A dear friend of mine was nicknamed Wabbit from the Bugs Bunny cartoons while we worked at a broker firm about a decade ago. Since then its assets were sold and we were laid off (2001).
My friend Wabbit and I continue being good friends. She actually is the only friend whom I've got from that period of my life -- working at that company as a junior local area network (LAN) administrator.
Since we were laid off (a short ten-year span), she had to boys, separated, got married and had a beautiful baby girl. By the way, I always though she'd never get married or rather commit herself to a life-long relationship.
Now why am I mentioning my friend? Aside from being good friends in the good and bad times, she once mentioned that she was an ATHEIST although born and raised in a Roman Catholic family and traditions. She even told me not to ever talk to her about religion or faith. Nonetheless I made slight references regarding this forbidden topic once in a while. She had lots of patience with me.
About two weeks ago, she sent me a message saying that she had been thinking of me (oh boy, the horror). She told me then she had been looking at the PARISH to have her little girl BAPTIZED (great news). It seems that in the end, she had found her once-lost faith and I'm proud of her -- well after all her husband is an Irish Catholic.
Maybe I really had something to do with her change of heart. Then again she might have said this only to give me some credit and/or make me feel good about myself. Either way I'm proud my friend has seen the Light even if it were a clouded Light in her horizon.
Showing posts with label baptism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baptism. Show all posts
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
broken back, broken hope, broken faith... no God?
The government promises to be there for us when we're hurt with benefits, which are paid for in advance by our eternal tax contributions. The problem especially in NYC is that the system's corrupt.
Years ago I was unemployed (9/11, the bad economy and high unemployment that followed; 2001-03), sick and broken, about to be evicted (no money for rent), with a two-year-old diagnosed with some disease that no one really know or cares about on October 2003 (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/happy-9th-birthday-my-little-boy.html) and little money to eat. When I asked for my lawful-entitled benefits as an American citizen who had worked almost 20 years by that time, I was told that I couldn't get monetary aid (welfare, food stamps, SSI, etc) because I had no job. My lack of work was the reason why I had no money. It was a stupid chicken-and-the-egg situation to be subject to.
As I mentioned, the system's corrupt and much too often abused. Why does some lazy idiot who doesn't want to work get social benefits (cash money, vouchers for rent, food stamps and everything else that I've worked hard for) that I'm entitled to, yet denied to me and my sick child?
I even considered suicide for my family to collect some level of benefits, but I was worth nothing (no monetary compensation at all). How can a person hold on to hope, to faith, to life or to anything left at all? Where was God in all this?
By the end of 2003, I was homeless with a family and a sick child to support and take care of. At least, I was finally working, but it still hurt. I was time to rebuild and start again. At the same time, hope and faith on humanity were gone, striped from me.
It's been seven years since. I had to declare bankruptcy and have worked myself up of the pit from hell we had dwelt in. Surprisingly I still hold on to this senseless and empty faith that everything will be fine one of these days.
Was this all a test from God? If so, what was the reason or purpose of it all?
Was it all some sick joke for someone to entertain? If so, whom was it for?
Will I ever get my answers? In the meantime, I'm still rebuilding everything was robbed from me and my children -- especially my boy's health.
Where was God during these dark hours? Why did he let it (unemployment, my child's decaying health, eviction, homelessness, desperation, anxiety, pain, hopelessness, etc) happen -- worse of at the same time? Most importantly, why's my little boy been sick since?
Years ago I was unemployed (9/11, the bad economy and high unemployment that followed; 2001-03), sick and broken, about to be evicted (no money for rent), with a two-year-old diagnosed with some disease that no one really know or cares about on October 2003 (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/happy-9th-birthday-my-little-boy.html) and little money to eat. When I asked for my lawful-entitled benefits as an American citizen who had worked almost 20 years by that time, I was told that I couldn't get monetary aid (welfare, food stamps, SSI, etc) because I had no job. My lack of work was the reason why I had no money. It was a stupid chicken-and-the-egg situation to be subject to.
As I mentioned, the system's corrupt and much too often abused. Why does some lazy idiot who doesn't want to work get social benefits (cash money, vouchers for rent, food stamps and everything else that I've worked hard for) that I'm entitled to, yet denied to me and my sick child?
I even considered suicide for my family to collect some level of benefits, but I was worth nothing (no monetary compensation at all). How can a person hold on to hope, to faith, to life or to anything left at all? Where was God in all this?
By the end of 2003, I was homeless with a family and a sick child to support and take care of. At least, I was finally working, but it still hurt. I was time to rebuild and start again. At the same time, hope and faith on humanity were gone, striped from me.
