rants: fire & brimstone

According to the program "Gates of Hell" on the History Channel, different societies have believed that the entrance to hell's here on earth -- emphasizing on the three-tier belief adopted by Christianity that Heaven's above us (sky), earth's where we live and hell's underneath us (magma, center of earth).

One thing that emphasized on this two-hour program's that Christianity's based lots of its traditions (scaring, converting people, etc) in the concept of damnation (fire, punishment in the flesh, eternal suffering, etc; yet psychological torture hardly mentioned).

I've got no doubt that hell exists. I believe that I've gone through the horror of hell many times in my life and come back just to feel them many times again (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/as-my-soul-ran-away-at-night-every.html).

Nonetheless I don't think it's a place underneath the earth's crust. I believe that it's a spiritual place where souls are tortured.

restless me, always burning adrenaline

I remember when I first heard this word. I might have been in the second or third grade and I knew the textbook definition. It was good enough for spelling quizzes and tests at the time, but I couldn't understand the concept of not having (lacking, being without) rest. Several years later, I've come to understand the concept of not being able to rest (hyperactivity, worries, etc) regardless how tired I could be at any given point -- always burning adrenaline like a drag-racer burning fuel on a asphalt track to nowhere. Hence I get bored easily and need constant stimulation (watching TV, listening to music, etc). Perhaps the general need for stimulation triggers my mind to function continuously thinking, worrying, reading and/or writing (as in the case of all the material that you can see that I produce every day). It's awkwardly difficult for me to rest. As a matter of fact, I don't really know how to rest other than getting myself so tired that I practically pass out -- just as a priest told me (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/as-my-soul-ran-away-at-night-every.html). In all, I'm total mess -- as if anyone cares.

hell & demons, heaven & angels: mea culpa

I guess I should answer my own questions.

Does believing in hell, demons or the devil mean that I believe in Heaven, angels and therefore God?

Do I believe in (1) hell, (2) demons, (3) the devil, (4) Heaven, (5) angels and/or (6) God?

http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/hell-demons-heaven-angels.html

I believe in hell as eternal torment and terror (highest level of fear). Whatever that torment and terror may be. I also believe in demons and the devil as part of hell.

At the same time, I believe in Heaven as the Kingdom of God, as the reward for those who are clean of sin (in grace). I believe in angels as those souls who serve God in Heaven, especially the concept of guardian angels as the personal steward each one of us has been granted with. Needless to say, I believe in one God -- regardless of the name (Jehovah, Allah, Krishna, Ra, etc), meaning, concept or definition given by humans.

I don't know what to believe about concepts like the purgatory and saints (early Church martyrs or not) -- other than being concepts created by men.

Believing in hell and its horrors does influence my belief of Heaven. I need either some sort of balance in the cosmos (good vs evil; yin and yang, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_and_yang) or to justify the horrors I've lived (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/as-my-soul-ran-away-at-night-every.html). As I usually say, I've been in and out (the horrors of) hell. Hence if hell exists, Heaven must do too.

hell & demons, heaven & angels

Does believing in hell, demons or the devil mean that we believe in Heaven, angels and therefore God?

Maybe this isn't quite a question that many want to touch. Some believe in a Godhead, but not in hell. Some believe in evil (hell, demons, etc), but not in a god -- at least the God we know. These are six different elements that I just threw in a single question. Maybe the best alternative would be breaking my original question in six separate parts. Do you believe in (1) hell, (2) demons, (3) the devil, (4) Heaven, (5) angels and/or (6) God? You're welcome to share your answers sending them me via my Twitter account (@Project05952381).

Going back to my original question, there are groups of Christians who believe in all these six elements. These Christians (mostly Catholics) believe in eternal damnation (the devil, demons and hell) as a punishment if God doesn't find us clean from sin. At the same time, if God does find us clean from sin (in grace), we'd be welcomed in Heaven where God resides with the angels and saints.

So if you're a Christian, you most likely believe in and/or follow the Christ (Jesus), but what else do you believe in? If you need help answering, read the following article.

