rants: a changed man

Since I was fifteen, life's been hard and many times I've been close to ending it all. I've had too many blows in my life leaving me deeply wounded and scared.

I've been through liver failure (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/cheating-death-on-borrowed-time.html), days and nights of having nothing to eat and/or nowhere to sleep, seeing my children cheating death, almost two years of unemployment, dirt-poor, eviction, homelessness with my then two-year-old (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/broken-back-broken-hope-broken-faith-no.html), medical conditions of this same child (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-sick-child.html) and even my own mental disorders (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/02/medications-and-church.html).

In all, life's made me harsh, difficult, stubborn, bitter, resentful, careful (lack of trust), cynical, almost paranoid, psychotic, dangerous, suicidal, cruel, humble, even a better person at times and most importantly strong. I don't wish my life to anyone.

ruthless winter to come: sleeping in ice & snow

Every year, the media and the local government advise that the elderly and children be protected from the cold. They also offer hot-line phone numbers for people to complain if they've got no heat and/or hot water. Of course, there's also the worry of the homeless -- those who sleeping in the cold streets out of no other choice. Shelters are offered as an alternative, which of course can only hold a certain number of people leaving many in the cold. In all, winter in NYC can be brutal and ruthless especially if you're cold with your body heat dropping by the minute and getting numb.

I'm listing some organizations if you care to help or need help.

• Coalition for the Homeless
  http://www.coalitionforthehomeless.org/
• NYC Department of Homeless Services
  http://www.nyc.gov/html/dhs/html/home/home.shtml
• New York Homeless Shelters
  http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/newyork.html

What I just wrote above is absolutely nothing unless you've lived through this. Do something. At least, support whatever outreach ministry your church offers. Said the latter, if your church doesn't have outreach programs, find another church.

Morgan

Last year about this time, I met Morgan -- a California girl who had become homeless after arriving at NYC. She wasn't a junkie or anything like that. Sometimes things in life don't go as expected like been robbed everything including money and identification as in her case. We simply lost touch of one another. Last I heard, she was offered a job. I hope she's fine and not using the subway any more as shelter or a place to sleep at night.