new year's bloody sham of a day

A friend of mine (Princess) wrote what she thought new years was while growing up.

"When I was a kid I thought New Years was something magical because I was always put to bed and unable to celebrate with the adults. I thought the sky would turn purple or something. Turns out I was dead wrong!!! Nothing magical happens but a new year does begin at least."

My response wasn't so charming and perhaps naive, but rather too annoyingly cynical.

"There's nothing magical about fireworks, people getting drunk or people's Pagan rites like the twelve (12) grapes at midnight (superstitions) -- simply pathetic. The only interesting (cool) thing was seeing the streets plagued in fire. That's what new years was about when I was a kid. Now it's only getting another year, another month, another day closer to one's death! It's so bloody depressing and stupid. Then again me dying remains a cool idea. Don't you think?"

The last part of my comment -- making fun of my own death -- might not be the Christian thing to do. It might actually scare people off and/or at least give others the wrong idea. Nonetheless it's fun to laugh at one's self and not care what others think.

going to church in a rotten mood

This past Friday, when I was on my way to church for the Christmas Eve service (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-pageant-christmas-carols.html), it might not have been right for me to go. After all, one shouldn't go to church in a rotten mood, but rather with a peaceful heart.

I left home upset 'cause I couldn't find my winter cap. Then half a block later, an idiot almost ran me over while I was crossing the street with the proper right of way (the little "walking man" sign). I wanted to run after that idiot who'd to stop at the next red light, but I didn't. When I cooled off a bit, I wondered if such a stupidly reckless individual could be carrying a gun or other type of weapon. Maybe I just saved my hide by acting as the better man this time around.

About twenty minutes later, I felt much calmer yet thinking about the anger I had in me not even half an hour before. I might simply be another vulgar hypocrite during Christmas in it all.

Anyway, the Christmas Eve (24th) service that I've gone to since going to FAPC isn't the family service at 4pm or the late one at 10pm -- but rather at 7:30pm. Last year I volunteered to carry a candle on two of three Candle Light Services. This year I just helped with the sixteen-track Mackie sound console (a little something that I've been doing for the past month or so to make myself useful, have fun in church, but not to show off).

To my surprise, for someone who'd been away from church for more than a decade, I seem to enjoy Christmas services at FAPC a lot. I don't think that the "wrapped in swaddling clothes like a burrito" jokes from Revered Scott Black Johnston are the reason why, but they might help. It may simply be the freedom to smile and laugh within a strict need for faith, simply knowing when to laugh and when to seriously pray.

By the way, Christmas Eve services are quite an interesting social experiment as people enter and exit the church building continuously before and sporadically during the service. Some people enter and leave right away when realizing that they're in the wrong church -- Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church (Presbyterian), Saint Thomas (Anglican) and Saint Patrick's Cathedral (Catholic) within a mere three-block walk. At the same time, tourists just want to see what the building looks like from the inside. Perhaps some might even feel intimidated by the sheer size of these three churches in such a short distance. Nonetheless the main floor of the sanctuary in FAPC was at full capacity and the balcony had to be opened -- a full house on all three services.

if not the 25th, then when?

If Jesus wasn't born on December 25th, when was he born? Honestly the date doesn't matter. What solely matters is that God came to earth incarnate in the flesh of Jesus, the Christ.

I do believe all the various studies and historical data indicating that MAYBE the Christ didn't come to us on December 25th. I do believe the date was adopted from the Pagan custom celebrating the winter solstice and the re-birth of the earth.

Said all this, the actual birthday of the Christ could be any day of the year. We've compromised on December 25th and it really doesn't matter as long as we celebrate the coming of the Lord.

the Spirit of Christmas

According to my mother, last night (21st) was the celebration of the coming of the Spirit of Christmas. I don't know what this is although she's told me about this celebration for the past decade or so. This sounds to me like another Neo-Pagan Christmas ritual that coincides with the winter solstice (20th).

Christmas pageant, Christmas carols & Pagan songs

This past Sunday (19th) at church, the children of the congregation reenacted the birth of Jesus reading paraphrased Scriptures and singing as the main part of each service (9:30am & 11:00am). It was fun seeing these little children leading each worship service while dressed up as Mary and Joseph, pastors, the three kings, the star of Bethlehem, sheep, chickens and other animals.

I'm glad that I stayed for both services. As any actor would tell you, each performance's different from every other. These kids did a great job and without a doubt earned the standing ovation they received. Besides, I enjoyed the challenge of doing sound for each of these two pageants including the slight feedback, some hitting a microphone stand and all.

