this why tomorrow I'll go to a group at FAPC on technology at 7pm. I'm so eager to do something at this church (like helping with the website). Perhaps I might merely be looking for some level of acceptance from my "peers." Perhaps I'm just getting "old" and I need some assurance that my life has had some meaning. Either way, I'd never felt this way for any church of any denomination. Does this mean that I'm a reformed Protestant now of some sort?

Living in NYC, one has as many faiths to chose from. Well I don't know what to think at this point. Yes, this was an experiment to find God in different ways (roads), but which is the right one for me? Should I also try Islam and Krishna in search of God regardless of the human name given to him (Jehovah, Allah, Krishna, Buddha, etc)? By the way, how can we be so sure that God is a man? I can't respond so many questions right now, but could I ever?

during those 13 years away from church

I learned or at least read about Islam, Judaism and even Krishna (http://www.krishna.com/). I've even supported different religions and groups like International Society for Krishna Consciousness or ISKCON (http://www.iskcon.com/). Well my friends and kin are of every possible religion and/or faith. For example, my mother follows teachings of guru Sai Baba (http://www.sathyasai.org/). My oldest son (a hardcore Catholic since a little boy) freaks out every time my mother makes a comment about this guru.