the "Don't Walk By!" campaign

I'm posting some information that I received this morning, which the author gladly accepted my request to post it.

Don't Walk By is a campaign run by a partnership of faith-based ministries called The Rescue Alliance. On five consecutive Saturdays (January 8 through February 5), teams of volunteers will walk through different parts of Manhattan in an effort to engage people who may need a hot meal, shower or bed for the night. In addition to the street outreach effort, volunteers are also needed to greet guests, prepare or serve meals, sort through clothing, and assist in other ways at the host church for each of the evenings.

To read more details about the campaign or to volunteer on one of the remaining four Saturdays, please visit http://dontwalkby.org/main/how-to-help/.

If you would like to ask questions of someone from FAPC who has participated in this outreach effort, please contact outreach@fapc.org.

Street outreach volunteers are especially needed for Feb. 5.

denominational & non-denominational: ditching denominations

On Twitter (where I get most of my religious news), Lawrence Wilson @LawrenceWilson posted a link to the following.

"At the same time mainstream denominations lose thousands of members per year, churches such as Crosspoint are growing rapidly — 15 percent of all U.S. churches identified themselves as nondenominational this year, up from 5 percent a decade ago. A third dropped out of major denominations at some point."

More churchgoers ditch their denominations
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110101/NEWS01/101010318/More-churchgoers-ditch-their-denominations

Considering that denominations are labels for common secondaries beliefs, most of us have left the churches that we grew up in (Catholic in my case) and found a more comfortable environment (truer to oneself) to worship God. Definitely from my own experience, I found in FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) that truer spiritual home for me to be able to worship God.

"Denominations share theological, organizational and legal ties. They send out missionaries; build colleges, seminaries and hospitals; and fund pension plans for pastors."

More churchgoers ditch their denominations
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110101/NEWS01/101010318/More-churchgoers-ditch-their-denominations

At the same time, some Christians opt to lose its ties completely from denominations. These Christians don't identify themselves with secondary doctrines of a specific denomination or simply refuse to be labeled.

On a personal level, I prefer a denominational environment where I know what to expect in a service -- a fixed pattern. I just opted to go to another church.

my son's first ever seizure, a month later

Tonight I'll go to sleep mentally ready for anything. My nine-year-old had a seizure -- first time ever -- a month ago last night (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html). It's been a difficult month wondering if he'd have another seizure, perhaps even die or end up severely handicapped due to brain damage. I can only hold back my tears (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx-finally-breaking.html), pray and wait. Regardless what all the so-called experts who've seen my son say, I see a change in my son's psyche and over all behavior. His brain seems to have been affected -- for a lack of a better term, fried.

going to church in a rotten mood

This past Friday, when I was on my way to church for the Christmas Eve service (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-pageant-christmas-carols.html), it might not have been right for me to go. After all, one shouldn't go to church in a rotten mood, but rather with a peaceful heart.

I left home upset 'cause I couldn't find my winter cap. Then half a block later, an idiot almost ran me over while I was crossing the street with the proper right of way (the little "walking man" sign). I wanted to run after that idiot who'd to stop at the next red light, but I didn't. When I cooled off a bit, I wondered if such a stupidly reckless individual could be carrying a gun or other type of weapon. Maybe I just saved my hide by acting as the better man this time around.

About twenty minutes later, I felt much calmer yet thinking about the anger I had in me not even half an hour before. I might simply be another vulgar hypocrite during Christmas in it all.

Anyway, the Christmas Eve (24th) service that I've gone to since going to FAPC isn't the family service at 4pm or the late one at 10pm -- but rather at 7:30pm. Last year I volunteered to carry a candle on two of three Candle Light Services. This year I just helped with the sixteen-track Mackie sound console (a little something that I've been doing for the past month or so to make myself useful, have fun in church, but not to show off).

To my surprise, for someone who'd been away from church for more than a decade, I seem to enjoy Christmas services at FAPC a lot. I don't think that the "wrapped in swaddling clothes like a burrito" jokes from Revered Scott Black Johnston are the reason why, but they might help. It may simply be the freedom to smile and laugh within a strict need for faith, simply knowing when to laugh and when to seriously pray.

