walking by a Lutheran church: a little friendly confrontation

Yesterday I walked by the same Lutheran church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/walking-by-lutheran-church.html) as its small congregation was getting ready for service. I felt weird walking by and looking in through its large glass windows. At some point, I'd considered going to this church for at least one service, but all I can say is that some people can't handle a little friendly confrontation discussing differences in secondary Christian beliefs and/or practices. In the end, I've opted not to visit this church (at least for the time being), to remain curious and to simply continue going to FAPC as originally planned. Said all this, I guess I must emphasize on the following.

1. The clergy in that Lutheran church were welcoming, seemed honest and offered me a place to worship. My comments are by no means an insult or other level of offense to the clergy of such church and/or the church itself.
2. I do respect the ideology of the Lutheran Church although I didn't quite agree with all of it (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-born-dead-in.html).
3. I also respect all material written to God, from God, for God by any group of Christians. Of course, this by no means forces me to agree with it all or any of it at all.

walking by a Lutheran church: born dead in sin

I'm still slowly reading "This We Believe" (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-this-we.html) while taking notes and highlighting key parts of the text. In any event, I just found a little something that bothers me.

"5. We believe that Adam and Eve lost their divine image when they yielded to the temptation of Satan and disobeyed God's command. This brought upon them the judgment of God: "You will surely die" (Genesis 2:17). Since that time all people are conceived and born in a sinful condition (Psalm 51:5) and are inclined only to evil (Genesis 8:21). "Flesh gives birth to flesh" (John 3:6). Since all people are by nature dead in sin and separated from God (Ephesians 2:1), they are unable to reconcile themselves to God by their own efforts and deeds."
http://www.wels.net/what-we-believe/statements-beliefs/this-we-believe/creation-man-and-sin

There are two schools of though on this regard.

1. One says that we're born in sin and hence evil by default. Therefore we need to break out of our human nature and flesh. This seems to be Lutheran perspective. Even if my interpretation were dead wrong, I don't like the whole fire and brimstone gimmick (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/tough-sale-mean-business.html).
2. In the other hand, the other school of thought teaches us that we're good by nature (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/many-faces-flavors-recipes-for.html) and we need to escape sin to be back with God. This is more likely the Presbyterian point of view. After all, I believe and want to believe in a loving God, not a vengeful God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-statement-of-faith-as-of-20100331-at.html). I just hope I'm not wrong.

As a disclaimer, I must emphasize that my opinion's no means a way or form of offense to anyone reading or not reading this or any text I've written.

walking by a Lutheran church: this we believe

As I mentioned before (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-no-930.html), I started reading "This We Believe" from the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod website (http://www.wels.net/). I'm including two quotes that have made me think what it means to be a "true" Christian. Of course, I might be wrong.

Although I've heard the concept that the Old Testament predicted the coming of Jesus many times before, the words in the following quote made this concept clearer to understand and believe.

"5. We believe that the entire Bible is Christ-centered. In the Old Testament God repeatedly promised a divine deliverer from sin, death, and hell. The New Testament proclaims that this promised deliverer has come in the person of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus himself says of the Old Testament, 'These are the Scriptures that testify about me' (John 5:39)."
http://www.wels.net/what-we-believe/statements-beliefs/this-we-believe/gods-revelation

Maybe I'm desperate to understand and find God that I'm too naive to be eagerly attracted to any likable text (not saying that such text could be wrong, as of yet). I just fail to question my beliefs at times. I also fail to remember that people are imperfect and that human understanding and comprehension are painfully limited.

Then again I should point out that the following quote also from "This We Believe" makes lots of sense. We should keep in mind that some books referred to as the "true" or "best" interpretation of the Bible aren't quite the Word of God. Some of these translations could be biased or simply erroneously false willingly or not.

"11. We believe that the original Hebrew text of the Old Testament and the Greek text of the New Testament are the inspired Word of God. Translations of the Hebrew and Greek that accurately reflect the meaning of the original text convey God's truth to people and can properly be called the Word of God."
http://www.wels.net/what-we-believe/statements-beliefs/this-we-believe/gods-revelation?page=0,1

Of course, we should admit and understand that it's hard to say which Bible's truer or better than another (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-bible-vs-your-bible.html). For the time being, I keep jumping from NRSV to KJV to WEB.

