small church, part-time pastor

Living in NYC, I've noticed that pastors of small churches (both small building and congregation) have a "common" day job to cover their day-to-day expenses -- instead of getting some sort of stipend from the church income (donations). Considering this fact, these small church pastors lead their flocks on a part-time basis regardless of their best intentions. In all, being a pastor in a small church is a true labor of love.

This is similar to on-line ministers or lay-persons involved in ministries in a larger church (commonly referred to as church leaders, not pastors, yet ministers of faith). I'm fortunate to know some of these ministers like my friend Henny who leads several small groups and is actually considering to become a seminarian (NY), my on-line friend Renee who works with young adults (CA) and even my cousin Marco who helps other members of the church where he goes to (NJ).

Maybe this is where I could come in as an ordained minister (ULC; http://www.themonastery.org/). Then again I might just be looking for an excuse for getting ordained on-line as a minister (pastor) two months ago. As a matter of fact, I still don't know how I can use this obligation I adopted.

the on-line church: ministries on Twitter

I'm following 358 people and/or organizations in Twitter as of 10/22/2010 09:32AM. Most of the time you can learn from other laymen and women. Some of these people have their own ministries like @gritandglory, @devotionaldiva, @hodatay (Ukraine) and @mcProdigal. It's a joy to know this people even from afar and in some cases being friends with. I just hope all I write and publish can help someone spiritually or at least make that person think.

the on-line church: Sword Project

Setting up a Unix (http://www.unix.org/) server can be a pain, but at least you know the server will work properly -- something that I can't say about other operating systems. Said this, I've trying to set up an Apache (http://www.apache.org/) web server running Sword (http://www.crosswire.org/sword/) with at least one Bible module. So far, I haven't had much success. I know I'm making a silly mistake, but I'm not sure where I'm messing up. Anyway I want to achieve this out of curiosity and maybe put it on-line for Bible study.

small fish in the pond

There are hundreds accounts in social networks for organizations and "common" people who publicly worship God. At the same time, there are many times more websites dedicated to worshiping God. Some these names are well known, but many others remain simply unknown.

I'm one of those unknown voices out there (somewhere) sharing my life and how the God News might affect me. I wish I knew how to sell myself to a handful of followers and have my own little ministry, but I'm merely a small fish in the pond.

The biggest obstacle might simply be obsession with my privacy. I'm restless and outspoken, yet quiet in this regard. As a matter of fact, I've never learned how to pray or show my feelings in public.

Preaching would definitely mean breaking out of a shell or being reborn. Ironically enough this pond might even contain sharks. This makes my desire much more difficult having to prove that I'm not interested in conning anyone. How do I prove my integrity in a godless world of deceiving?

At the end of the day, I'd still wonder how I could become a bigger fish in a pond of thousands. I've got no answer, yet a big interest in finding out. Being realistic, I might remain a small fish in this pond while being a wicked and chunky fish in other ponds -- computer science, for example. Should I go back to preach about the Good News of computer science and new technologies?

the on-line church: #tworship

Last night I found people praising God on Twitter with hash tag #tworship. This was fairly different from other religious experiences. I even asked what #tworship is to make sure that I didn't misunderstand these group of people. These are my question and the response I received.

my question: Can anyone tell me what #tworship is (thanks)?

response: http://mcprodigal.prodigalreturns.com/tworship/ #jesustweeters

Some of these people used words like "brother" and "sister" when referring to another. Someone even said that he loved his on-line friends (perhaps real friends, yet doubtful). These words are rather hard for me to digest. I don't call anyone "brother" or "sister" except for my brother, my two sisters, at times my best friend of 25 years and two other good friends of mine (one for 35 and another for 23 years) have called me "brother" at times.

Nonetheless, what makes a church after all? It's supposed to be a building of worship and most importantly a group of people worshiping God. Understanding this concept, could an on-line service used as a forum be a church? Nowadays I guess so (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/on-line-church-cyber-christ.html).

