1 John 1:8-9

I've heard this words many times and I hadn't realized it's in the Gospels. I've got read/study the Bible more.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:8-9 NLT)

my son's first ever seizure, what about God?

I need answers, so many answers.

Where was God in all this (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-sons-first-ever-seizure.html)?

Did he forsake my son, an innocent child born sick for miserable doctors to use as a guinea pig (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-so-much-to.html)?

Why did he let this happen to my boy (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-month-later.html)?

Did he want to kill and/or destroy my son's mind (frying his brain), health and/or life (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-my-dying-son.html)?

Is this some sort of sick celestial punishment for my sins? If so, I should suffer alone and die for my sins instead of allowing my little boy suffer (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-my-sons-last.html).

I'm angry at God for allowing my son to suffer in pain, anxiety and fear (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-sons-first-ever-seizure-laughing-in.html). Why doesn't God just kill me in exchange for my boy's life?

walking by a Lutheran church: a little friendly confrontation

Yesterday I walked by the same Lutheran church (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/walking-by-lutheran-church.html) as its small congregation was getting ready for service. I felt weird walking by and looking in through its large glass windows. At some point, I'd considered going to this church for at least one service, but all I can say is that some people can't handle a little friendly confrontation discussing differences in secondary Christian beliefs and/or practices. In the end, I've opted not to visit this church (at least for the time being), to remain curious and to simply continue going to FAPC as originally planned. Said all this, I guess I must emphasize on the following.

1. The clergy in that Lutheran church were welcoming, seemed honest and offered me a place to worship. My comments are by no means an insult or other level of offense to the clergy of such church and/or the church itself.
2. I do respect the ideology of the Lutheran Church although I didn't quite agree with all of it (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-born-dead-in.html).
3. I also respect all material written to God, from God, for God by any group of Christians. Of course, this by no means forces me to agree with it all or any of it at all.

religion as a system of superstition

Risking the possibility of being labeled a heretic or worse, religion can be seen as a form of system of superstition by an outsider since we often do things or avoid doing others in order to please God. The thought that some action done or avoided has control over of life or fate could easily be laughed at.

For example, in the Catholic doctrine, which I grew up with, if a person fails to go to church on a Sunday, he/she has automatically committed a mortal sin and fallen off God's Grace. This means that, in the case of that person's death, he/she would be cast to hell or the purgatory -- mortal sin. I grew up with this "superstition" engraved in my soul.

worst father ever, me (maybe)

Then again (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/worst-father-ever-me.html), sometimes I think I'm so bad of a father (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html). Only time and God would tell.

nudity, damaged by religion

Many people feel uncomfortable with their own nudity. Either they feel dirty (damage of religion), fat or ugly (damage of society). There's nothing wrong with nudity and appreciate THE BEAUTY OF SOMEONE'S NUDE BODY. Religion plays an important role tainting nudity and sex as something dirty -- a sin, a shame. This is perhaps the biggest damage religion -- especially Christianity -- has dared to make. According to religion, I shouldn't walk around naked in my apartment if I felt like it because nudity's dirty (how stupid). At the same time, society's corrupted the mind of many making them believe that a "beautiful" body is within certain parameters. Hence not fitting in such means that the person's not desired and that no one cares to see him/her. Let's not forget that beauty's in the eye of the beholder.

The only problem in nudity and hence sex -- in my opinion (fucking disclaimers) -- exists on the mind of the perverted who prefer not to appreciate, but rather want to hurt (for example, rape) or sell oneself (for example, prostitution). This idea of a "real" problem's shared by religion and society.

Now the use of one's nudity involving recreational sex might or might not be part of latter. Purists would say that sexual intercourse must be limited to a married couple. Of course, in today's society it doesn't quite work that way. Although religion still attacks it, society doesn't condemn it. Further more, society uses sex to sell ideas (advertisement & propaganda).

Said all this, I wouldn't care to post a picture of me naked, but society wastes no time to catalog it as pornography and hence bad. Hence I need to comply with society in order to keep this blog clean and not scare of readers (if any).

walking by a Lutheran church: born dead in sin

I'm still slowly reading "This We Believe" (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/walking-by-lutheran-church-this-we.html) while taking notes and highlighting key parts of the text. In any event, I just found a little something that bothers me.