In all, the WELS website's got lots of good information to understand and reaffirm what it means to be a Christian. Nonetheless my curiosity doesn't mean that I'm planing to change churches any time soon. If there's one thing that I've learned and that's changed me, it's been the opportunity to be a servant of God by serving others. This last concept -- heavily driven into our minds at FAPC -- seems to be the truer meaning of being a Christian, at least to me within my limited humanoid understanding.

walking by a Lutheran church: no 9:30 service

I finally stepped inside a Lutheran church I walk by now and then. I wanted to finally accept the invitation (two emails so far) of one of the pastors in the church whom I had met weeks ago (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/walking-by-lutheran-church.html). I thought their service was going to be at their usual 9:30am, but today it was scheduled at 10:30am. I opted to excuse myself and left since I had no intention to miss worship at FAPC. As I've mentioned several times, I've got no intention of quitting FAPC, which has become my spiritual home on this earth. My interest in the Lutheran Church is mere curiosity in the differences in practices and doctrines between PC(USA) (http://www.pcusa.org/) and WELS (http://www.wels.net/), which this Lutheran church is associated to.

raised Catholic, yet going to a Presbyterian church

Although I was born and raised Catholic, I try to avoid everything that might be related to Catholicism. I was never fond of celibacy and saints while growing up. I rather thought this was a weird part of "religion" (the word that we all used when referring to Catholicism and/or Christianity). I'd also see every day men leading service (mass) without a robe like priests do and I didn't understand this. At the time, I thought that a priest should wear a robe and other men had no right to lead a service. Understanding Catholicism was difficult and getting used to Protestantism has been another difficult task. Maybe this is why I go to a Presbyterian church, which is similar to the Catholic tradition (service structure, church structure, robes, etc) yet so different too (sermon, Eucharist, female pastors, prayer, etc). I really don't know if I made a good decision quitting the Catholic church, but at least I know that it's brought me closer to God.

bad Christian boy

As a Christian, one must live with a pure a heart and renounce all sins. Needless to say, I haven't achieved this and I'm not sure if I ever could. I've done (not extremely) bad things in my life and some I still do. Everyday I fight to tame the demons in my head as I drown them with many pills every morning (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-if-my-whole-life-were-merely-dream.html). Nonetheless I still refer to myself as a Christian (not a Catholic anymore, Protestant perhaps; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/03/catholic-or-presbyterian.html), go to church every Sunday, became a member of the church, served (helped) in the church, had my children baptized (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-seven-months-later.html), try to be a good person and even became an ordained minister early this month (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html).

two years later: such a confused man that I am or have simply become

So what am I?

1. I was raised Catholic, but always questioned the Church and its traditions and rites. Questioning the Catholic church would immediately brand me as a heretic or Protestant.

2. I took a break from church (not religion) for about fourteen (14) years. I read about different religions and faiths including Krishna.

3. I checked out the Methodist and Anglican church (2008), but I didn't feel comfortable there.

4. I've gone to a Presbyterian (Protestant) church for two years (since 2008). After a lot of soul searching, I even became a member of that church (congregation and denominational records).

5. Now I've become an "ordained minister" (pastor) in the Universal Life Church. Nonetheless I still go to the same Presbyterian church.

At the end of the day, what am I? At least, I know that I'm a Christian.

43 Presbyterians in Congress

Since I go to a Presbyterian church, I thought this was an interesting report from PC(USA) Research Services -- as posted on its Twitter account (@PCUSAResearch).

"There are 43 Presbyterians in Congress, 8% of total; by comparison, Presbyterians are only 3% of the U.S. population.
http://bit.ly/bmM3uk
about 1 hour ago via web"
http://twitter.com/PCUSAResearch/status/22632017023

Just as I've mentioned several times, it's important for a politician to be a theist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theism).

walking by a Lutheran church

From the different denominations, I'm curious about the Lutheran Church. From what I've seen and read, it looks similar to the Presbyterian Church that I go to. This morning I was curious as I walked by the Lutheran church in the neighborhood where I live. I didn't go in since its service starts at 9:30am and I was going to the 10:00am service considering the 30- to 45-minutes bus ride. Said all this, it's not like I'd end up going to a Lutheran church -- after being raised Catholic and now going to a Presbyterian church -- since I'm comfortable where I'm at.

broken back, broken hope, broken faith... no God?

The government promises to be there for us when we're hurt with benefits, which are paid for in advance by our eternal tax contributions. The problem especially in NYC is that the system's corrupt.

Years ago I was unemployed (9/11, the bad economy and high unemployment that followed; 2001-03), sick and broken, about to be evicted (no money for rent), with a two-year-old diagnosed with some disease that no one really know or cares about on October 2003 (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/happy-9th-birthday-my-little-boy.html) and little money to eat. When I asked for my lawful-entitled benefits as an American citizen who had worked almost 20 years by that time, I was told that I couldn't get monetary aid (welfare, food stamps, SSI, etc) because I had no job. My lack of work was the reason why I had no money. It was a stupid chicken-and-the-egg situation to be subject to.

As I mentioned, the system's corrupt and much too often abused. Why does some lazy idiot who doesn't want to work get social benefits (cash money, vouchers for rent, food stamps and everything else that I've worked hard for) that I'm entitled to, yet denied to me and my sick child?