By the way, Christmas Eve services are quite an interesting social experiment as people enter and exit the church building continuously before and sporadically during the service. Some people enter and leave right away when realizing that they're in the wrong church -- Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church (Presbyterian), Saint Thomas (Anglican) and Saint Patrick's Cathedral (Catholic) within a mere three-block walk. At the same time, tourists just want to see what the building looks like from the inside. Perhaps some might even feel intimidated by the sheer size of these three churches in such a short distance. Nonetheless the main floor of the sanctuary in FAPC was at full capacity and the balcony had to be opened -- a full house on all three services.

Christian individualism

Christianity -- as most religions -- is a social expression of love and worship to the Godhead. Nonetheless, at times, we don't want to be surrounded by other humans and/or other creatures for that matter. Hence we remain as individuals -- away from society, away from others with our faith in one hand and doubting pains in the other. As odd as this concept (personal point of view) may seem, I've done the latter several, especially as I was looking for my faith (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2008/12/confused-no-news-there.html). In this personal search, I've found God several times especially sharing my faith and lack of with friends I've made in church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-church-friends-unexpected-fellowship.html) and others in and outside the Church environment. Considering this last statement, I wonder if I'd feel as much faith as I've got right now (so immensely little, broken & in doubt) if I were going to another church. I honestly think it could be much less (if any spiritual change if any at all) going somewhere else. Hence I thank the fellows at FAPC for giving me a chance to grow spiritually (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/open-letter-to-my-friends-86-weeks.html), not merely intellectually knowing facts about Christianity (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/denominational-non-denominational.html) and its comparison to other faith systems (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/without-spirit.html & http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/quarreling-siblings.html).

my son's first ever seizure, two Sundays later

Since my son had a seizure in the early hours of Monday 11/29/2010 morning (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html), I freak out every Sunday night wondering if he could suffer another seizure in early hours of the next Monday morning. This surely gives a new meaning to the "Monday Blues."

Undoubtedly I'm still worried and scared for my son's health, life and over all well being. I check on him day and night to the point that he must be sick of me. I keep waking up at all times of the night to make sure he hasn't fallen unconscious in his sleep after another seizure. Needless to say (type), at work especially, I can't stop wondering if the next phone call I get is to inform me of another emergency. At least, my mental state's much clearer after the Blue Christmas service last week (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx-finally-breaking.html).

Without much of a forcefully given choice, I'll have to learn how to live with the possibility and reality that epilepsy most likely won't go away from my child's life. Nonetheless I could at least be ready for another emergency and hopefully for anything else that "life" throws at us without letting my emotions clog my mind and/or judgment. I must definitely think this way since I've always been calm, rational, logical and practically cold-blooded after any accident or emergency and I'd hate lose this part of me.

Blue Christmas (MMX) - revisited

So I survived my pains, sorrows, depression and other demons (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx-aftershock.html). Now all I need to do now's to survive the rest of the bloody HOLIDAY season -- loneliness, hypocrisy, commercialism, stupid TV specials and joyful faces.

At least, I'll spend some quality time this CHRISTMAS helping with two of the three main services. Well I'll try to enjoy some time with my kids too.

Blue Christmas (MMX): the aftershock

As hard as I strongly doubted for a while my so-called blind faith that God will actually heal my sick little boy, I feel much calmer after the 47-minute worship service (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx-finally-breaking.html). Maybe it was the psychological factor of being vulnerable while venting and weeping in the company of someone who cared for me enough to be by my side (two pastors, the second several minutes after the first one) in a sheltered environment (the church I go to) -- hence being a mere placebo effect of feeling a higher power and protection. Of course, as a Christian, the best response would be that it was the grace and mercy of God on me, to which I'm fairly more inclined to believe. I'm nonetheless aware and deeply concerned of the possible risks and dangers that child may face from now on with his new medical condition (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html).

Blue Christmas (MMX): finally breaking down

I finally broke down right before the Blue Christmas service (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx.html). One of the pastors asked me about my children and I just broke down shamelessly weeping in church. After a long talk, the pastor told me that Jesus is with me and my child. This thought wasn't very reassuring given my state of mind at the time. After all, I've prayed asking for God to heal my son for the past eight years and I've held to a blind faith that he'd heal my son. A little time later, another pastor came to me, put his hand on my shoulder and seemed to have prayed for me and then asked me to see him at some near future date.