Many Americans Mix Multiple Faiths
http://pewforum.org/Other-Beliefs-and-Practices/Many-Americans-Mix-Multiple-Faiths.aspx

ruthless winter to come: dark side of the moon-lit earth

All Gallows' Eve just passed with ghouls and ghosts asking for candy. It's still autumn with its pumpkin pies and naked trees (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/all-hallows-eve-fun.html). Nevertheless the temperature's dropped to 43°F, but it feels like 36°F with the windshield factor (as of 2010/11/10 at 07:41). That's a huge drop from 102°F this past summer (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/hell-on-earth-102f-nyc.html). This is merely a preview of what this coming winter in NYC (at least, no idea about other areas on the US) could be like -- ruthless, bitter and plainly life-threatening. Then again, I don't think there's any other place on earth that I'd rather be for winter with a cup of coffee in my cold hands looking out the window at the snow.

With this new low temperatures, many people started wearing heavy parkas and layered wool coats. Stupidly enough, I'm only wearing a two-layer nylon jacket since I forget to wear anything heavier. Besides since I just moved (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/11/moving.html), I don't even know where most of clothes are in the mess that I've got in the apartment that I'm still making sense of.

day from hell (or another day in hell)

day from hell (or another day in hell)

Some days every that could go wrong goes completely wrong. Today my system totally crapped out. Printer connections or perhaps their queues failed. Printer parts failed. Programs (including email) failed. Nothing responded properly making my work harder than usual as I had the President's Office calling me on the phone every five minutes.

In all, it was a day from hell -- painful, tiring and over all annoying. This makes me wonder if the belief that hell's the world we live in rather than a after-death punishment could be true. Well today could easily prove this theory.

If earth was really hell, some sort of punishment or life-long test, this could be interpreted as a form of reincarnation. In this belief, a person would live on earth while correcting his/her mistakes from previous lives in order to achieve illumination or perfection. This would definitely mean that Krishna had it right all along.

By the way, because of this system failure, I prefer Linux (http://www.linux.org/), which is more stable than the overrated operating systems in the market (no names, no law suit). Then again perhaps, I should have just redone everything on open standards (like OpenOffice; http://www.openoffice.org/) and get the job done. As for the technologies that don't work, well they could all go to Silicon Heaven (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-no-silicon-heaven-smeg.html).

no God, no Heaven... what if?

This might be sacrilege just to ask, but it's a valid question nonetheless (followed yet by a another for emphasis). What'd happen if there was no God, no Heaven, no reason to exist other than inhabiting this planet? Does this mean that our Christian values are worthless?

Said all this, I know God exists. I don't think anyone could make me change my mind. Ironically enough, I don't have any tangible proof for what I feel and hold as true. I only have my experiences (what I've seen, felt and lived) and my beliefs.

I admit that we don't know for sure as we constantly doubt, but we still believe in this invisible God (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/invisible-magical-man-in-skies.html). After all this irrational belief is what we call "faith."

Nonetheless, if there was no God at all, yes, we'd have wasted part of lives in a senseless effort to hold on a faith. At the same time, you'd have still learned to be good people.

The problem with that last comment at times is just too obvious. We're usually only good to those like us (similar core values, beliefs, interests, etc) and we reject everyone else.

witchcraft

I grew up seeing and believing in witchcraft. Maybe being part Italian didn't help not believing in the occult, evil eye, spells, cleansing of spells, possession, ghosts, demons and other crap like that. Crystal balls, Tarot, oils, good luck charms, fortune telling, using the Bible for evil (witchcraft using the name of God) and something similar to voodoo were things I saw growing up. Part of family practiced several of these acts. As a matter of fact, to make matters worse, Christianity is tainted with the occult and other pagan beliefs. In several parts of the world, Christianity and witchcraft go hand in hand. The worst part of all this is that I've actually witnessed this. Maybe I was simply born evil or from evil nature.

as my soul ran away at night, every night

As a child, I was afraid of sleeping thinking I'd die as soon as falling asleep. This may sound weird, but several times a week I'd feel a terrifying sensation. It felt as if something would rush out of my body tearing me inside in a sound similar to a loud jet airplane during that split second where one's half awake and entering full paralysis of the body. Hence I was fully conscious, but I couldn't move or control my body (merely a mind, a soul, a spirit trapped in what was practically a corpse for a few eternal minutes).

The only way to break these strange occurrences was forcing myself to move my paralyzed body and scream. To say the least, screaming in terror (past the point of fear and horror) in the middle of night afraid to die then and there was enough to practically wake up the dead.

At some point, I started thinking that it was my soul leaving my body. Was I at that point stop my soul from leaving? I hated considering that my soul could leave my body while being fully conscious leaving an empty husk of a body behind.