Maybe on-line real-time worshiping could be the same as mass on TV was when I was growing up -- although one-directional. It tried to give the church experience on a two-dimensional boring format through a cheap TV broadcast. Of course, this might have been the only way some people could have "attended" church -- especially the sick, the handicapped or simply the home-bound.

In the other hand, watching The 700 Club (http://www.cbn.com/700club/) was a different feeling when I was a kid. It was praising and worshiping while shown facts and stories followed by prayer. This was and still is what I now understand as a ministry.

rants: spiritual guide

As much as I've tried to be a "spiritual guide" to someone, I haven't yet connected with anyone. It may all be a stupid dream or desire. I've even considered to have some sort of on-line ministry, but this is going nowhere regardless how much I pour my soul out. Then again, it's only been three weeks' time since I became ordained.

Needless to say, it was much easier when writing about wrestling (site no longer live) or computer systems. People would look for my information. Now in the case of saving souls, not many people look for my ideas (this blog). Perhaps I need to restructure my ideas (already in this blog) into a "real" website, but they might not necessarily translate properly in this other format.

Well by accepting my ordination, I became a "small time" minister. Now it's my responsibility to make the best of it. Perhaps it was a calling. Then again, it might have a foolish joke and now I must face the consequences -- its obligations as such.

rants: ordained minister

We all have rants that we don't let go and return to again and again. My current involves my ordination and weather or not I'm worthy of such.

Before I start my long rant, I must emphasize that I'm a minister of faith (every Christian's obligation to teach others about God) as emphasized by the Presbyterian Church. Am I betraying or mocking PC(USA) by accepting the ordination of ULC?

Said the latter, could asking for this ordination be a mistake -- a poor joke gone bitter or simply backfiring at me? After all, I wanted to be ordained, but was it a good idea?

Maybe wanting to be ordained and being ordained is matter of choice regardless how impure one may be. In such case, my desire to be an ordained minister (pastor) could have been enough to be ordained and take on such responsibility. Nonetheless I still believe that a pastor must have a degree in theology and follow the "correct" procedure to be a "real" pastor (seminary, church, ministry, etc).

Nonetheless, I feel I'm deceiving myself thinking I could be an ordained minister (ULC). Nonetheless I look for cheap excuses to justify my actions. I'm such a farce and this might all be a charade.

reading

I've been reading what it means to be an ordained minister and also about the various differences between Christian denominations and in some cases other religious systems all together (traditions, rites, ideologies, etc; for example, http://www.ulc.org/training-education/6-baptism/72-baptism-overview). From all the religious material that I've read in the past decade or so, coming to a non-denominational church website has helped me most to understand the different ideologies in Christianity.

What does this all mean in my twisted mind? Am I becoming a better person, a better Christian or a "real" ordained minister? Does all this mean that I betrayed the church I go to? Am I still Catholic? Did I become Presbyterian? Did I join the Universal Life Church unknowingly?

I don't bloody know and I'm so bloody confused right now with my beliefs (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/more-confused-than-usual-minister.html)!

two years later: such a confused man that I am or have simply become

So what am I?

1. I was raised Catholic, but always questioned the Church and its traditions and rites. Questioning the Catholic church would immediately brand me as a heretic or Protestant.

2. I took a break from church (not religion) for about fourteen (14) years. I read about different religions and faiths including Krishna.

3. I checked out the Methodist and Anglican church (2008), but I didn't feel comfortable there.

4. I've gone to a Presbyterian (Protestant) church for two years (since 2008). After a lot of soul searching, I even became a member of that church (congregation and denominational records).

5. Now I've become an "ordained minister" (pastor) in the Universal Life Church. Nonetheless I still go to the same Presbyterian church.

