ordained, three months later

Three months after being ordained by the Universal Life Church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html), my little faith's of course still tested. Maybe it'll be for the rest of my life for accepting this responsibility. My problem's that I'm not sure what I'm doing or what to really do. I'm glad the Universal Life Church website has a guide that someone like can definitely use (http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/12-guide-to-divinity). Of course, all this means absolutely nothing I can't even help my own son with prayer and my pains (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-my-dying-son.html). Maybe I'm just a sham (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/02/me-me-always-me.html).

small church, part-time pastor

Living in NYC, I've noticed that pastors of small churches (both small building and congregation) have a "common" day job to cover their day-to-day expenses -- instead of getting some sort of stipend from the church income (donations). Considering this fact, these small church pastors lead their flocks on a part-time basis regardless of their best intentions. In all, being a pastor in a small church is a true labor of love.

This is similar to on-line ministers or lay-persons involved in ministries in a larger church (commonly referred to as church leaders, not pastors, yet ministers of faith). I'm fortunate to know some of these ministers like my friend Henny who leads several small groups and is actually considering to become a seminarian (NY), my on-line friend Renee who works with young adults (CA) and even my cousin Marco who helps other members of the church where he goes to (NJ).

Maybe this is where I could come in as an ordained minister (ULC; http://www.themonastery.org/). Then again I might just be looking for an excuse for getting ordained on-line as a minister (pastor) two months ago. As a matter of fact, I still don't know how I can use this obligation I adopted.

bad Christian boy

As a Christian, one must live with a pure a heart and renounce all sins. Needless to say, I haven't achieved this and I'm not sure if I ever could. I've done (not extremely) bad things in my life and some I still do. Everyday I fight to tame the demons in my head as I drown them with many pills every morning (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-if-my-whole-life-were-merely-dream.html). Nonetheless I still refer to myself as a Christian (not a Catholic anymore, Protestant perhaps; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2009/03/catholic-or-presbyterian.html), go to church every Sunday, became a member of the church, served (helped) in the church, had my children baptized (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-seven-months-later.html), try to be a good person and even became an ordained minister early this month (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/two-years-later-such-charlatan-that-i.html).

two years later: such a confused man that I am or have simply become

So what am I?

1. I was raised Catholic, but always questioned the Church and its traditions and rites. Questioning the Catholic church would immediately brand me as a heretic or Protestant.

2. I took a break from church (not religion) for about fourteen (14) years. I read about different religions and faiths including Krishna.

3. I checked out the Methodist and Anglican church (2008), but I didn't feel comfortable there.

4. I've gone to a Presbyterian (Protestant) church for two years (since 2008). After a lot of soul searching, I even became a member of that church (congregation and denominational records).

5. Now I've become an "ordained minister" (pastor) in the Universal Life Church. Nonetheless I still go to the same Presbyterian church.

At the end of the day, what am I? At least, I know that I'm a Christian.

two years later: such a charlatan that I am or have simply become

Just for kicks, I got ordained as a Universal Life Church (http://www.themonastery.org/) minister on-line in under a minute (http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination). Nonetheless my views on what it takes to become a pastor remain the same. A person must study the Bible in Greek and Hebrew at least, theology, how to pray and deliver a good sermon, how to be an ambassador of God on earth and so on.

Said the latter, I might never be a pastor. Most importantly, I don't see myself using a title like "pastor" to get a tax break or other benefits. After all, I know that I might not be a shepherd (definition of the word "pastor") of any flock after all (other than my boys). Further more, I don't see myself pure enough to officiate a wedding or other "divine" functions.

In the end, getting ordained on-line under the jurisdiction of the ULC might be a blessing after all. I could use it to learn more about religion as a whole and perhaps be a better Christian.

"Ordination is the personal calling of an individual, by God, to enter into the ministry, usually in a church leadership role capacity. Because they say that God, and not any man or organization, directs people to go into ministry."
http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/255-legality-of-online-ordinations?template=themonastery

Ironically this ordination took place on the eve of me coming church -- FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) to be precise -- for 104 weeks straight (two years). I know and understand that I might be an ordained minister (pastor) on paper as per the ULC, but I truly wish at times that I was a "real" pastor at a church like FAPC (a place I've learned to consider my spiritual home for the past two years).

In all, I'm still confused (my cheap excuse) and a total charlatan (the truth). Now I must do the best of this situation and the opportunity to serve God and be a better person too (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/christian-in-word-not-in-action.html).

more confused than usual: a minister, a pastor or what

I emphasize on the belief that we're all ministers of faith and entitles me to propagate the Word of God. This means that I should teach others about God -- especially my children.

Of course, being a minister of faith doesn't make me a pastor. Being a pastor demands a higher calling. Then we have a place like The Monastery (http://www.themonastery.org/) that offers free ordination regardless of Christian denomination and/or religious affiliation. This has been an issue of deep confusion for me for a while now (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/business-of-religion.html). Does this mean we can all be pastors if we receive the proper calling or by simply wanting to be a pastor? At least, this website offers us an explanation what it means to be ordained (http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/68-meaning?template=themonastery) and explains that taking such responsibility isn't by any means a joke.

"All these aspects are included in your ordination. Only a Church or ordaining religious entity sets the requirements for ordination for that group. Requirements are different for different groups. A person may attend a ministry school for ten years and graduate knowing only the beliefs of that group. What good would that person be to an individual of a totally different belief system? This is one reason the Monastery accepts everyone just as they are. You know all you need to know to be of assistance to others in their time of need. Nothing special is required to be a caring individual, an individual who listens well and acts in the best interests of others. These are traits common to all belief systems for their ministers to have. A strong desire to act in those manners can be held by everyone."
http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/68-meaning

Considering all this, could I be a good pastor? Maybe I could, but would I be any good?

Anyway the articles in http://www.themonastery.org/ are very good to appreciate Christianity and religious faiths in general.

devotionals, pt. 3; a rock & roll ministry? yeah right!

I've tempted to study to become a pastor and not merely be layman (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/devotionals-pt-2.html). I know websites where one can become a "minister" with a five-minute course, but I feel this is wrong. I strongly believe that a person must get a bachelor of divinity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_of_Divinity) at least.

Being honest to myself and to God, I must admit I don't know if I could take the endeavor of divinity studies. I could take some classes to learn more about God and to better my life and that of my children, but perhaps not to become a pastor.

Besides I'd be a weird pastor playing my electric guitar through a Marshall amp whenever I could. My defective brain (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-lack-of-faith-my-mental-disease.html) might get me trouble if I were to take such a stand. I'm too much of a (crazy, obnoxious, etc) rocker to stand in a pulpit and preach without getting enraged and probably cursing. Perhaps it's all a wrong dream.

Well for the time being, I'll continue working on technology, reading books and essays from German philosophers (Nietzsche, Kant, etc) and writing on this blog for what it's worth.