At some other point in time, I even thought that I was experiencing the horrors of hell. Well I still don't know and perhaps I might never know.

One thing that helped me when I was in high school (15-17) was talking to the priest of the church I used to go to with my best friend. This priest seemed to understand what I was going through. He even asked me if I believed in witchcraft/sorcery (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/09/witchcraft.html), to which I agreed, and he asked me never to practice it. He also told me to go to sleep tired and so I've tried to do since.

These episodes would come and go several years at a time. I've never known when they'd come or when they'd stop. In all, this has been a part of my life since I was at least eight (8). Eventually the frequency of these events has diminished, but never stopped. I haven't had an episode in several years, but I know it could happen again.

business of religion

When did religion become a BUSINESS? There's always something religious to buy, sell and/or trade -- not only one's faith (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/08/tough-sale-mean-business.html). Nowadays you can even buy credentials as a pastor to lead worship and to marry in some websites for about $20. This means anyone (including myself) can be "ordained" for about $20, less or FREE! With all this, how can we trust pastors and/or small churches? When did religion become a JOKE? The worst part in all this is that there are no regulations -- legal or religious (aside from withing a given denomination).

invisible, magical man in the skies

For many, God (the concept of the Godhead) is merely an invisible and magical man in the skies.

The idea of sky comes from the three-tier ideology of the nature of earth with God residing in the skies (Heaven) while the demons living in the center of earth (hell) and humans merely inhabiting the face of earth. At the same time, the idea of God being invisible and magical is merely the limitation of our human understanding as we try to personify God to understand him. We commonly fail to see God in nature, the ground we walk on, the skies, the seas, the cosmos, other worlds, all known, all unknown and creation as a whole (Lectio Divina). Alas he's all around us -- hence in all places at the same time, looking after us all the time, knowing it all at all times (omnipotent, omniscient).

In any case, I do worship and have faith on this invisible and magical man in the skies -- as irrational as it may seem, beyond human understanding.

tough sale, mean business

We buy religion from church and then sell it to others. Second-hand religion is a tough (at times, mean) business.

It's toughest when selling faith with fire and brimstone -- emphasizing on the fires and horrors of hell. Yet many sell and others happily buy it this way. I can't understand why anyone would buy and sell his/her faith using fear as its currency.

Since figurative language might not be easily understood by some. We learn about God in church (building and/or congregation) and then teach it to others (usually one's children). The question now is why we learn about God to propagate our new-found faith whichever way we do.

Being negative about life to sell religion is like calling someone a stupid idiot, yet asking him/her to succeed in life. A negative doesn't bring a positive (-n != +n) and it's not absolute (-n != |n|).

One should be positive about religion (the Kingdom of God) and promote this positive aspect (the Glory of God) to others. One shouldn't run from the devil and ask God to rescue us. One should run to God and ask him welcome us.

devotionals, pt. 2

I'd like to take the entries of this blog to something more than merely being wrapped around XML (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xml). I'd like to publish this whole lot, make a difference, convert someone, teach the Word of God and practically start a ministry. It's such a big dream -- perhaps bigger than all others I've had. If we're all ministers of faith, that means that I might be half-way there, but I doubt it.

Does anyone read this blog aside from a handful of my friends at times? I haven't paid attention at the statistics or logs of this blog. I'm afraid to see that no one comes about.

Is this making anyone think? Can these words I write (type) bring anyone closer to God? I truly hope so.

Am I pure in heart and soul to teach and preach to others? No, I'm not. I've got much to learn about being some sort role model. Of course, this would mean rebuilding my whole life from its foundations, but it can be hard (not impossible) to let go of one's wrongly adopted survival instincts (anger, anxiety, lack of trust, etc). Said the latter, I don't consider myself a nice person at times although I want to be. For the time being, I can only advise those who now face the demons (suicide, self hurt, alcohol to cope with life, etc) that I've faced. Once again, answering my previous two questions, I hope I can help anyone with my experiences, sins and pains even if this is no devotional (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/devotionals-our-father-which-art-in.html) or collection of.

Christian, plain and simple

I was raised Catholic, but now I go to a Presbyterian church. Does this still mean that I'm Catholic? If not, does this now make me a Presbyterian or at least a Protestant of some sort?

All I know and hence care about is that I'm a Christian. My faith (or lack of, much too many times) doesn't change depending on the sign or label at the door of a given house of worship.