I even considered suicide for my family to collect some level of benefits, but I was worth nothing (no monetary compensation at all). How can a person hold on to hope, to faith, to life or to anything left at all? Where was God in all this?

By the end of 2003, I was homeless with a family and a sick child to support and take care of. At least, I was finally working, but it still hurt. I was time to rebuild and start again. At the same time, hope and faith on humanity were gone, striped from me.

It's been seven years since. I had to declare bankruptcy and have worked myself up of the pit from hell we had dwelt in. Surprisingly I still hold on to this senseless and empty faith that everything will be fine one of these days.

Was this all a test from God? If so, what was the reason or purpose of it all?

Was it all some sick joke for someone to entertain? If so, whom was it for?

Will I ever get my answers? In the meantime, I'm still rebuilding everything was robbed from me and my children -- especially my boy's health.

Where was God during these dark hours? Why did he let it (unemployment, my child's decaying health, eviction, homelessness, desperation, anxiety, pain, hopelessness, etc) happen -- worse of at the same time? Most importantly, why's my little boy been sick since?

Christian, plain and simple

I was raised Catholic, but now I go to a Presbyterian church. Does this still mean that I'm Catholic? If not, does this now make me a Presbyterian or at least a Protestant of some sort?

All I know and hence care about is that I'm a Christian. My faith (or lack of, much too many times) doesn't change depending on the sign or label at the door of a given house of worship.

Anyway (as if anyone cares), I started going to a Presbyterian church because the persons delivering the sermon spoke plain English -- not some Shakespearean rendition of a mass or tales of eternal damnation. I didn't have to guess what these pastors from an altar were trying to communicate to the people on the pews. The most shocking thing was actually hearing jokes, laughing and even applauding after any beautiful performance (choir, solo soprano or baritone, children recital, etc). These were little details that are still new and exciting to me. After all, shouldn't we all feel thrilled and engaged during worship?

happy 9th birthday, my little boy, my sick child as you keep running against time

As I mentioned a little back ago (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-sick-child.html), my second child (9) has been sick most if not all of his life. It's been a constant race against time to find a cure for whatever he really has (diagnosed with this and that, yet still unknown and hence incurable) before he gets any older.

He deserves to live a "normal" life and enjoy a "normal" childhood. Needless to say, I'd give my life or my health for him to be healthy. If it were so easy, I'd have done it a while ago.

I guess I can only continue looking for the right doctor and the right therapy, reading about new cures and therapies while praying and holding to an empty faith. I often wonder if I've done something so bad that I must now pay with my little boy's health and life -- some twisted form of punishment that slowly robs my son's life.

The pain and desperation of seeing my little boy helplessly sick was one of reasons that brought me back to God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). If this was the reason for my child to be unhealthy (so many doctors, so many hospitals, so much medicine that has done more damage than good if any good at all), the purpose was fulfilled. Yet he's still plagued with medical conditions.

These past eight years or so have been hard to bear -- some days much more than others. I hope God gives me the strength not to lose my cool and be able to be the father my little boy needs.

"I have had patients of my own so well in hand that they could be turned at a moment's notice from impassioned prayer for a wife's or son's 'soul' to beating or insulting the real wife or son without a qualm."
CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

At the end of the day, he'd fall asleep in my arms as he usually does and give me a hard time to go to school or therapy the following morning.

At the end of the day, I love my little boy and will take care of him even after I die -- making plans and preparations for something I wish I'd never have to rely on.

Then again perhaps I should take the following message from a dear friend of mine.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
-- Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV

Nonetheless I just can't leave it in God's hands. I must try all possible solutions, therapies and/or cures. I just pray for God to guide me to the correct solution, therapy and cure. I know God will deliver, but I don't know when or what.

* Enjoy your birthday, my little monkey. Daddy loves you now and always.

leaving one's comfort zone

Someone I know from church, Ben, is going to Kenya (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenya) on a mission through Presbyterian Church (USA) (http://www.pcusa.org/) and Church World Service (http://www.churchworldservice.org/).

Leaving one's comfort zone to engage in a humanitarian project is something that I can admire. Nonetheless I know I wouldn't do it and I could come up with hundreds of excuses not to do it.

Take a look at his blog (http://bensnipes.blogspot.com/2010/06/getting-ready.html) where Ben will write about his experiences in Kenya. He's currently asking for small donations to come up with $4500 that he still needs for this mission trip. If you can, go to his site and click on the first link on the right of the page, which should take you to the General Assembly Mission Council (http://gamc.pcusa.org/) website. If you have any questions, contact Ben Snipes (bensnipes@gmail.com).

As I mentioned, Ben's trip is something I can admire and this is the only reason why I'm helping him out.

my sick child (happy fathers day)

Having and taking care of a child is difficult within itself. If the child is sick or handicapped, it's a much harder responsibility, but you gladly embrace it harder than your life itself.