It's been seven years since. I had to declare bankruptcy and have worked myself up of the pit from hell we had dwelt in. Surprisingly I still hold on to this senseless and empty faith that everything will be fine one of these days.
Was this all a test from God? If so, what was the reason or purpose of it all?
Was it all some sick joke for someone to entertain? If so, whom was it for?
Will I ever get my answers? In the meantime, I'm still rebuilding everything was robbed from me and my children -- especially my boy's health.
Where was God during these dark hours? Why did he let it (unemployment, my child's decaying health, eviction, homelessness, desperation, anxiety, pain, hopelessness, etc) happen -- worse of at the same time? Most importantly, why's my little boy been sick since?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
happy 9th birthday, my little boy, my sick child as you keep running against time
As I mentioned a little back ago (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-sick-child.html), my second child (9) has been sick most if not all of his life. It's been a constant race against time to find a cure for whatever he really has (diagnosed with this and that, yet still unknown and hence incurable) before he gets any older.
He deserves to live a "normal" life and enjoy a "normal" childhood. Needless to say, I'd give my life or my health for him to be healthy. If it were so easy, I'd have done it a while ago.
I guess I can only continue looking for the right doctor and the right therapy, reading about new cures and therapies while praying and holding to an empty faith. I often wonder if I've done something so bad that I must now pay with my little boy's health and life -- some twisted form of punishment that slowly robs my son's life.
The pain and desperation of seeing my little boy helplessly sick was one of reasons that brought me back to God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). If this was the reason for my child to be unhealthy (so many doctors, so many hospitals, so much medicine that has done more damage than good if any good at all), the purpose was fulfilled. Yet he's still plagued with medical conditions.
These past eight years or so have been hard to bear -- some days much more than others. I hope God gives me the strength not to lose my cool and be able to be the father my little boy needs.
At the end of the day, he'd fall asleep in my arms as he usually does and give me a hard time to go to school or therapy the following morning.
At the end of the day, I love my little boy and will take care of him even after I die -- making plans and preparations for something I wish I'd never have to rely on.
Then again perhaps I should take the following message from a dear friend of mine.
Nonetheless I just can't leave it in God's hands. I must try all possible solutions, therapies and/or cures. I just pray for God to guide me to the correct solution, therapy and cure. I know God will deliver, but I don't know when or what.
* Enjoy your birthday, my little monkey. Daddy loves you now and always.
He deserves to live a "normal" life and enjoy a "normal" childhood. Needless to say, I'd give my life or my health for him to be healthy. If it were so easy, I'd have done it a while ago.
I guess I can only continue looking for the right doctor and the right therapy, reading about new cures and therapies while praying and holding to an empty faith. I often wonder if I've done something so bad that I must now pay with my little boy's health and life -- some twisted form of punishment that slowly robs my son's life.
The pain and desperation of seeing my little boy helplessly sick was one of reasons that brought me back to God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). If this was the reason for my child to be unhealthy (so many doctors, so many hospitals, so much medicine that has done more damage than good if any good at all), the purpose was fulfilled. Yet he's still plagued with medical conditions.
These past eight years or so have been hard to bear -- some days much more than others. I hope God gives me the strength not to lose my cool and be able to be the father my little boy needs.
"I have had patients of my own so well in hand that they could be turned at a moment's notice from impassioned prayer for a wife's or son's 'soul' to beating or insulting the real wife or son without a qualm."
CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
At the end of the day, he'd fall asleep in my arms as he usually does and give me a hard time to go to school or therapy the following morning.
At the end of the day, I love my little boy and will take care of him even after I die -- making plans and preparations for something I wish I'd never have to rely on.
Then again perhaps I should take the following message from a dear friend of mine.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
-- Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV
Nonetheless I just can't leave it in God's hands. I must try all possible solutions, therapies and/or cures. I just pray for God to guide me to the correct solution, therapy and cure. I know God will deliver, but I don't know when or what.
* Enjoy your birthday, my little monkey. Daddy loves you now and always.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
my sick child (happy fathers day)
Having and taking care of a child is difficult within itself. If the child is sick or handicapped, it's a much harder responsibility, but you gladly embrace it harder than your life itself.
My 8-year-old (9 next month) is sick and handicapped. It's been a roller coaster ride looking for a cure or the best therapy/care. Within his condition that has affected his nervous system and absorption of nutrients (similar to Celiac decease), there are several schools of though from conventional medications to trying to rebuild the damaged soft tissues (stomach, nerves, chemical reactions, etc).
Right now we're working with a doctor in Eastchester, about two hours away from where I live, who's helped my little boy in about eight months more than all these other doctors in the past eight years. If anyone's interested in getting touch with this doctor, contact me via Twitter (@project05952381).