Anyway (as if anyone cares), I started going to a Presbyterian church because the persons delivering the sermon spoke plain English -- not some Shakespearean rendition of a mass or tales of eternal damnation. I didn't have to guess what these pastors from an altar were trying to communicate to the people on the pews. The most shocking thing was actually hearing jokes, laughing and even applauding after any beautiful performance (choir, solo soprano or baritone, children recital, etc). These were little details that are still new and exciting to me. After all, shouldn't we all feel thrilled and engaged during worship?

devotionals... Our Father which art in heaven...

It seems that to write a devotional one has to take some text of the Bible and analyze it. If this is true, I'll give it a shot.

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
-- Matthew 6:9-13 (KJV)

This is the Lord's Prayer -- one of the two sacraments given to us by Jesus. It's followed by two verses that emphasize Matthew 6:12.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
-- Matthew 6:12 (KJV)

This means that one has to forgive others for God to forgive them. At the same time one has to be forgiven by others in order for God to forgive us.

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
-- Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

This is a rule or obligation that I constantly heard growing up Catholic. It seems to be the main objective to accomplish before dying. All sins that are not forgiven would stay with that individual forever. One has to be good to men and to God. When we sin, we should REPENT and ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS to those we've sinned against and to God. At the same time, we must forgive others or their sins would stay with them forever.

Perhaps this is the reason why Catholics tell a priest all their sins for someone to forgive them. For what it's worth, I never felt comfortable telling a priest my sins for him to tell me to repeat some prayer whatever number of times. After a while, the senseless repetition and charade gets old. This is one of the main differences between Catholics and Protestants.

Said the latter, I might have turned out to be a Protestant after all. Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm pure or sinless in any way. I've made to many bad things (deeds, choices, etc) to remember or that I care to write on this blog.

One detail that I must point out is that in prayer or sermon, I don't agree with anyone telling that I'll rot in hell for my sins. I find this too negative. It also takes the focus off God, His glory and His kingdom.

summer rain (thanks be to God)

It's raining this morning and fairly cool. The weather's much better (a cool 75°F, almost a 30° difference, very nice!) than what it was about a week ago (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/07/hell-on-earth-102f-nyc.html). I wish all summer could be like this morning without the nasty humidity and the infernal heat. Of course, many people prefer the heat -- but definitely not me.

hell on earth, 102°F NYC

The common idea of hell is fire, brimstone, eternal suffering and the Devil as its master and host. This image of suffering and damnation goes back to the Kingdom of Hades in Roman/Greek mythology and even as far the Underworld in the time of the pharaohs. The image of fire and brimstone comes from multiple verses in the Bible.

Anyway NYC today was hell on earth with fire and brimstone (heat of 102°F and 100% humidity), suffering (dangerous conditions for people with asthma or other respiratory ailments, small children and the elderly), but no devil other than the heat and humidity.

Taking the subway -- other than taking the bus system -- was no easy task. It was like descending to the guts of hell. At least most subway cars -- and buses for that matter -- have a working air conditioning system. Of course, air conditioning doesn't mean anything when the subway car or bus is crowded due to the increased production of CO2 and body heat.

Summer time is this city can be brutally hot and humid. Yet the only thing worse than the heat and humidity is the smell of sweat on oneself and others.

many faces, flavors & recipes for Christianity

Christianity is one religion. Nonetheless there are numerous practices for each of the several denominations based on geographical region, language, culture or other social factors. Just in the US, there are at least nine (9) ideological practices and behaviors -- to my understanding and sole opinion -- if not more.

1. Some Christians feel that humans are born evil and need to purge sin through religious rites and penitence to be in God's Grace with or without continuous references to the devil (Satan), demons and/or hell that seem to exploit the fear of a loving yet vengeful god (not God). This ideology makes people believe that they're dirty and gives them shame of themselves. It also makes people afraid of God instead of themselves as God's children.


2. Considering the devil as part of Christianity, many believe that we do wrong (sin) because of temptation.


3. Somewhat derived from the previous two ideas, there are those who practice magic using the name of God mixed with santería (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santería), voodoo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_African_Vodun) or other similar practices to cast spells (good, bad, evil eye, cleansing, curses, etc) with rites and/or chants on others. When did witchcraft and/or superstitions become a subset of Christianity? Of course, faith can expel demons, but that's a whole different story all together.


4. At the same time, others feel that humans are good by nature and that sin tarnishes our connection to God and/or the Light of God coming from within us. Hence we're saved by faith in God alone.