"5. We believe that Adam and Eve lost their divine image when they yielded to the temptation of Satan and disobeyed God's command. This brought upon them the judgment of God: "You will surely die" (Genesis 2:17). Since that time all people are conceived and born in a sinful condition (Psalm 51:5) and are inclined only to evil (Genesis 8:21). "Flesh gives birth to flesh" (John 3:6). Since all people are by nature dead in sin and separated from God (Ephesians 2:1), they are unable to reconcile themselves to God by their own efforts and deeds."
http://www.wels.net/what-we-believe/statements-beliefs/this-we-believe/creation-man-and-sin

There are two schools of though on this regard.

1. One says that we're born in sin and hence evil by default. Therefore we need to break out of our human nature and flesh. This seems to be Lutheran perspective. Even if my interpretation were dead wrong, I don't like the whole fire and brimstone gimmick (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/tough-sale-mean-business.html).
2. In the other hand, the other school of thought teaches us that we're good by nature (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/06/many-faces-flavors-recipes-for.html) and we need to escape sin to be back with God. This is more likely the Presbyterian point of view. After all, I believe and want to believe in a loving God, not a vengeful God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-statement-of-faith-as-of-20100331-at.html). I just hope I'm not wrong.

As a disclaimer, I must emphasize that my opinion's no means a way or form of offense to anyone reading or not reading this or any text I've written.

no bother, no sisters

My father's been married several times. In his first marriage, my oldest sister (two months shy of 48) and only brother (46) were born. During a fling, my other sister (40) was born -- who happens to be cousin to a good friend of mine since we were four years old (now 39).

Stupidly enough my parents had the great idea to keep away from my half-brother and my two half-sisters for about eight years. I practically grew up alone while seeing my friends with brothers and/or sisters.

At the age of 15, I finally met my oldest sister and only brother. A year or so later, my other sister introduced herself as such whom I had known only as my friend's cousin.

My father was willing to introduce me to my oldest sister (maybe the last good thing that my father ever did for my oldest sister and me; http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fathers-last-betrayal.html) who pushed me to meet by brother. Then I introduced my younger sister to my brother and older sister. This is no way to meet one's family, but this is the way we finally met and got together.

my father's last betrayal

My father betrayed me several times -- accusing me of theft, allowing some woman he was sleeping with to steal my child support money, leaving to pay his debts several times, constantly lying to me and even having the audacity to kick us out his apartment after a fight when he had no where to go putting my son out in the street like a dog (horrible expression).

I gave him several "second" chances to correct his actions, but his last betrayal was just too much. No one offends my children in any way and gets away with it.

For the past six years, I haven't talked to my father and have no intention of doing so. As much as the Bible says that we should revere our parents, my father deserves none. As much as the Bible says that we should forgive our trespassers, I don't think I'll ever forgive my father.

Maybe all this makes me a bad son, but at least I am a good father to my children (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/pledge-campaign.html). Well God will decide who's right and who's wrong, but at least my children are safe.

devotionals... Our Father which art in heaven...

It seems that to write a devotional one has to take some text of the Bible and analyze it. If this is true, I'll give it a shot.

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
-- Matthew 6:9-13 (KJV)

This is the Lord's Prayer -- one of the two sacraments given to us by Jesus. It's followed by two verses that emphasize Matthew 6:12.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
-- Matthew 6:12 (KJV)

This means that one has to forgive others for God to forgive them. At the same time one has to be forgiven by others in order for God to forgive us.

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
-- Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

This is a rule or obligation that I constantly heard growing up Catholic. It seems to be the main objective to accomplish before dying. All sins that are not forgiven would stay with that individual forever. One has to be good to men and to God. When we sin, we should REPENT and ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS to those we've sinned against and to God. At the same time, we must forgive others or their sins would stay with them forever.

Perhaps this is the reason why Catholics tell a priest all their sins for someone to forgive them. For what it's worth, I never felt comfortable telling a priest my sins for him to tell me to repeat some prayer whatever number of times. After a while, the senseless repetition and charade gets old. This is one of the main differences between Catholics and Protestants.

Said the latter, I might have turned out to be a Protestant after all. Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm pure or sinless in any way. I've made to many bad things (deeds, choices, etc) to remember or that I care to write on this blog.

One detail that I must point out is that in prayer or sermon, I don't agree with anyone telling that I'll rot in hell for my sins. I find this too negative. It also takes the focus off God, His glory and His kingdom.