So far, it's been so little that we've been able to achieve to improve my child's quality of life. Maybe I don't have enough faith that Jesus will help my son. Maybe I've lost most of the little faith that I held on to about a little bit over a year ago. Hence I constantly ask myself the same questions.

1. Have I done anything so bad that my child's got to pay for my sins?
   
   
2. If the latter were true, must my child suffer every second of his life for something we'll never figure out in order for me to mend it right away?
   
   Then again, I can't get in my mind that God could be cruel and hurt an innocent child (my son) to punish someone (me). In all, I don't want to see my child suffer any more. I'd definitely do anything for him to be well.
   
   
3. Can anyone just tell me what in the bloody fuck I must do -- besides praying, putting my faith in God and looking for a scientific "cure" of sorts?

Blue Christmas (MMX): something to think about

By the way, the Christmas season (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/blue-christmas-mmx.html) brings the highest level of depression in some people and hence numbers of suicides. It also brings out the most hypocrisy out of people too as they act as if they really cared about their fellow men. This is truly the season to be dying -- either loosing your material life or your soul.

Blue Christmas (MMX)

I'm looking forward to tonight's Blue Christmas worship service (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-seven-months-later.html). I'm glad that there's such a thing as a Christmas service for those of us who are blue (sad, depressed, troubled, lonesome, etc; in my case, all the latter). Sometimes Christmas (the Mass of the Christ, the celebration of the coming of Messiah, the incarnation of God) isn't as joyful for some (myself included) as it seems to be for the majority of others.

I must admit that I'm always blue during Christmas, which stopped being fun over two decades ago. This is simply not my favorite time of the year. Now with my son suffering a seizure (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html), I feel even worse. In the past ten days or so, I've been able to see deeper into the soul of those so-called experts who once promised to look after the sick and especially the handicapped. Hence I'm in no mood to be joyful. It hurts deeply to see him not being able to enjoy the whole "holiday" charade and the stupid TV specials like other children. As someone told me last night, there's a possibility that any day could be my son's last and I simply don't have any intention of burying my son so early in his broken and limited life.

One thing that's made it easier for me to cope with all the charade of love and joy charade of the season has been listening to my all-time favorite Christmas record, Excelsis v.2 ~ a winter's song (http://www.projekt.com/projekt/product.asp?sku=PRO00092) with goth rock bands interpreting Christmas songs much more beautifully than I've ever heard them.

In all, this will be another dark and depressing Christmas. I might just lock myself in my room and watch Japanese horror/gore movies or whatever I might be in the mood for. Of course, my mother as usual will try to cheer me up and fail miserably only making me more upset.

On a good note, during the Christmas services, I'd try to help as much as I can and feel useful serving God in some cheap way -- all the while feeling miserable inside. Hopefully I'd be able to hold on to whatever's left of my faith.

turkey, the holy bird

Many Christians in many parts of the world celebrate Christmas (happy birthday Jesus) with special feasts eating particular foods based on culture, tradition and/or society. In the US, the celebration of Christmas -- as well as Thanksgiving (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/giving-thanks.html) -- includes eating turkey.

When did eating the flesh of animals become part of any Christian celebration -- especially Christmas? Maybe it's time to spare a turkey (or any other animal, for that matter) and join Jesus in a temple during the celebration of God's incarnation and coming to earth.

Better yet, celebrating Christmas with a vegetarian dinner might even be a better idea. Why should we slaughter an animal to celebrate the coming of God? Shouldn't we better celebrate God by celebrating His creation?

By the way, if you're in NYC, come and join me at FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/news/502-advent-marks-new-season) to celebrate Christmas. I hope to see you there.

welcoming new members

Every church needs to be funded (electricity, gas, etc) and everyone working in a church needs to pay rent and bills (salaries, wages, etc). Hence a church relies on funds received from the congregation. This is perhaps the second reason why churches need members -- the main reason being a common faith and doctrine system.