It's been over eight years holding on to my faith on a cure and/or therapy that we keep looking. This blind faith that God would lead us to a cure and/or therapy for my little boy might be the reason why I started going back to church (whatever Christian denomination) and eventually opted for FAPC (http://www.fapc.prg/). I even had my youngest boys baptized at FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/05/two-baptisms-two-wet-ones-to-go-please.html).
In all, I keep holding on to my blind and at times senseless faith. I know God will deliver, but I wish I knew when and what. In all, everyone has a cross to bear and mine is my child, my beautiful sick child.
My 8-year-old (9 next month) is sick and handicapped. It's been a roller coaster ride looking for a cure or the best therapy/care. Within his condition that has affected his nervous system and absorption of nutrients (similar to Celiac decease), there are several schools of though from conventional medications to trying to rebuild the damaged soft tissues (stomach, nerves, chemical reactions, etc).
Right now we're working with a doctor in Eastchester, about two hours away from where I live, who's helped my little boy in about eight months more than all these other doctors in the past eight years. If anyone's interested in getting touch with this doctor, contact me via Twitter (@project05952381).
It's been over eight years holding on to my faith on a cure and/or therapy that we keep looking. This blind faith that God would lead us to a cure and/or therapy for my little boy might be the reason why I started going back to church (whatever Christian denomination) and eventually opted for FAPC (http://www.fapc.prg/). I even had my youngest boys baptized at FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/05/two-baptisms-two-wet-ones-to-go-please.html).
In all, I keep holding on to my blind and at times senseless faith. I know God will deliver, but I wish I knew when and what. In all, everyone has a cross to bear and mine is my child, my beautiful sick child.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
two baptisms, two wet ones to go please, pt.2
I'm having my two youngest boys baptized in late June. For the younger of the two (1), it'd be a regular baptism with the normal 40-minute preparation class earlier that week. For the older one (7), I might have to do a reaffirmation of faith on his name. Well children are baptized as an extension of faith of the parents. Nonetheless I don't know what to expect. After all, my oldest child (17) was baptized in a Catholic (not Protestant, not Presbyterian no less) church with water and oil and I can't recall any prior preparation.
Monday, April 27, 2009
two baptisms, two wet ones to go please
My little boys haven't been baptized yet. I'm in the process of finding out the proper procedure to get them baptized at FAPC. So far, I understand that at least one of the parents must be a member of the church (me) and that I've got to take a confirmation of faith in their name.
The sacrament of baptism (one of the two sacraments instructed in the Bible; the other being the Lord's Supper, performed on the first Sunday of every month) in the Presbyterian church and in most Protestant denominations is different than in the Catholic Church. I grew up with the belief that's best to have a child baptized as early as possible in his/her life to cleanse off the Original Sin (Adam and Eve for eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_sin). Therefore, if a baptized child were to die, the child would automatically be accepted into Heaven for being a pure soul (an angel, free from all sin). As a matter of fact, I was baptized less than month after being born, about the same time I almost died.
The sacrament of baptism (one of the two sacraments instructed in the Bible; the other being the Lord's Supper, performed on the first Sunday of every month) in the Presbyterian church and in most Protestant denominations is different than in the Catholic Church. I grew up with the belief that's best to have a child baptized as early as possible in his/her life to cleanse off the Original Sin (Adam and Eve for eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_sin). Therefore, if a baptized child were to die, the child would automatically be accepted into Heaven for being a pure soul (an angel, free from all sin). As a matter of fact, I was baptized less than month after being born, about the same time I almost died.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the day church goers get a smudge of black ashes on their foreheads. I'm still trying to understand all the reasons behind this tradition, which marks the beginning of Lent.
As I understand, the ashes are from last year's palms (Palm Sunday). Being smudged with ashes is a reminder that we were created from dirt (mud) and that we'll return to the dirt when we die. It's also seen as a reminder of the sacrament of baptism, in which we were named children of God. A third meaning is penitence for our sins.
Nonetheless last night I went to FAPC to get smudged with ashes. It was a weird and new experience for me to say the least. I had no idea what to say as the pastor put the ashes on my forehead with his right thumb. I think that he smiled at my ignorance.
As I understand, the ashes are from last year's palms (Palm Sunday). Being smudged with ashes is a reminder that we were created from dirt (mud) and that we'll return to the dirt when we die. It's also seen as a reminder of the sacrament of baptism, in which we were named children of God. A third meaning is penitence for our sins.
Nonetheless last night I went to FAPC to get smudged with ashes. It was a weird and new experience for me to say the least. I had no idea what to say as the pastor put the ashes on my forehead with his right thumb. I think that he smiled at my ignorance.
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