After the second worship service (about 12:15pm), we got together at the entrance of the church to sing Christmas carols. With my somewhat off-key voice, I sang quietly (not confident enough in myself to sing in public) with some of my friends and other familiar faces from church. I'm fairly surprised how much I do enjoy real (religious) Christmas carols, which made this event a lovely experience that I was truly able to enjoy.

We also sang what I've categorized as Neo-Pagan Christmas songs (Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, Jingle Bells & Wish You a Merry Christmas), which have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas and most importantly Jesus. It was a bit shocking to some around me that I couldn't recall the lyrics of these Neo-Pagan Christmas songs. I've rejected the godless Christmas commercialism for so long that I've practically flushed out these Pagan songs of fictitious characters out of my. This also includes the desperation of many to kill and destroy trees for vanity -- the Christmas tree tradition. Needless to say (type) and admit, I couldn't care less for any of these traditions.

At the end, we had probably the best warm apple cider I've ever had. I was able to get two cups right before the containers were taken into the church building. Could it be that I'm finally enjoying Christmas (thanks Amy for last year (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-seven-months-later.html) instead of falling into deep and dangerous depression (annual suicide watch during the Neo-Pagan Christmas festivities)?

I want to point out that I've got nothing against Neo-Paganism, but this set of beliefs has nothing to do with Jesus and Christianity, although many Christian practices are based on ancient forms of Paganism and even Druidism.

Changing the latter subject a bit, I attended the Candlelight Christmas service for travelers (same service as the 24th, just a bit early intended for those leaving town). I enjoyed it and felt at peace with my self and others. Of course, hanging out and overlooking at the sound console -- as I do on Sundays regardless of the schedule that we originally had -- also helps.

By the way, it's 119 weeks going to FAPC, which undoubtedly is a personal record. Of course, this number doesn't indicate how many time I've gone to this church. Sometimes I've gone to two or more services and Bible study small groups during the week. I'm honestly proud of this accomplishment since I know that in the past I'd dropped out in half this time.

Neo-Pagan Christianity

Especially in the environment that I grew up in, Pagan traditions co-existed with Christian (Catholic) ones. I don't simply refer to celebrating the birth of the Christ in December -- whether the Baby Jesus was born in December or some other month as contested by scholars as a possible alteration of the date by the early Church.

There were many superstitions that were incorporated into the Christian (maybe more into the Catholic) practice and doctrine. Maybe this is the true way that religion gets transformed through out time to accommodate Pagan beliefs of the masses.

Whatever the case, the practice of Christianity that I've seen forming around me is somewhat of a Neo-Pagan/Christian doctrine, in which people believe in God but don't trust the Church all the while doing as they please. For example, there are Christians who drink and/or do drugs, sleep around (recreational sex or looking for love) and/or refuse to go to any church (biggest group) all the while believing in God and even praying. This behavior would've been seen as HERETIC and even SATANIC several years ago (before I was born, most likely, great thing about being born after the hippie era). Nowadays this over all behavior's become part of most cultures in the Western world and hence tolerated by the Church.

As a matter of fact, most (99.8%) of the people I know (single, never married, separated or divorced) have been in a sexual relation with someone at least once at some point of their lives. Most of these people are good law-abiding citizens, good people in all. Of course, about more than half of this group have no desire to go to a church of any sort, but still consider themselves Christians or religious (myself included for about thirteen years).

all hallows' eve: the forbidden

As much as we enjoy the costumes and sweets, Hallowe'en remains as a "forbidden" celebration for Christians. It's clearly a way to act as if the occult didn't exist. Being blind to other truths -- good or bad, weird or common, godly or demonic -- hurts our understanding of humanity, religion and even our own belief system (faith).

At times, holding too tightly to a religion shows how much we're afraid of anything we don't know or understand. It's much simpler to just call something "evil" or "bad" without much of an intelligent explanation.

In all, am I a bad Christian or worse yet a bad person for liking Hallowe'en? I don't think so. Besides I can tell what's fantasy from real, what's part of my belief system from sham -- all the while respecting the beliefs of others.

At the same time, I wonder whose belief system's correct. Is it Christianity or not?

without the spirit

Common ideology and theology can be tricky and sometimes hard to accept to say the least.