These members are people who go to a particular church practically every Sunday, help cover costs and participate in various areas of the church willingly and expected to (myself included). This interpretation of what it means to be a member of a church might sound a bit harsh for some, but isn't this what it means to be a Christian in the first place?

Working with new members is often a strange and fondly interesting experience. New members sometimes don't know what to expect of the church (building, congregation, ministries, etc). When I've been asked to help welcoming new members, I've had to sit with them during breakfast (the day they're accepted and introduced as new members of the church) and give them a better idea what the church is and especially what it's not. Most importantly, being a member of a Christian congregation means being part of the Church and the household of God.

By the way, I want to point out that I'm fond of being a Christian and being a member of FAPC. I also thank this church for the opportunities it's given me to be part of the Church and be able serve God.

denominational & non-denominational: mea culpa

As I've pointed out in my previous post (as a form of disclaimer),

the following's merely the result of my observation on human behavior and religious belief systems -- most importantly my behavior and religious belief system (my faith in God).

http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/denominational-non-denominational.html

Considering the structure of churches and their service, I prefer to be in a controlled, organized and fixed environment where I fully understand what's going on during the service. Hence I prefer a denominational church -- a Presbyterian church, Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church, which I had never thought I'd consider going beyond the mere curiosity.

As a child, I went to one of two Catholic churches in my neighborhood as these services were supposed to be identical. When I moved back to NYC, I started going to St Patrick's Cathedral, but I quit shortly after. As much as mass was strictly organized, it was a boring experience and unfulfilling -- to me at least.

Some thirteen years later, I shopped for a new church and found the current church I go to every Sunday -- FAPC. This same church sometimes mid-week alternative services with music, Scripture readings and several quick sermons. I even understand and enjoy since these service maintain a specific certain order even when at times running longer than planned.

I've heard of and gone to services on other churches that don't seem to have a clear organization. I couldn't survive in such scenario.

denominational & non-denominational

As all comments in this blog, the following's merely the result of my observation on human behavior and religious belief systems -- most importantly my behavior and religious belief system (my faith in God).

Catholic churches follow the same script (more or less) as indicated by the dioceses that controls them geographically (if any differences at all). The difference between one Catholic church and another relies mainly on its geographical location, the personality and/or charisma from the priest -- likable or not, trustworthy or not, good looking or not, in other words his plain human nature.

Protestant churches either are part of (affiliated with) a larger denominational body (synod and/or other group) or totally independent -- not necessarily meaning non-denominational. Some churches from a specific denomination and/or affiliated to a synod or other supervising body don't necessarily follow the same script as others from the same denomination or affiliated to the same synod.

At the same time, non-denominational churches aren't subject to a given script, guidance and/or supervision on what their pastors teach, how to deliver a service and/or doctrines (secondary/denominational). At least, in some level, the extended congregation (members of similar churches) might influence (not organize and manage) how a given group of churches behave.

Hence Protestant churches come in lots of different flavors for different groups of Christians to choose from -- whatever flavor you had been raised in, identify yourself with and/or like best. This all means that a person most likely will be inclined to denominational doctrine and/or the message that a particular church offers -- not merely how close the person lives to the church.

So how do you organize what various preachers ought to preach about? It's practically impossible from a human perspective and limitation, but hopefully the Holy Spirit does it for them to deliver the real Word of God and not some made-up, made-believe and self-centered corruption of the Word to accomplish some twisted agenda. Unfortunately many false "prophets" and ungodly preachers have come and gone hurting lots of people for their selfish motives.

raised Catholic, yet going to a Presbyterian church

Although I was born and raised Catholic, I try to avoid everything that might be related to Catholicism. I was never fond of celibacy and saints while growing up. I rather thought this was a weird part of "religion" (the word that we all used when referring to Catholicism and/or Christianity). I'd also see every day men leading service (mass) without a robe like priests do and I didn't understand this. At the time, I thought that a priest should wear a robe and other men had no right to lead a service. Understanding Catholicism was difficult and getting used to Protestantism has been another difficult task. Maybe this is why I go to a Presbyterian church, which is similar to the Catholic tradition (service structure, church structure, robes, etc) yet so different too (sermon, Eucharist, female pastors, prayer, etc). I really don't know if I made a good decision quitting the Catholic church, but at least I know that it's brought me closer to God.

small fish in the pond

There are hundreds accounts in social networks for organizations and "common" people who publicly worship God. At the same time, there are many times more websites dedicated to worshiping God. Some these names are well known, but many others remain simply unknown.