At the end of the day, what am I? At least, I know that I'm a Christian.

two years later: such a charlatan that I am or have simply become

Just for kicks, I got ordained as a Universal Life Church (http://www.themonastery.org/) minister on-line in under a minute (http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination). Nonetheless my views on what it takes to become a pastor remain the same. A person must study the Bible in Greek and Hebrew at least, theology, how to pray and deliver a good sermon, how to be an ambassador of God on earth and so on.

Said the latter, I might never be a pastor. Most importantly, I don't see myself using a title like "pastor" to get a tax break or other benefits. After all, I know that I might not be a shepherd (definition of the word "pastor") of any flock after all (other than my boys). Further more, I don't see myself pure enough to officiate a wedding or other "divine" functions.

In the end, getting ordained on-line under the jurisdiction of the ULC might be a blessing after all. I could use it to learn more about religion as a whole and perhaps be a better Christian.

"Ordination is the personal calling of an individual, by God, to enter into the ministry, usually in a church leadership role capacity. Because they say that God, and not any man or organization, directs people to go into ministry."
http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/255-legality-of-online-ordinations?template=themonastery

Ironically this ordination took place on the eve of me coming church -- FAPC (http://www.fapc.org/) to be precise -- for 104 weeks straight (two years). I know and understand that I might be an ordained minister (pastor) on paper as per the ULC, but I truly wish at times that I was a "real" pastor at a church like FAPC (a place I've learned to consider my spiritual home for the past two years).

In all, I'm still confused (my cheap excuse) and a total charlatan (the truth). Now I must do the best of this situation and the opportunity to serve God and be a better person too (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/christian-in-word-not-in-action.html).

more confused than usual: a minister, a pastor or what

I emphasize on the belief that we're all ministers of faith and entitles me to propagate the Word of God. This means that I should teach others about God -- especially my children.

Of course, being a minister of faith doesn't make me a pastor. Being a pastor demands a higher calling. Then we have a place like The Monastery (http://www.themonastery.org/) that offers free ordination regardless of Christian denomination and/or religious affiliation. This has been an issue of deep confusion for me for a while now (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/business-of-religion.html). Does this mean we can all be pastors if we receive the proper calling or by simply wanting to be a pastor? At least, this website offers us an explanation what it means to be ordained (http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/68-meaning?template=themonastery) and explains that taking such responsibility isn't by any means a joke.

"All these aspects are included in your ordination. Only a Church or ordaining religious entity sets the requirements for ordination for that group. Requirements are different for different groups. A person may attend a ministry school for ten years and graduate knowing only the beliefs of that group. What good would that person be to an individual of a totally different belief system? This is one reason the Monastery accepts everyone just as they are. You know all you need to know to be of assistance to others in their time of need. Nothing special is required to be a caring individual, an individual who listens well and acts in the best interests of others. These are traits common to all belief systems for their ministers to have. A strong desire to act in those manners can be held by everyone."
http://www.themonastery.org/jcontent/training/5-ordination-training/68-meaning

Considering all this, could I be a good pastor? Maybe I could, but would I be any good?

Anyway the articles in http://www.themonastery.org/ are very good to appreciate Christianity and religious faiths in general.

Christian in word, not in action

I call myself a Christian, but I fail to act as such.

I see my friend Tiffany being a "true" Christian serving and helping others. Do her actions make her more of a Christian? Of course, they do especially since she does what she does quietly like helping in shelters at least once a month.

This comparison is merely to point out how fake we can be -- most importantly how fake and hypocrite I might be. I guess I must also point out that I admire my friend and I constantly wonder if I could ever be as unselfish as she seems.

I can only say that I have little children of my own to take care of. Well this is all I have in my defense.

the on-line church: the Cyber Christ

Considering that a church is a congregation (a group of believers, commonly referring Christians), a church doesn't need a building or physical location. Understanding the latter, the concept of an "on-line church" may exist. Of course, understanding the idea that this "church" is in cyberspace (internet, in the web, merely housed in a server somewhere) and built with bits and bytes is a difficult concept to accept.