"Civilization is static unless there is spiritual movement. The soul moves the body, and the living body moves the world. We are concerned about the body, but we have no knowledge of the spirit that is moving that body. Without the spirit, the body is motionless, or dead."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

After reading this quote of one of my favorite books, most would think that the author of such book is some sort of Judeo-Christian theologian, philosopher or at least writer. The use of the word "spirit" is so loose in religion that it may refer to the Holy Spirit (Christianity), the spirit of God, a person's soul as a synonym, a ghost or other life force. Hence a Christian might conclude that the author refers to the Holy Spirit. We could understand it as, "Without the [Holy Spirit], the body is motionless, or dead."

The text above is actually from my favorite book on Krishna -- "Science of Self Realization" by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (http://www.iskcon.org/).

The concept of the Godhead is shared by many religions. It was actually reading this book that I understood that all living creatures exist to accomplish a common will of God.

"We living entities, being parts and parcels of God, are dutybound to serve Him."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

This common concept explains our function in God's creation. Of course, there are other details in Krishna that don't apply to the three Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam). Hence I'm not interested to talk about them here.

At the same time, in the same book we can see the common belief that we must accept God in our lives.

"God is there, and we can see Him at every moment. If we refuse to see God in our life, then He will be present before us as cruel death. If we do not choose to see Him in one feature, we will see Him in another."
-- "Science of Self Realization"
by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Once again, it may feel confusing to understand that these quotes that I'm using here are Krishna -- a religion that we -- Christians -- tend to see as Pagan or even ungodly. Of course, at the end of the day there's only one God and we -- humans -- have given Him different names. Then again, Christianity may be derived from the same core concepts of a common ancient and forgotten religion or mere group of beliefs. This latter can be highly rejected by many, but understood by those who aren't too blind or stubborn.

the Catechism vs the Bible

Having grown up in the Roman Catholic Church, I can now see the level of Christian and over all religious ignorance that I had and still have. We didn't study the Bible since we neither needed to or had any incentive to do so. Maybe this ignorance was key in being and forming the Catholic mind. At most, we studied the Catechism (http://www.usccb.org/catechism/; http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM). Yet we called ourselves "true" Christians with a certain degree of arrogance especially to Protestants.

Now going to a Protestant church, I've had the opportunity to read and study the Bible as well as questioning religious beliefs and practices -- some with deep Pagan roots. Does studying and questioning make Protestantism better? Well it does in order to really know who and what God really is and not be led blindly.

As all human organizations or anything touched by human hands, religions and the millions of interpretations of each are imperfect. Hence Christianity is broken and at times corrupted faith (several generations of accusations of sexual abuse primarily, yet not limited to the Catholic Church).

Since I'm on the topic of being subject to imperfection (not always good) and corruption (evil), I never understood as a Catholic the whole concept of saints and the need a Pope as the human representation of God on earth, as God's top priest. After all humans -- including the clergy and the Pope -- are imperfect and over all broken with all the good and evil in the world. Further more, history is plagued with corruption from the Roman Catholic Church including adultery, slavery, child abuse and assassination; http://www.reformation.org/holocaus.html.

Why am I beating on the Catholic Church? Well I still bear scars of this broken subculture and, yes, I do realize that I'm beating on a dead horse.

Am I closer to God having defected from the Catholic Church and adopted Protestantism? No, I'm not, but at least I feel more honest to myself about my beliefs in God.

Said all this, does it all make a smarter or at least a better person? I doesn't make me smarter since I'm sharing this with the world. It does make me a better Christian (person) having this broad understanding of the differences in Christianity and my curiosity to explore them all.

Cuba, 31 years later

After going through some old articles, I read an article how Cuba is becoming a Christian nation once again (http://www.pcusa.org/pcnews/2010/10280.htm). The Cuban constitution changed the description of the nation from atheist (hostile, government rejection to religion) to secular (neutral, government tolerance to the practice of religion) on 04/02/1990.

With this change, several Christian groups of various denominations have started or continued now without persecution to teach others about God as if this was a savage, Godless and/or pagan land. These missionaries are rebuilding the religious infrastructure of the country that was practically on hold for about three decades -- about two generations of Cubans brought up or at least coaxed via propaganda in the idea that man's supreme above all and/or there's no God -- since the Communist takeover in 1959. Although humans unlearn ideas and habits slowly and learn new ones even more slowly, Christian congregations seem to have been growing rapidly for the past two decades. It would take some more time for most of the population to find God once more.

This proves that humans need to believe in God -- not only to explain the unknown, but rather to cope with life itself. Perhaps the most important right anyone can have is practicing the religious and/or spiritual beliefs that he/she prefers.