I'm one of those unknown voices out there (somewhere) sharing my life and how the God News might affect me. I wish I knew how to sell myself to a handful of followers and have my own little ministry, but I'm merely a small fish in the pond.

The biggest obstacle might simply be obsession with my privacy. I'm restless and outspoken, yet quiet in this regard. As a matter of fact, I've never learned how to pray or show my feelings in public.

Preaching would definitely mean breaking out of a shell or being reborn. Ironically enough this pond might even contain sharks. This makes my desire much more difficult having to prove that I'm not interested in conning anyone. How do I prove my integrity in a godless world of deceiving?

At the end of the day, I'd still wonder how I could become a bigger fish in a pond of thousands. I've got no answer, yet a big interest in finding out. Being realistic, I might remain a small fish in this pond while being a wicked and chunky fish in other ponds -- computer science, for example. Should I go back to preach about the Good News of computer science and new technologies?

opinion of one

It's hard to justify one's opinion. I keep going back to the lack of faith and interest that we as Christians have in our own faith and God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/no-utopia-then-how-much-more.html). Maybe I should take a break from beating on this dead horse (horrible expression to be used by a vegetarian; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/animals-better-than-men.html).

So where do I find myself in all this? I haven't been participating in church as I used to. Perhaps I've been more worried thinking what I could do rather than doing anything. Both FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) and ULC (http://www.themonastery.org/) -- both of which I'm a member of -- have several opportunities to serve God, but I'm not taking advantage of any (except from being asked to help during service once in a while). I'm such a waste.

100th week

Yesterday was the 100th Sunday going to church. I guess it was something to celebrate about. I'm proud and happy for myself.

As a matter of fact, I can't stop thinking the Lord has given me a gift for at least trying to be a good Christian for the past 100 weeks. I truly feel blessed right now -- not merely for having the possibility to bring my son (9) to health. Surprisingly enough, this past Saturday I received a letter for an opportunity for a promotion at work (new title, more money, etc). Now I've got to see if I can score that job or title (money).

on-line, on-line, on-line...

I love on-line resources -- whatever the topic. Since I here write about religion, I'd limit myself to Christian on-line resources.

One of my favorite sites is ibiblio (http://www.ibiblio.org/). This site has a great collection of religious books (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?primary=4), which don't only cover Christianity (http://www.ibiblio.org/collection/collection.php?second=7).

In Twitter, I found the page for Abort 73 (http://twitter.com/abort73), which is a Christian site against abortion (http://www.abort73.com/). This site asks pastors to include the topic of abortion in their studies and/or sermons (http://www.abort73.com/attn_student_pastors/).

I also made a list in my Twitter account for Christian pages (http://twitter.com/project05952381/christianity). This by no means is something set on stone, but rather what I've found as useful (ChristianNewsUpdates, http://twitter.com/Christ_News) or funny at times (The PresbyCat, http://twitter.com/ThePresbyCat). My list may merely be a recommendation to anyone interested.

Needless to say, Facebook has lots of pages for Christian sites, organizations, churches, ministries and so on. From these pages, I'd recommend the page for the FAPC Outreach Ministry (http://www.facebook.com/FAPCOutreach), which I helped with and has made an impact in my life.

Of course, there are also Christian sites like CBN (http://www.cbn.com/) and Bible Gateway (http://www.biblegateway.com/), which don't need heavy promotion from social networks to have heavy traffic. At the same time, non-Christian sites are also very useful like Krishna (http://www.krishna.com/) that I like.

As a disclaimer, I must emphasize that I don't endorse or get paid for promoting any site that I mention in this blog and/or any other article that I may write. I'm also not responsible for any content on any of these websites. Said all this, I can and will delete any information and/or links that fails to comply with my opinion or terms of use by Blogger.