Screwtape & Wormwood

I've been reading the 1942 book by C.S. Lewis, "The Screwtape Letters" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Screwtape_Letters). It's an interesting book with dark humor. In this story, the narrator is a demon (Screwtape) writing a series of letters to his nephew (Wormwood) who seems to be a young and less experienced (rookie) demon whom he's instructing/advising how to tempt a man.

"Desiring their freedom, He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves them to 'do it on their own'. And there lies our opportunity. But also, remember, there lies our danger. If once they get through this initial dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and therefore much harder to tempt."

One conclusion that I've made so far from this book is God's relationship to us (not the way around). God gives us complete free will to decide to follow him or not, but if we opt to follow him, He won't abandon us.

At the same time, we're vulnerable to sin due to the same free will that God had given us.

Some of these conclusions might be obvious, but reading them in a dark comedy is really cool. Sometimes the best sermon and second-hand teachings (Jesus being the source of these real teachings) don't come from an altar.

After all, we're all ministers of faith.

many faces, flavors & recipes for Christianity

Christianity is one religion. Nonetheless there are numerous practices for each of the several denominations based on geographical region, language, culture or other social factors. Just in the US, there are at least nine (9) ideological practices and behaviors -- to my understanding and sole opinion -- if not more.

1. Some Christians feel that humans are born evil and need to purge sin through religious rites and penitence to be in God's Grace with or without continuous references to the devil (Satan), demons and/or hell that seem to exploit the fear of a loving yet vengeful god (not God). This ideology makes people believe that they're dirty and gives them shame of themselves. It also makes people afraid of God instead of themselves as God's children.


2. Considering the devil as part of Christianity, many believe that we do wrong (sin) because of temptation.


3. Somewhat derived from the previous two ideas, there are those who practice magic using the name of God mixed with santería (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santería), voodoo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_African_Vodun) or other similar practices to cast spells (good, bad, evil eye, cleansing, curses, etc) with rites and/or chants on others. When did witchcraft and/or superstitions become a subset of Christianity? Of course, faith can expel demons, but that's a whole different story all together.


4. At the same time, others feel that humans are good by nature and that sin tarnishes our connection to God and/or the Light of God coming from within us. Hence we're saved by faith in God alone.


5. The previous is related to the belief that God loves us regardless of how bad we are as a father who loves his children regardless of their constant misbehavior.


6. As part of these previous beliefs, the concept of Satan (the fallen angel who dared to question and defy God) is clearly present while worshiping. Of course, there are also those who don't believe in the devil, hell and/or the purgatory.


7. There is also the practice or belief that priests are sent by God, hence being an extension of God on earth or simply being God's representative on earth. This is one of the most criticized aspects of the Catholic church where the pope is seen as the head of the Church and practically a holy man or saint. Well also the idea of saints who are prayed to makes little sense (if any at all). Since I was raised Catholic, I know this concept well, but I never really cared for it.


8. At the same time, there are groups that are either inclusive allowing anyone in or exclusive "testing" people before becoming part of the congregation or member of that specific church.


9. Some of these groups -- within any of the previously described -- force its members to surrender 10% of their earnings (tithe) regardless of their financial needs (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/to-tithe-or-not-to-tithe-yet-never.html) -- to the point that members must surrender copies of their income tax returns. Of course, some others just request it, but accept any offering may be able t give at any given time.

Nonetheless there are several beliefs and practices that are broadly common and/or accepted. One belief is that we all need to repent from our sins and offenses to God and others. Another is that faith can achieve anything since God is omnipotent without using God (#3).

In general, most subdivisions of Christianity are a mix of these and perhaps other practices and ideologies. Christianity has become a sort different flavors and recipes -- each demanding to be called the true Christian practice.

Which of all these practices is right? Which is wrong? Well this is for God alone to decide -- not for us the broken and the flawed.

What do I believe? Number three is my choice although many people surely seem to have been born evil or at least twisted beyond repair. I also believe in hell and a devil from personal experiences. In the other hand, I also believe that my maternal grandparents are in Heaven and that maternal grandfather is or was my guardian angel.

Do I believe in salvation (Heaven & life after death)? Of course, I do, but I'm not too particularly worried about this -- right now at least -- although it'd be a god thing. I prefer to have my children safe, healthy, taken care of and with God.

Am I without sin? Not at all, I'm fairly twisted (sex, political ideologies, sick sense of humor, etc) hopefully within repair.