My 8-year-old (9 next month) is sick and handicapped. It's been a roller coaster ride looking for a cure or the best therapy/care. Within his condition that has affected his nervous system and absorption of nutrients (similar to Celiac decease), there are several schools of though from conventional medications to trying to rebuild the damaged soft tissues (stomach, nerves, chemical reactions, etc).

Right now we're working with a doctor in Eastchester, about two hours away from where I live, who's helped my little boy in about eight months more than all these other doctors in the past eight years. If anyone's interested in getting touch with this doctor, contact me via Twitter (@project05952381).

It's been over eight years holding on to my faith on a cure and/or therapy that we keep looking. This blind faith that God would lead us to a cure and/or therapy for my little boy might be the reason why I started going back to church (whatever Christian denomination) and eventually opted for FAPC (http://www.fapc.prg/). I even had my youngest boys baptized at FAPC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/05/two-baptisms-two-wet-ones-to-go-please.html).

In all, I keep holding on to my blind and at times senseless faith. I know God will deliver, but I wish I knew when and what. In all, everyone has a cross to bear and mine is my child, my beautiful sick child.

The Great Ends of the Church (Reverend Scott Black Johnston)

I'm stealing a couple of lines from the senior pastor at FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/), Reverend Scott Black Johnston. This quote from his Friday email says a lot.

In the Presbyterian Church, our Book of Order expresses six basic convictions called "The Great Ends of the Church." We exist, Presbyterians say, to fulfill these ends, these goals, these great purposes. The six Great Ends are:

• the proclamation of the gospel for the salvation of humankind
• the shelter, nurture, and spiritual fellowship of the children of God
• the maintenance of divine worship
• the preservation of the truth
• the promotion of social righteousness
• the exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the world

http://www.pcusa.org/oga/publications/boo07-09.pdf

visited a Methodist church

So I visited a Methodist church in NYC (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/getting-ready-for-round-two.html). It was the second time that I entered this church (building). The first time I walked in and out in less than 10 minutes. This time around, I sat through out the service. As curious as I am, I took notes. Since I was confused at times, I can use this notes to understand the service. Well it was an experience and maybe I won't go back to that church.

getting ready for round two

I have no intention of quitting FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/), but I'm ready for round two of visiting other churches in NYC of other denominations to see what their ideas of a Sunday service are like (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). Let's see what part two of this experiment brings.

as music saved my soul (the dance of life), pt 2

As I mentioned before, music saved or was used to save me (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/as-music-saved-my-soul-dance-of-life.html). Music's always been an important part of my life. My favorite music genre is rock & roll (especially hard rock) covering a huge variety of sub-genres and styles (modes, instruments from guitars to polyphonic synthesizers, influences, tempo changes, etc). Although this music genre is still considered negative and even ungodly by many people (religious people especially), rock & roll has had religious overtones since its beginnings in the 1950's. This tradition has continued to be true for close to six decades.

Several artists recognize that they often fail to do what God wants us to do and they ask God for mercy in their music. Although these artists may not be like Stryper (http://www.stryper.com/) worshiping God on every song and giving out Bibles in every concert, they do ask for God's help and mercy while holding on to their bad-boy persona.

Right after rock & roll, I like country music, from which rockabilly and then rock & roll came to be. As with rock & roll, with little to no doubt, country music has been very religious since the American South is still Christian country.

Nonetheless these are two forms of having one's faith in one's art and/or feelings. At least on a personal level, I prefer being the sinner constantly asking for God's help and mercy.

Needless to say, most rock & roll and country music alike also deal with humanity, pains, joy, love, sex, heartbreak, drinking, drugs, plenty of sinful acts and many not so-godly topics. Nonetheless within the sin and depravity, many artists do have and have shown deep religious beliefs and/or have God in their lives.

What bothers me is that nowadays expressing one's faith is not politically/socially correct. What happened to the nation founded under deep Christian beliefs where a one can't openly mention God without hurting someone else? Is this really the end of this great Christian nation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation.html; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation-pt-2.html) where one could share one's religious beliefs in one's art -- especially music?

a quick thanks

On behalf of FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/), I'd like to thank all those who came last night for part one of the New York Concerns... New York Conversations (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-york-concerns-new-york.html) series. We had lots of fun and I hope you join us next Wednesday for part two.

the end of this great Christian nation, pt 2

I mentioned early this week that the US is a Christian nation (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/04/end-of-this-great-christian-nation.html. This nation was founded on Christian principles and the Constitution was based on the Book of Order http://www.pcusa.org/oga/publications/boo07-09.pdf.

Now it seems that Governor Sara Palin is in trouble for using such remark.

Palin Draws Heat over 'Christian Nation' Remarks