5. The previous is related to the belief that God loves us regardless of how bad we are as a father who loves his children regardless of their constant misbehavior.


6. As part of these previous beliefs, the concept of Satan (the fallen angel who dared to question and defy God) is clearly present while worshiping. Of course, there are also those who don't believe in the devil, hell and/or the purgatory.


7. There is also the practice or belief that priests are sent by God, hence being an extension of God on earth or simply being God's representative on earth. This is one of the most criticized aspects of the Catholic church where the pope is seen as the head of the Church and practically a holy man or saint. Well also the idea of saints who are prayed to makes little sense (if any at all). Since I was raised Catholic, I know this concept well, but I never really cared for it.


8. At the same time, there are groups that are either inclusive allowing anyone in or exclusive "testing" people before becoming part of the congregation or member of that specific church.


9. Some of these groups -- within any of the previously described -- force its members to surrender 10% of their earnings (tithe) regardless of their financial needs (http://project05952381.blogspot.com/2010/05/to-tithe-or-not-to-tithe-yet-never.html) -- to the point that members must surrender copies of their income tax returns. Of course, some others just request it, but accept any offering may be able t give at any given time.

Nonetheless there are several beliefs and practices that are broadly common and/or accepted. One belief is that we all need to repent from our sins and offenses to God and others. Another is that faith can achieve anything since God is omnipotent without using God (#3).

In general, most subdivisions of Christianity are a mix of these and perhaps other practices and ideologies. Christianity has become a sort different flavors and recipes -- each demanding to be called the true Christian practice.

Which of all these practices is right? Which is wrong? Well this is for God alone to decide -- not for us the broken and the flawed.

What do I believe? Number three is my choice although many people surely seem to have been born evil or at least twisted beyond repair. I also believe in hell and a devil from personal experiences. In the other hand, I also believe that my maternal grandparents are in Heaven and that maternal grandfather is or was my guardian angel.

Do I believe in salvation (Heaven & life after death)? Of course, I do, but I'm not too particularly worried about this -- right now at least -- although it'd be a god thing. I prefer to have my children safe, healthy, taken care of and with God.

Am I without sin? Not at all, I'm fairly twisted (sex, political ideologies, sick sense of humor, etc) hopefully within repair.

demons, hell, evil, rock n' roll

I'm watching "Iron Maiden: Flight 666" (http://www.ironmaiden.com/) and it brought up very bad memories of the PMRC (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parents_Music_Resource_Center) and ignorance. There are idiots out there who think that rock n' roll is the devil's music. These people don't seem to understand that rockers and well as geeks have a weird sense of humor. Sometimes references to demons, hell or evil are to tell a story. In the case of this Maiden documentary that I'm referring to, dark themes only tell stories and are not an excuse to worship the devil as many idiots think. This is the same band that has poetry and quotes of the Bible in the lyrics of many songs.

Most people have short term memory especially with something so trivial as music. In the late 1980's, the PMRC was an excuse for bored wives of politicians to criticize music and feed clueless parents and society that the music their children listened to was diabolical and simply bad for children. This was a political stand that damaged many young Americans back then. Isn't it too much of a coincidence that the wife of a then-senator was the head of the PMRC and that senator later became vice-president of the US? If curious, do a Google search on the PMRC and its political ties.

I know that there are some bands that have satanic material, but we shouldn't allow one bad apple rot the whole bunch. Yes, I love rock n' roll as Joan Jett (http://www.joanjett.com/) says in her song. I worked in the music industry for almost a decade. Yes, there's a lot of corruption and sin, but at the same time there are a lot of true artists who love their art (music) and want to create a better world.

to hell and back

Religion can be included in parapsychology (study, understanding, dealing with the supernatural like ghosts and demons; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parapsychology). The belief of Satan (Lucifer, Hades, the Anti-Christ) and Hell (the Kingdom of Hades, the Underworld, the Void, etc) are a part of many religions and an essential part of Christianity.

I've experienced horror that may only be explained as spiritual yet demonic. For a long while, I couldn't sleep because of the horror of feeling what I understood then as my soul ripping and escaping my trembling body. Now adding this experience to the rest of the paranormal horror that I've gone through (haunting, possession, etc), I'm convinced beyond doubt that both Hell and Heaven do exist -- hence the existence of pure evil and pure good, a Devil and a God.