Does this mean that we could pray to God while visiting a web server? Yes, as a matter of fact, we can and should pray anywhere.

Does this mean that we could be part of a congregation? Yes, we don't need to see a person's face to look into his/her soul.

Now does mean that a pastor would deliver a sermon? Yes, of course, we're all ministers of faith. We can deliver a sermon although a "real" pastor would do a much better job.

Could a pastor deliver pastoral care? Yes, the job of a pastor never ends. A good number of pastors nowadays have email accounts and can reach anyone anywhere at any time.

Considering and/or understanding all this, the website of any "real" church is an extension of that church and faith. Anyone can be part of that "real" church going to that church website and listening to recordings of the sermons (something many churches do nowadays).

By taking this same concept backwards, a church website (an on-line) church may exist although it lacks a building where the congregation could meet and pray in person. Look at the list of some on-line churches below.

LifeChurch.tv
http://www.lifechurch.tv/

Church of Fools (Methodist Church)
http://www.churchoffools.com/

Cyber-Church
http://www.cyber-church.com/

devotionals, pt. 3; a rock & roll ministry? yeah right!

I've tempted to study to become a pastor and not merely be layman (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/devotionals-pt-2.html). I know websites where one can become a "minister" with a five-minute course, but I feel this is wrong. I strongly believe that a person must get a bachelor of divinity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_of_Divinity) at least.

Being honest to myself and to God, I must admit I don't know if I could take the endeavor of divinity studies. I could take some classes to learn more about God and to better my life and that of my children, but perhaps not to become a pastor.

Besides I'd be a weird pastor playing my electric guitar through a Marshall amp whenever I could. My defective brain (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-lack-of-faith-my-mental-disease.html) might get me trouble if I were to take such a stand. I'm too much of a (crazy, obnoxious, etc) rocker to stand in a pulpit and preach without getting enraged and probably cursing. Perhaps it's all a wrong dream.

Well for the time being, I'll continue working on technology, reading books and essays from German philosophers (Nietzsche, Kant, etc) and writing on this blog for what it's worth.

ministry of mine?

I can understand concepts like string theory (in which every decision we make creates a parallel universe; hence multiple realities existing; http://www.mkaku.org/home/?tag=string-theory), but religious concepts can be difficult to understand.

For example, if we're all ministers of faith, I guess I'm a minister by definition. That's a strange concept for me to grasp. After all, I understand (1) that a minister should propagate the Word of God and spread the Good News of the Kingdom of Heaven and (2) that the word "minister" isn't limited to the person heading a given congregation -- reverend, pastor, priest, vicar, rector or any similar term.

Said all this, am I doing my "job" well or at all as a minister of faith -- especially teaching my children or to others about God, religion or theology?

Further more, do I have enough faith to do any of these tasks or am I a simple salesman of an empty belief and faith?

As the expression goes, only time will tell, but I doubt it. By the way, does doubt mean lack of faith? Oh well, I guess I still have lots to learn -- much more than I thought.

Screwtape & Wormwood

I've been reading the 1942 book by C.S. Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Screwtape_Letters). It's an interesting book with dark humor. In this story, the narrator is a demon (Screwtape) writing a series of letters to his nephew (Wormwood) who seems to be a young and less experienced (rookie) demon whom he's instructing/advising how to tempt a man.

"Desiring their freedom, He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves them to 'do it on their own'. And there lies our opportunity. But also, remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."

One conclusion that I've made so far from this book is God's relationship to us (not the way around). God gives us complete free will to decide to follow him or not, but if we opt to follow him, He won't abandon us.

At the same time, we're vulnerable to sin due to the same free will that God had given us.

Some of these conclusions might be obvious, but reading them in a dark comedy is really cool. Sometimes the best sermon and second-hand teachings (Jesus being the source of these real teachings) don't come from an altar.

After all, we're all ministers of faith.